Learning (expanded) Non-violent Communication via Skywork 21 comments

12 Apr 2010 @ 15:12, by Max Sandor (The following is a response to several inquiries in the past few months) Wiki sez: "Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a process developed by Marshall Rosenberg. It is a way to communicate with greater compassion and clarity. It focuses on two things: honest self-expression — exposing what matters to oneself in a way that's likely to inspire compassion in others, and empathy — listening with deep compassion. One central tenet of nonviolent communication (also called "compassionate communication") is that everything a human being does (whether benign or hurtful) is an attempt to meet their human needs. NVC postulates that conflict between individuals or groups is a result of miscommunication about these needs, often because of coercive language or manipulative language (e.g., inducing fear, guilt, shame, praise, blame, duty, obligation, punishment, or reward)." [link] Sounds good? Alright. What's new? (Actually, can there be anything new on Communication, Science and Sanity after Korzybski???) It seems that social customs in our times is at such a low level that people rush to register for a course in behaviour adjustment that should be plain obvious and the (very!) good news is that the movement actually finds a lot of followers and 'certified trainers'. Communications, on the Internet in especially, occurs mostly in a vicious and poisonous mode and those who claim to 'educate others' are often the worst culprits in expressions unworthy for educated people. The success of a course like that makes one wonder, though. How come one needs a seminar to learn what should be the 'norm'? Theory and praxis are two things and even though there are models of communication more concise and encompassing (spare me the long list, plz!), and 'training the basics' and APPLYING it in daily life is priceless. Again, any decent mode communication can be found compatible with the rules of NVC, called fittingly the OFNR process model, so by all means, I encourage everybody to become a CVNC Certified Trainer as well. Wiki sez further: "The NVC model has three or four steps depending on the mode of use. 1. Observation 2. Feelings 3. Needs 4. Request (optional, depending on mode) The two modes of use of the NVC model are 1. empathy, including both self-empathy, and empathy for another, and 2. honest self-expression, including "please" (request) and "thank you" (gratitude)" [end of quote] This is great, when applied. Yet some of the crucial parts of miscommunication are missing: failure to answer-up (acknowledge) in an adequate timeframe, jumping abstraction levels, and interruption of a communication in process. Of course, if we would integrate those two points into the OVNR, most TV talk shows would be classified as 'violent'. How can one learn obviously sane behaviour patterns? Skywork, a group process to access the collective subconscious layers, often called the 'morphogenetic field', is based on the rules above, including the 'expanded model', plus a few others. We can witness and testify how the basic sanity of communication in action. We can SEE, FEEL, and UNDERSTAND that a sane communication is a crucial part in solving problems, whether in individual problems or group conflicts. Skywork APPLIES these principles, plus a few others, to do this and in the process the participants can incorporate them into their own strategies and patterns of success in life. In other words, instead of TALKING about it, Skywork group processing is the faster route to actually ADAPTING the principles of sane communication in daily life. (The first, immediate comment to above:) My friend Bruce [link], one of the most Korzybski [link] experts I know of and his official biographer (stay tuned for the release in 2010!!), lauded&upgraded my blurb thus: "The problem with old wisdom is to make it new in one's life and practice. What makes wisdom timeless is that it is always timely." mx: Amen!

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