A small circle: Candles in the Sun - A culture of hidden violence |
Category: Opinions 5 comments 25 Mar 2004 @ 14:25 by swan : Funny Dianne,I said to my spiritual sister this morning, I was talking about my process and how I didn't want to appear less evolved. Just as it came out of my mouth I started to laugh and said " Heaven forbid I look less evolved than______" I often work so hard on my evolution I forget I am human, I forget everyone else is human. Balance is the trick. 27 Mar 2004 @ 10:59 by Aiden @209.178.177.91 : comparing sizes Norway: Two teen boys have been fined 6,000 Kroner (around $700) for measuring their weewees in class. The two boys were comparing the size of their boners in a classroom. A female student was in the room at the time and reported the incident to a teacher. No {link:http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_392704.html|details} are available on what the measurements turned out to be :-) 27 Mar 2004 @ 11:30 by i2i : LOL Thank you, Swan, and very funny, Aiden! This obsession with comparing stupid things that have nothing to do with who we are, be it one's illusory "Mayfly" spiritual evolution or the size of one's weewee---a very gender specific thing under this latter form, but obviously a greater problem and more widespread tendency than a mere gender specific issue, as Swan aptly demonstrated in her comment. Though we have no idea where it starts (call it {link:http://scarletjewels.com/newslog2.php?did=148&vid=148&xmode=show_article&amode=standard&aoffset=0&artid=000148-000131&time=1080249634|patriarchy}, if you like, or {link:http://www.xs4all.nl/~wichm/psymove.html|whatever seems appropriate} or relevant to you) this comparing happens in locker rooms, dressing rooms, boardrooms, classrooms, bedrooms, and chat rooms! I have no idea where it starts (I think patriarchy is an oversimplification, and a somewhat misleading term, with too much potential in it for scapegoating), yet we see it. We see it around us. We see it in us. We see it in good people consumed with the obsession of appearing wiser and better than their peers (e.g. "If you don't know my secret you'll never know if you are as good as I am...") 27 Mar 2004 @ 16:43 by Hanae @209.178.177.91 : Tolerance There is that story (some Zen teaching, I think) of a prisoner taking down all the drab and ugly pictures from the walls of his/her cell and putting up pretty pictures. Changing the pictures on the wall from greed, violence and ignorance into ideals (that we should not be greedy, violent, or ignorant) improves the decoration, perhaps, but still the freedom you want isn't there, you're still imprisoned in the same room. To me, online interactions are mostly useful when they open new horizons, new unexpected ways of looking at things, of doing things (one of the hallmarks of NCN and of many other places on the internet.) Most people online are seekers (we all are), but sometimes other forces come into play and unconscious narcissistic/authoritarian patterns manifest. This is when Dr. Jekyll turns into the New Age modern version of Mr. (or Ms.) Hyde: the Guru Wannabe. Such manifestations are easy to spot - to the Guru you are not a friend (and most certainly not a peer or an equal) but a follower. Michael's description is right on: "Every doubt about the guru is a reflection of your unworthiness, or the influence of an external evil force [or your own inner demons]. You must humble yourself, for the greater he/she is, the less you are - until you reach the inner circle and can start abusing other people the way your guru abused you." The Guru Wannabe has stopped being a seeker and has gotten the best of the Inner Child of which Julie was speaking on her Log. 16 Jun 2004 @ 14:25 by Emily Vonnessa @69.33.46.10 : Behind the "pretty picture" A hidden culture of silent and indirect aggression. Clearly, Patriarchy is a problem. But patriarchy is not the only problem. Great comment, Hanae. Ever remember being a high school student? Take a {link:http://www.clubophelia.com/RAandbullying.htm|quiz}...lol. While, mostly, males tend to use physical threats as agents of harm, females treat relationships as harm agents, much like pawns on a chessboard. Gossiping, withdrawing affection to get what one wants, and using social exclusion to retaliate against a friend are all examples. See Rachel Simon's excellent book, {link:http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0156027348/ref=pm_dp_ln_b_6/002-9275059-5204048?v=glance&s=books&vi=reviews|Odd girl out} or {link:http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0743249879/ref=pm_dp_ln_b_6/002-9275059-5204048?v=glance&s=books&vi=reviews|Girl Wars} by Cheryl Dellassega and Charisse Nixon. Although the focus of these books is essentially on the preteen and teenage girls' culture, I think that it can be said that these kind of insidious forms of relational aggression (backbiting, exclusion, rumors, ganging-up, silent treatment, name-calling and manipulation) can also be found, by and large, among adults, males and females, especially in groups which, for one reason or another (religious, professional, etc.) have been socialized to be nice above all else, and where, as a result, aggression is channeled into nonphysical, indirect, hidden forms. Other entries in Opinions 19 Sep 2006 @ 00:09: My God’s better than your God… 13 Jul 2006 @ 23:06: The Law of Attraction? 30 Mar 2006 @ 08:03: We and They: The Polarization of America 4 Feb 2006 @ 04:45: The Unfeeling President - An essay by E. L. Doctorow 10 Oct 2004 @ 05:39: Consistently Dogmatic 20 Jul 2004 @ 00:59: Racism, Oppression, Poverty and Social Injustice 7 Apr 2004 @ 13:10: What would you ask?
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