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24 Apr 2003 @ 14:00, by Andy Lehman
The Moody Goblin
by Andy Lehman
I am going to begin with a startling insight: There is nothing to make one consider one’s own creative writing process like a creative writing room.
There are probably a million things I could post articles about in this room, but my own personal Muse seems to be getting in the way, rather than helping. I’ve decided that my Muse is a moody Goblin. Very moody. I’m sure this isn’t unique, but I find myself constantly in awe of people who can consistently write decent material. The factors that combine to helping or hindering me in the writing process are way beyond what I know how to control. It is not just an “inspiration” thing. As a matter of fact, the times when my mind fills with the most wonderful inspiration are the one’s in which I find it most impossible to sit down and stem the flow of thought enough to get it into words. That is a really annoying thing. I always have the feeling that, if I were able to consistently write down my thoughts, I would probably be a published author and a Nobel Prize winner and… who knows what by now? I’d have “it” all figured out if I could just put the pieces of the puzzle together like that. There are plenty of fleeting moments where I get the feeling that, “Hey, a significant piece of the world actually makes sense now!” When that happens, I’m almost invariably too busy having ten trillion thoughts a minute to write anything down. By the time I do calm down enough, I can’t follow the process in a way that makes any sense.
Then there’s the other end of the spectrum. At times when I just curl up and feel like disappearing, I am only to ready to put fingers to keyboard and rattle on about how much everything SUCKS. Why would anyone want to read any of that, though? It is possible that some of it is a little insightful, but often it’s just too full of naughty words to even consider sharing. You wouldn’t believe how many pages of angry, sad ramble I’ve managed to produce in recent days. I shudder when I think of what I’d have to go through to distill something truly meaningful and sensible out of all of it.
There is that rare moment when I’m both inspired AND calm enough to manage to catch a fruitful, inspired thought process in the act. If I can take some snapshots of it that allow me to sit down later and figure out exactly how it was moving, I’m in good shape. The thing is that it’s so hard to predict when that will happen. So, when I’m in a room like this, I feel this tug on my “writing” sense. “I should be writing something pretty,” say I. But the Moody Goblin that plays the role of Muse in my brain only complies with such requests when it feels like it. That isn’t very often. Sometimes, I have an idea, or someone else suggests something, and the Goblin and I hold hands and go skipping merrily down Writer’s Lane (it’s a she goblin, before you ask). That’s great, because it allows me to give people the impression that my mind is actually a cohesive place where things make some kind of sense. The VAST majority of the time, however, I come in with a great stack of ideas only to find the Goblin running around a maypole. “Hey Ms. Moody Goblin, if you please, stop running around and help me put these hefty ideas into organized sentences and paragraphs,” I plead. “Blaaapher flagagraph! Blaaaaa Goooo!” And then the Goblin knocks the stack of ideas out of my hands and starts chewing on a few of them. She then proceeds to orbit the maypole faster and faster until all the ideas are swept up in a whirlwind. By the time I get the Goblin to calm down, I can’t find anything.
So, you see, I’d really love it if my Muse were a nice, well behaved elf or something like that. Some sort of being that would consistently allow me to translate the inspirations I feel into communicable form. Such a being would be far more successful in creative writing than I am. The fact of the matter is that I have a Moody Goblin. On top of that, it’s approaching May Day, and the Goblin always get extra frantic in her mood swings around that time, being stationed near a maypole as she is. When MY life is out of control anyway, the Moody Goblin gets even more unreliable. I hope that this short piece on my creative process makes absolutely no sense to the few people who will read it, because it certainly doesn’t make any sense to me. That is the nature of this particular beast. That’s what we’re here to explore, I guess. That’s a far more ambitious project that some may think. Nothing is certain when you’re running around a maypole with a Moody Goblin. Maybe I should call her a Moody She-Goblin.
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Category: The Journal
5 comments
24 Apr 2003 @ 23:23 by koravya : Distillantion
From the Image to the Words.
With every breath I take,
the Image changes.
I will never put all of these Images down.
There is Only one to be chosen,
at a time,
for distillation,
into a string of coherent words.
This moody she-goblin
is an ally.
You have created a remarkable picture of Her.
She is the non-sensibility that mirrors Sensibility.
Their dialogue is your theme.
Looks like to me, just offhand.
Here's a word I ran into while reading
The Bell Jar last week.
Dybbuk.
Never heard that one before,
so I gave it a quick search.
"The Hebrew word "dybbuk" comes from a word meaning "cleaving" or "clinging."
"A dybbuk is a wandering, disembodied soul that enters another person's body and holds fast."
[link]
Where are Your/My thoughts actually coming from, anyway?
25 Apr 2003 @ 07:57 by martha : many parts
Why andy there are many aspects of self that come out in writing and for that matter in everyday life. You just seem to be concentrating on mood more at the moment. I know - getting the atmosphere right! Mood is very important in writing but there are lots of emotions to explore. When I was your age I hadn't started yoga yet. When I did, I learned to look at my moods and slowly through time enjoy the energy but not not let them overtake me.(well actually silliness can still overtake me)
John your comments are simple and to the point. enjoyed them. I have heard of dybbuk before. Me thinks andy has a case of growing pains. Perfectly healthy.(and you never outgrow growing pains. you just get smarter recognizing them when they happen). LOL
25 Apr 2003 @ 11:59 by swan : my moody goblin is an injured
hand
so many things to say,
and it is toohard totype them.
frustrating.
i want to help and add my thoughts
and ideas, but my "hands are tied'
the Gods/Goddess' have other plans..
stop...not the time for creative expression..a time to BE....still.
what?rest the creative Muse
when her juices are flowing...
come on.!
ok..for now..i will hold
my
thoughts.
and be witness
to
the
process...
25 Apr 2003 @ 18:18 by quidnovi : LOL
So your muse is a moody gooblin?
And you think YOU have a problem?
Well, let me put things in perspective for you :-)
27 Apr 2003 @ 11:41 by catana : sorry
It makes perfect sense to me, which is about as much sense as you can expect when considering writing. I never thought about it in terms of a moody goblin, but I love it. As for me, the only way I can cope sometimes with the spindizzy of words and ideas is to give the goblin a good slap upside the head. And another one or two until she settles down. But she always reasserts herself, so it's round the maypole again til I can catch her and slap her down again. Very tiring process.
Other musings in The Journal
10 Nov 2004 @ 04:02: Vacant Lot
7 Mar 2004 @ 12:49: Coffee in the Backyard - Chapter 3
13 Feb 2004 @ 18:38: Chrysalis
8 Feb 2004 @ 14:00: DreamLight
1 Nov 2003 @ 02:43: Hallu-Ci-Nant!
1 Nov 2003 @ 02:32: Samhain Poem
1 Nov 2003 @ 02:26: ...Merry Samhain!
30 Oct 2003 @ 17:15: Coffee in the Backyard - Chapter 3
22 Oct 2003 @ 13:15: The Muse
28 Sep 2003 @ 18:11: Do Dolphins speak Chinese?
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