 19 May 2010 @ 13:33
MARRIAGE
Wall of flames, bridge of tears.
Snowflake on newly forged links.
For a marriage to last, a couple must go through great travails and
hardships. It is like a process of forging steel links together. The
iron must be heated to a high degree and then plunged into cold water. A
marriage alternates between the heat of passion and love and the
chilling times of tragedy, conflict, and adversity. An enduring marriage
becomes like tempered steel.
It is difficult to go through life alone. We all need support and
the sense of belonging that comes from working toward goals shared with
another. For such a relationship to work, there must be a basic
compatibility of values, outlook, and purpose. It is an inadequate
cliché that husband and wife must be friends as well as lovers. Two
mates can know a loyalty found in no other type of relationship. Yet
even in the face of such strength, Tao reminds us of the need for
moderation.
Ultimately, all relationships are temporary. False attachment to
another can become an addiction, a voluntary bondage detrimental to
clear perception. We should not bind another to ourselves, should not
define ourselves by our marriage, should not force another to stay with
us. But if chance allows us to walk together, who is anyone to challenge
our choice of walking companions?
When it is time to part, then it is time to part. There should be no
regrets. The beauty of marriage is like the fleeting perfection of a
snowflake.
365 Tao: Daily Meditations
Deng Ming-Dao
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