10 Nov 2011 @ 06:48
Finally, another body of research has examined the idea of
“affectionate writing.” It may come as no great surprise to
learn that being in a loving relationship is good for your phys-
ical and psychological health. However, are these benefits the
result of receiving love, expressing love, or both? To find out,
Kory Floyd, from Arizbna State University, and his col-
leagues’8 asked some volunteers to think about someone they
loved and spend twenty minutes writing about why this per-
son meant so much to them. As a control, another group was
asked to write about something that had happened to them
during the past week. Each group repeated the writing exer-
cise three times over the course àf five weeks. Once again, this
simple procedure had a dramatic effect, with those who spent
just a few minutes engaged in affectionate writing showing a
marked increase in happiness, a reduction in stress, and even a
significant decrease in their cholesterol levels.
In short, when it comes to an instant fix for everyday happiness, certain types of writing have a surprisingly quick and
large impact. Expressing gratitude, thinking about a per-
fect future, and affectionate writing have been scientifically
proven to work_—and all they require is a pen, a piece of paper,
and a few moments of your time.
Monday: Thanksgiving
There are many things in your life for which to be grateful.These
might include having close friends, being in a wonderful relationship,
benefiting from sacrifices that others have made for you, being part of
a supportive family, and enjoying good health, a nice home, or enough
food on the table. Alternatively,you might have a job that you love, have
happy memories of the past, or recently have had a nice experience,
such as savoring an especially lovely cup of coffee, enjoying the smile of
a stranger, having your dog welcome you home, eating a great meal, or
stopping to smell the flowers, Think back over the past week and list
three of these things
Tuesday: Terrific Times
Think about one of the most wonderful experiences in your life. Perhaps
a moment when you felt suddenly contented, were in love, listened to
an amazing piece of music, saw an incredible performance, or had a
great time with friends. Choose just one experience and imagine yourself
back in that moment in time. Remember howyou felt and what was going
on around you. Now spend a few moments writing a description of that
experience and howyou felt. Do not worry aboutyour spelling, punctua-
tion, or grammar, Instead, simply commit your thoughts to paper.
Wednesday: Future Fantastic
Spend a few moments writing about your life in the future. Imagine
that everything has gone really well. Be realistic, but imagine that you
have worked hard arid achieved all ofyour aims and ambitions, Imagine
that you have become the person that you really want to be, and that
your personal and professional life feels like a dream come true. All of
this may not help you achieve your goals, but it will helpyou feel good
and put a smile on your face.
Thursday: Dear...
Think about someone in your life who is very important to you. It might
be your partner, a close friend, or a family member. Imagine that you
have only one opportunity to tell this person how important they are to
you. Write a short letter to this person, describing how much you care
for them and the impact that they have had on your life.
Friday: Reviewing the Situation
Think back over the past seven days and make a note of three things
that went really well foryou.The events might be fairly trivial, such as
finding a parking space, or more important, such as being offered a new
job or opportunity. Jot down a sentence about why you think each
event turned out so well.
10 Nov 2011 @ 06:31
When you experience an event that has the potential to make you feel angry.
Try the following exercise to ease the pain and help you move on.
spend a few moments thinking about the positive aspects of the events that you hurful.For example
,did the event help you....
• grow stronger or become aware of personal strengths that you
didn’t realize you had?
• appreciate certain aspects of your life more than before?
• become a wiser person?
• enhance important relationships or end bad ones?
• become more skilled at communicating your feelings?
• bolster your confidence?
• develop into a more compassionate or forgiving person?
• repair and strengthen your relationship ,who with a person who
hurt you?
Identify any of your own shortcomings that may stand in the way of your happiness?
Write down how you have benefited from the experience and how your life is better as a result of what happened. Do not withhold anything and be as honest as possible
26 Oct 2011 @ 15:22
So here’s a list of things he’s done since he’s been in office. Remember: He was elected President. He wasn’t elected Jesus!
The list is still growing. Let me know if I missed anything.
1. Saved the collapse of the American automotive industry by making GM restructure before bailing them out, and putting incentive money to help the industry
2. Shifted the focus of the war from Iraq to Afghanistan, and putting the emphasis on reducing terrorism where it should have been all along
3. Relaxed Anti-American tensions throughout the world
4. Signed order to close the prisoner “torture camp” at Guantanamo Bay
5. Has made the environment a national priority, and a primary source for job creation
6. Has made education a national priority by putting emphasis and money behind new ideas like charter schools, but speaking directly to school children in telling them they have to do their part.
7. Won the Nobel Peace Prize
8. $789 billion economic stimulus plan
9. Appointment of first Latina to the Supreme Court
10. Attractive tax write-offs for those who buy hybrid automobiles
11. Authorized construction/opening of additional health centers to care for veterans
12. Renewed dialogue with NATO and other allies and partners on strategic issues.
13. Beginning the process of reforming and restructuring the military 20 years after the Cold War to a more modern fighting force… this includes new procurement policies, increasing size of military, new technology and cyber units and operations, etc.
14. Better body armor is now being provided to our troops
15. “Cash for clunkers” program offers vouchers to trade in fuel inefficient, polluting old cars for new cars; stimulates auto sales
16. Changed the failing/status quo military command in Afghanistan
17. Closed offshore tax safe havens
18. Deployed additional troops to Afghanistan
19. Ended media “blackout” on war casualties; reporting full information
20. Ended previous policy of awarding no-bid defense contracts
21. . Ended media blackout on war casualties and the return of fallen soldiers to Dover AFB.
22. Ended previous policy of cutting the FDA and circumventing FDA rules
23. Ended previous practice of forbidding Medicare from negotiating with drug manufacturers for cheaper drugs; the federal government is now realizing hundreds of millions in savings
24. Ended previous practice of having White House aides rewrite scientific and environmental rules, regulations, and reports
25. American Recovery and Reinvestment Act has created 2.1 million jobs (as of 12/31/09).
26. Ended previous policy of not regulating and labeling carbon dioxide emissions
27. Ended previous policy of offering tax benefits to corporations who outsource American jobs; the new policy is to promote in-sourcing to bring jobs back
28. Ended previous policy on torture; the US now has a no torture policy and is in compliance with the Geneva Convention standards
29. . Launched Recovery.gov to track spending from the Recovery Act, an unprecedented step to provide transparency and accountability through technology.
30. Ended previous practice of protecting credit card companies; in place of it are new consumer protections from credit card industry’s predatory practices
31. Ended previous “stop-loss” policy that kept soldiers in Iraq/Afghanistan longer than their enlistment date
32. Energy producing plants must begin preparing to produce 15% of their energy from renewable sources
33. Established a National Performance Officer charged with saving the federal government money and making federal operations more efficient
34. Established a new cyber security office
35. Expanded the SCHIP program to cover health care for 4 million more children
36. Expanding vaccination programs
37. Families of fallen soldiers have expenses
38. . Provided the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) with more than $1.4 billion to improve services to America’s Veterans.
39. Federal support for stem-cell and new biomedical research
40. Funds for high-speed, broadband Internet access to K-12 schools
41. Responded with compassion and leadership to the earthquake in Haiti
42. Immediate and efficient response to the floods in North Dakota and other natural disasters
43. . Launched Business.gov – enabling conversation and online collaboration between small business owners, government representatives and industry experts in discussion forums relevant to starting and managing a business. Great for the economy.
44. Improved housing for military personnel
45. Improved conditions at Walter Reed Military Hospital and other military hospitals
46. Changed failing war strategy in Afghanistan.
47. Improving benefits for veterans
48. Increased infrastructure spending (roads, bridges, power plants…) after years of neglect
49. Donated his $1.4 million Nobel Prize to nonprofits.
50. Increasing opportunities in AmeriCorps program
51. Provided tax credits to first-time home buyers through the Worker, Homeownership, and Business Assistance Act of 2009 to revitalize the U.S. housing market.
52. Increasing pay and benefits for military personnel
53. Increasing student loans
54. Instituted a new policy on Cuba, allowing Cuban families to return “home” to visit loved ones
55. Cracked down on companies that deny sick pay, vacation and health insurance to workers by abusing the employee classification of independent contractor. Such companies also avoid paying Social Security, Medicare and unemployment insurance taxes for those workers.
56. Limited salaries of senior White House aides; cut to $100,000
57. Limits on lobbyists’ access to the White House
58. Protected 300,000 education jobs, such as teachers, principals, librarians, and counselors through the Recovery Act that would have otherwise been lost.
59. Limits on White House aides working for lobbyists after their tenure in the administration
60. Children’s Health Insurance Reauthorization Act on February 4, 2009, provides quality health care to 11 million kids – 4 million who were previously uninsured.
61. Lower drug costs for seniors
62. Making more loans available to small businesses
63. Many more press conferences and town halls and much more media access than previous administration
64. . Signed the Christopher and Dana Reeve Paralysis Act, the first piece of comprehensive legislation aimed at improving the lives of Americans living with paralysis
65. Negotiated deal with Swiss banks to permit US government to gain access to records of tax evaders and criminals
66. New Afghan War policy that limits aerial bombing and prioritizes aid, development of infrastructure, diplomacy, and good government practices by Afghans
67. Announced creation of a Joint Virtual Lifetime Electronic Record for members of the U.S. Armed Forces to improve quality of medical care.
68. New federal funding for science and research labs
69. New funds for school construction
70. Ordered all federal agencies to undertake a study and make recommendations for ways to cut spending
71. Ordered a review of all federal operations to identify and cut wasteful spending and practices
72. . Negotiated deal with Swiss banks to permit US government to gain access to records of tax evaders and criminals.
73. Phasing out the expensive F-22 war plane and other outdated weapons systems, which weren’t even used or needed in Iraq/Afghanistan
74. Reengaged in the agreements/talks on global warming and greenhouse gas emissions
75. Provided tax credit to workers thus cutting taxes for 95% of America’s working families.
76. Reengaged in the treaties/agreements to protect the Antarctic
77. Removed restrictions on embryonic stem-cell research
78. . Helped reverse a downward spiral of the stock market. On January 19, 2009, the last day of President Bush’s presidency, the Dow closed at 8,218.22. In February 2010, the Dow closed at 10,309.24
79. Renewed loan guarantees for Israel
80. Restarted the nuclear non-proliferation talks and building back up the nuclear inspection infrastructure/protocols
81. Provided attractive tax write-offs for those who buy hybrid automobiles.
82. Returned money authorized for refurbishment of White House offices and private living quarters
83. Sent envoys to Middle East and other parts of the world that had been neglected for years; reengaging in multilateral and bilateral talks and diplomacy
84. Unveiled a program on Earth Day 2009 to develop the renewable energy projects on the waters of our Outer Continental Shelf that produce electricity from wind, wave, and ocean currents. These regulations will enable, for the first time ever, the nation to tap into our ocean’s vast sustainable resources to generate clean energy in an environmentally sound and safe manner.
85. Signed national service legislation; expanded national youth service program
86. States are permitted to enact federal fuel efficiency standards above federal standards
87. Students struggling to make college loan payments can have their loans refinanced
88. Successful release of US captain held by Somali pirates; authorized the SEALS to do their job
89. The FDA is now regulating tobacco
90. Ended the previous stop-loss policy that kept soldiers in Iraq/Afghanistan longer than their enlistment date.
91. The missile defense program is being cut by $1.4 billion in 2010
92. The public can meet with federal housing insurers to refinance (the new plan can be completed in one day) a mortgage if they are having trouble paying
93. The “secret detention” facilities in Eastern Europe and elsewhere are being closed
94. US financial and banking rescue plan
95. US Navy increasing patrols off Somali coast
96. . Signed the Weapons Systems Acquisition Reform Act to stop fraud and wasteful spending in the defense procurement and contracting system.
97. Visited more countries and met with more world leaders than any president in his first six months in office
98. Improved relations with Iran
99. Improved U.S. policy on climate change
100. Set timetable for exiting Iraq (already started removing troops)
101. Improved relations with Russia
102. Improved relations with the Islamic World
103. Made progress towards greater cooperation on limiting nuclear proliferation
104. Economic stimulus plan has created jobs. (Unemployment rate decreasing)
105. Drastically slowed down the recession
106. Saved Wall Street
107. Passed the Lilly Ledbetter Act (equal work for equal pay) [link]
108. HEALTH CARE REFORM
Once again, this is a lot to accomplish in such a short amount of time. He was elected President, he wasn’t elected Jesus.
25 Oct 2011 @ 13:38
Teenagers who drink large amounts of soft drinks are more likely to be aggressive and violent, US researchers claimed Tuesday.
Drinking more than five cans of soda a week was linked to significantly higher levels of violent assaults, scientists from the University of Vermont found after surveying 1,878 teenagers aged 14 to 18 from 22 schools in Boston.
Participants were asked how many non-diet soft drinks they drank during the past week, with a higher consumption increasing the likelihood of them being violent.
Just over 23 percent of those drinking one or no cans had carried a gun or knife, rising to just under 43 percent of those drinking 14 or more cans.
Writing in the journal Injury Prevention, the researchers suggested that sugar or caffeine could lead to aggression.
"There was a significant and strong association between soft drinks and violence," study leader Sara Solnick said.
Seena Fazel, senior lecturer in forensic psychiatry at the University of Oxford, added, "It does suggest that a trial of an intervention to reduce high soft-drink consumption may be worth considering in high-risk populations."
Critics argued that the study was too simplistic and claimed that social factors were a more likely cause.
23 Oct 2011 @ 07:57
– Neil Patel is a serial entrepreneur that blogs about business at Quick Sprout and is the co-founder of KISSmetrics. The views expressed are his own. –
Steve Jobs will be remembered as one of the greatest visionaries ever. What he did for the technological as well as entrepreneurial world, will never be forgotten.
Although I’m young and haven’t been following Jobs’s career as intently as others, he has taught me a lot about business in the last five years. Here are 11 things I’ll never forget that Steve Jobs taught me:
People Matter, Not Features
Everything Jobs built made life easier for you. It was rare to ever hear him babbling about features he created, instead he focused on how these products made life easier for others.
For example, the iPhone enabled you to talk on your phone, watch movies, record movies, and listen to music. As simple as that may sound, without an iPhone you may have to had to carry around a cell phone, mp3 player, and a video recorder. Because of him your pockets are much lighter.
He taught me, along with many others, not to focus on just adding features or creating products. First and foremost, you need to focus on solving problems that people are experiencing. If you can do that, you’ll stay ahead of the curve.
There’s Nothing Wrong With Pre-Selling
Most companies launch products and then sell them. Jobs didn’t do that with Apple. He let the public know what he was going to sell them, how it solved their problems, and that they could pre-order the product online.
You can do the same thing. Don’t wait for your product or service to be released. Start selling it now. The money you earn today will help cover your costs and it will help solve any cash flow issues you may encounter during distribution.
Keep it Simple, Silly
I switched from a PC to a Mac because Macs are much easier to use. Or at least they are for my dad and 1-year-old nephew. Every Apple product I bought during Steve’s tenure was simple to use.
He also created cool looking devices, but above all else his products were simple to use. For example, the iPad was the first device I was ever able to give my dad that required little to no instruction. There are no shut down or start options, you just click on applications and start using them.
If you want more applications, you just go to the App Store and download them.
Don’t try to make your solutions complicated. Keep it simple… even if that means you have to strip off the bells and whistles. If you aren’t creating usable solutions, it will be harder to gain traction.
Think BIG
If you are in business, you are there to make money. If not, you shouldn’t be an entrepreneur. If you are going to create a business, create one that changes the world.
Apple isn’t just a technology company, Steve Jobs changed the world. His products are used all around the world and by everyone. This is why Apple is the largest company in the world.
You won’t be able to create a big company unless you solve big problems. Although you can make a nice living by conquering a small niche, you wont make billions doing it.
Focus, Focus and Focus Some More
When you look at Apple’s website, it seems like they have a lot of products, right? Well, for being a hundred-billion dollar company, they actually don’t.
Jobs was smart, he always focused his energy on a few big products instead of trying to create thousands of small ones. In other words, he went for big wins instead of looking to hit singles and doubles.
With your business you shouldn’t try to do multiple things. Just focus your time and energy on one product or service. As long as your core business continues to grow, you shouldn’t do anything else. The moment your growth slows down and flattens, that’s when you should expand.
Create an Ecosystem
I never really understood the power of creating a platform until the iPhone was released. When the phenomenon hit the market and companies started to create applications, Apple grew to have a huge ecosystem.
Not only were they selling their products, other companies started to build products on the Apple platform and their customers were encouraged to buy and use Apple products.
By this point Apple didn’t have to sell their products, other companies were doing it for them.
Steve Jobs created an ecosystem and he was able to do it around Apple products. If you want to grow a brilliant idea, you have to create an ecosystem for that idea to flourish.
There’s Always Room for Innovation
The iPod wasn’t the first mp3 player. There were hundreds of others that were already out before Apple released the iPod. That didn’t discourage Jobs from entering the space… he just one upped everyone by creating a better product.
These days if you are looking to buy a music player, the first thing comes to your mind is the iPod, right? And what’s the second brand that comes to your mind?
Ummmmm…
That’s right, they demolished all of their competitors. The only other device that I can think of is the Zune, which kind of sucks.
Don’t be afraid to enter a saturated market… you just have to be willing to stir things up. If you can innovate, you will win. If you decide to create another me-too company, expect to be crushed.
Be Passionate
Did you know that Steve Jobs had a salary of $1 a year? That’s right, he didn’t care for money and he stated it publicly. He cared about the company, their products, and changing peoples’ lives.
If you love what you are doing, you are going to work harder and be more likely to succeed. Heck, Jobs even worked hard when he was sick… that’s how much he loved what he was doing.
Don’t just do things for the money, do things because you love what you are doing. You aren’t going to live forever, so enjoy your life while you can.
Never Lose Your Investors Money
Although Steve Jobs wasn’t the CEO throughout all of Apple’s history, he always took care of the company. He came back, and turned the company around. In other words, he grew shareholder money and took care of his investors.
As I stated earlier, Apple is the biggest company in the world. It’s very difficult to create a decent size company without taking money from investors… so make sure you take care of them. And if you do so, they’ll always take care of you.
Another great leader who also has a very similar rule is Warren Buffett. If you can take care of the people who are feeding you, they’ll constantly be willing to reciprocate.
You’re Nothing Without Your Team
Apple has a ton of benefits: from onsite fitness centers to tuition assistance, they even have cafeterias with organic food. Why did they do all of this? To take care of their employees.
A big part of being a good leader is realizing that you have to have a good team. It’s impossible to do everything yourself. If you don’t take care of your employees and show your appreciation, you’ll quickly lose them.
If you take care of your employees they’ll put their blood, sweat and tears into your company.
Don’t Forget About Your Friends and Family
As an entrepreneur when you work so hard for so many years, you tend to forget about your friends and family. All you do is live, sleep and breathe business.
At the end of the day, there is nothing wrong with that, but you also have to spend time with your friends and family. Money will always be there, but your friends and family won’t.
When Steve Jobs got sick, he left Apple to spend his final moments with his friends and family. He knew what was important to him. You too need to figure out what’s important to you no matter how much time your business or job takes from your life, don’t forget about what’s important.
Conclusion
It’s tragic that Steve Jobs passed away during his prime. He was a great entrepreneur and leader. We’ll never forget what he did for this world.
My condolences go out to his family and friends and may he rest in peace.
Feel free to share any lessons you’ve learned from Steve Jobs. More >
18 Oct 2011 @ 17:54
ll Christian books are worthy of your investment, but it is better if you will have the best Christian books. Christian books are written by popular Christian writers and leaders around the world. You can choose international or local Christian books.
There are lots of options especially if you want the best Christian books ever written. It is better to hunt for these kinds of books in specialized Christina bookstores in your area. You can also locate these books on the web. There are popular Christian bookstores on the internet. All you have to do is to search the net by using different search engine such as Yahoo and Google.
If you want to have the top ten best Christian books, you need to search for the list first and locate some online bookstores. You simply need to type the title plus the author of the book. Majority if online bookstores nowadays are offering great discounts for all their consumers. Here are the lists of top ten best Christian books you need to have:
1.Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis this books will touch your heart and you will be blessed by the Holy Spirit as you read. This is the main reason why this book falls on this lists. It is meant for all people who have genuine desire to become better Christians and who also need to draw closer to Jesus Christ.
2.My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers this book will create a great impact in your life. After reading this book, you will never forget its lessons for life.
3. The Imitation of Christ by Thomas á Kempis this book is about intense passion and love for Christ. If you want to increase you faith in God you must read this book.
4.Pilgrim s Progress by John Bunyan this is about the journey of a protagonist Christian.
5.The Confessions of St. Augustine by St. Augustine this is one of the greatest autobiographies ever written.
6.The Complete Works of E. M. Bounds on Prayer this book tells about the unfailing works of God in our life.
7.The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonheoffer the book will tell you about the relationship between you and the teaching of Jesus. This book is perfect for first time believers.
8.Celebration of Discipline by Richard J. Foster this spiritual guide book sold over a million copies worldwide. Many believers who have read it say that it was the best book of the twentieth century.
9.The Kingdom of the Cults by Walter Martin this was the leading reference book to people who wants to study cult culture.
10. I Don't Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist by Norman Geisler & Frank Turek this will help all atheists to have different perspective in life and God. It can'turn every atheist towards worshiping God.
These top ten best Christian books will benefit all Christians. You can still discover more. Grow your faith in God and Jesus as you read these wonderful books.
8 Oct 2011 @ 06:12
Paul McCartney, himself an avowed Macintosh devotee, has issued a statement saying he was privileged to know Steve Jobs.
"Steve was a great creative artist. He was also a loving husband and father and I feel privileged to have known him," he said in the statement issued on his website.
"I enjoyed his quick sense of humour and his love of music. He came to quite a few of our concerts and it was always a pleasure to see him bopping on the sidelines. I once said to him that he must be extremely proud of what he had done. He agreed but said he was even prouder of what he had not done."
McCartney ended his statement by calling him, "A great man who will be missed by me and many others."
Jobs was a Beatles fan and praised McCartney and the Beatles when iTunes announced last year the Beatles would be featured on the service.
Continue reading on Examiner.com Paul McCartney says knowing Steve Jobs was a privilege - National Beatles | Examiner.com [link]More >
5 Oct 2011 @ 17:16
Introduction
The following are simple, yet powerful practices that can give you new ways of looking at your life circumstances, and in that, create new possibilities for making choices that will bring you greater alignment with your personal integrity. These exercises are developments of "The Work(TM)" which Byron Katie offers in seminars to provide clarity of mind and honesty of heart which ultimately leads to peace.
1. Reversing Judgements
Practice noticing when you judge or criticize someone or something. For example, in a grocery store line, you might be impatient and think the person in front of you is disorganized and rude. Quickly turn your judgment around and ask yourself: "Is it just as true about me? Am I rude? (Am I rude sometimes; to others - or to myself?) Am I being rude inside of me when I think they are rude?"
This exercise takes your attention off the "other" and places your attention on you. Forgiveness naturally results. Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience; taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them.
Remember, beyond the appearance of who it is you are looking at, it is always God disguised, standing in front of you so that you can know yourself. Reversing judgments allows complete forgiveness. Forgiveness leads to awareness of one’s self, and reestablishes personal integrity.
2. The Three Kinds of Business
Notice when you hurt that you are mentally out of your business. If you’re not sure, stop and ask, "Mentally, whose business am I in?" There are only three kinds of business in the universe, mine, yours, and God’s. Simple! Whose business is it if an earthquake happens? God’s business. Whose business is it if your neighbor down the street has an ugly lawn? Your neighbor’s business. Whose business is it if you are angry at your neighbor down the street because they have an ugly lawn? Your business. Life is simple, it is internal.
So, count, in five minute intervals, how many times you are in someone else’s business mentally. Notice when you give uninvited advice or offer your opinion about something (aloud or silently). Ask yourself: "Am I in their business? Did they ask me for my advice?" And more importantly, "Can I take the advice I am offering and apply it to my life?"
3. Being in Nobody’s Business
After working with the practice of staying out of other’s business, try to stay out of your own business as well. Hold lightly whatever you think you know about yourself. "I am contained within this physical body. Is it really true? Can I really know that it’s true? What do I get by holding that belief?" There is a widespread belief that we are our bodies, and we will die. "Who would I be without the belief?"
4. "Detaching" from Your Body/Your Story
Try speaking about yourself, for a period of time, in third person, rather than as I or me. Instead of saying, "I’m going to lunch", say "She’s going to lunch", (referring to yourself), or "This one is going to lunch." Do this with a friend for an hour, the afternoon, or the entire day. Eliminate the use of all personal pronouns (I, me, we). Refer to yourself and the other in third person. For example, "How is that one (or this one) today? Does he want to go to the park?" Experience impersonally the body, the stories and the preferences which you think you are.
5. Speaking in the Present Tense
Become mindful of how often your conversations focus on the past or future. Be aware of the verbs you use: was, did, will, are going to, etc. To speak of the past in the present is to reawaken and recreate it fully in the present, if only in our minds, and then we are lost to what is present for us now. To speak of the future is to create and live with what is but a fantasy in our minds. If you want to experience fear, think of the future. If you want to experience shame and guilt, think of the past.
6. Doing the Dishes
"Doing the dishes" is a practice of learning to love the action that is in front of you. Your inner voice or intuition guides you all day long to do simple things such as doing the dishes, driving to work or sweeping the floor. Allow the sanctity of simplicity. Listening to your inner voice and then acting on its suggestions with implicit trust creates a life that is more graceful, effortless and miraculous.
7. Listening to the Voice of the Body
The body is the voice of your mind, and it speaks to you in physical movement as muscular contractions - as twitches, twinges, tickles and tension, just to name a few. Become aware of how often you move away from peace or stillness. Practise stillness and let your body speak to you of where your mind contracts, no matter how subtle the flickering contraction may be. When you notice a sensation, inquire within, "What situation or contracted thought is triggering this physical sensation? Am I out of alignment with my integrity in this circumstance, and if so, where? Am I willing to let go of this belief or thought that causes my body to contract?" Listen and allow the answers to guide you, and return to the peace and clarity within.
8. Reporting to Yourself
This exercise can help in healing fear and terror. Practice reporting events to yourself as if a circumstance you find yourself in is actually a news story and you are the roving reporter. Announce exactly what your surroundings are and what’s happening "on the scene" at that very moment. Fear is always the result of projecting a re-creation of the past into the now or the future. If you find yourself fearful, find the core belief and inquire: "Is this really true that I need to be fearful in this situation? What is actually happening right now, physically? Where is my body (hands, arms, feet, legs, head)? What do I see (trees, walls, windows, sky)?"
Impersonalising our stories gives us an opportunity to look at circumstances more objectively, and choose our responses to what life brings. Living in our minds, believing our untrue thoughts is a good way to scare ourselves to death, and it can appear in form as old age, cancer, degeneration, high blood pressure, etc.
9. Literal Hearing
Practise listening to others in the most literal sense, believing exactly what they say, and do your best to resist falling into your own interpretations about the information they share with you.
For example, someone might compliment you on how beautiful you are, and you interpret that as an implication that the person has ulterior motives. Our interpretations of what we hear people say to us are often far more painful or frightening than what people actually say. We can hurt ourselves with our misconceptions and our thinking for others. Try trusting that what they say is exactly what they mean: not more, not less. Hear people out. Catch yourself when you want to finish a sentence for someone either aloud or in your mind. Listen. It can be amazing to hear what comes out when we allow others to complete their thoughts without interruption. And, when we are busy thinking we know what they are about to say, we are missing what they are actually saying.
You might want to consider these questions: "What can be threatened if I listen and hear literally? Do I interrupt because I don’t want to really know what they have to say? Do I interrupt to convince them I know more than they do? Am I attempting to portray an image of self-confidence and control? Who would I be without the need to possess those qualities? Is there a fear of appearing unintelligent? Would people leave me if I heard them literally, and no longer engage in manipulative games?"
10. Speaking Honestly and Literally
Speak literally. Say what you mean without justification, without any desire to manipulate, and without concern about how another may interpret your words. Practice not being careful. Experience the freedom this brings.
11. Watching the Play
See yourself in a balcony, watching your favorite drama about you and what distresses you. Watch the story on the stage below. Notice how you have seen this drama performed hundreds, perhaps thousands of times. Watch this until you find yourself becoming bored. The performers are having to exaggerate their parts to keep your attention. Notice when you get honest with your boredom, you get up from your seat, leave the balcony, exit the playhouse and step outside. Always know you can re-visit. Who would you be without your story?
12. Watching a Second Version of the Play
Write your story from the eyes and mind of another. Write as many different versions with as many different outcomes as you like. Notice what you notice.
13. Exercising Polarity
If you find yourself dwelling on a negative thought, practice going to the opposite positive extreme or polarity. When you catch yourself slipping back into negativity, choose again to return to the positive polarity and be present with your conscious choice; feel the truth of it. There is only love, and what doesn’t appear as love is a disguised call for love. It is your birthright to live in the positive polarity of love and truth.
14. Self Loving Process
Make a list of everything you love about someone and share it with them. Then, give yourself everything that is on the list. You may also recognize that what you love about someone else is just as true of you. Then allow the fullness of it to be expressed in your life.
15. Coming from Honesty
Practice moving and responding honestly. Laugh, cry, scream, and speak as it is genuinely true for you in each moment. Be a child again; act in full integrity with your feelings. Don’t let beliefs compromise your integrity. For example, practise leaving a room honestly without manipulating those you leave behind with a polite excuse. Live your truth without explaining yourself.
16. Asking for What You Want - Giving Yourself What You Want
Ask for what you want, even though it may feel bold or awkward. People don’t know what you want until you ask them. The act of asking is a validation of the awareness that you deserve to have what you want. If others are unable or unwilling to accommodate your request, give it to yourself.
17. Awareness of You
Recognize that the one in front of you is you. Beyond all appearances and personalities is the essence of goodness, which is you. Remembering your presence in all form will bring you immediately into the present moment, in awe of the fullness therein. The person before you will become an opportunity to know yourself. The heart overflows with love and gratitude, humbly saying, "Oh yes, this person or situation is here for me to learn about who I am."
18. Self Gratitude
For a simple twenty-four hours, stop looking outside yourself for validation. On the other side of that you become the experience of gratitude.
19. The Vanity Mirror
If you want to see who you are not, look in the mirror. Use the mirror once a day only. Who would you be without your mirror?
20. Beyond Justification
Begin to notice how often you explain or justify yourself, your words, actions, decisions, etc. Who are you trying to convince? And what is the story you are perpetuating? Become aware of your use of the word "because" or "but" when you speak. Stop your sentence immediately. Begin again. Justification is an attempt to manipulate the other person; decide to be still and know, and BE CAUSE.
21. The Gift of Criticism
Criticism is an incredible opportunity to grow. Here are some steps on how to receive criticism and benefit from it. When someone says you are "wrong, terrible, sloppy", etc, say, either in your mind, or aloud to that person, "Thank you". This thought immediately puts you in a space where you’re available to hear and to use the information in a way that can serve you.
After the criticism, ask yourself, "Do I hurt?" If the answer is "yes", then know somewhere within you, you believe the criticism also. Knowing this gives you the opportunity to heal that portion which you find unacceptable within yourself.
If you want to cease to be vulnerable to criticism, then heal the criticisms. That is the ultimate power in letting go of every concept. Being vulnerable means you can no longer be manipulated for there is no place for criticism to stick. This is freedom
29 Sep 2011 @ 09:45
Here are 4 simple rules to experience great happiness and true freedom:
1. Be interested in who you are not.Part of being truly happy and free is being interested in the mystery of all that we are not.
Becoming clearer about who we are not allows us to de-layer, empty, and let go of the conditioning that doesn’t serve us. We come closer to touching our true essence, our absolute nature.
I’ve discovered pieces of who I am not at various stages of my life.
Like when I had spiritual experiences and labeled myself a “spiritual person,” only to discover I cared a great deal more about what it means to be my best as a human.
Or when I wanted to be a teacher because I wanted to feel like I had “arrived,” yet overlooked the benefits of lifelong learning.
Or when I published my first book, sent it out into the world, and realized the many years I committed to it were over. Almost the next day after my book release, I felt the call to explore something new and write my next book on an almost entirely different subject.
It’s about having a shift in perception and letting go of what we thought we were but no longer are.
Even though you may not have a direct answer when you contemplate who you are not, it’s still worthy. It may encourage you to keep being interested in the exploration of you, to investigate the mystery of yourself, to hear your greater call and listen.
2. Don’t take things too seriously.Real happiness and freedom come when we remind ourselves to lighten up, to not take our reactions, feelings, desires, or thoughts that feel important so seriously.
Try not to hold onto your present experience for dear life, because it will change. I try to observe when I use my present experience to build myself up, or manipulate it to show me in a certain light, or try to make something more out of it than it is.
Every once in a while, laugh a little at yourself, at the funny workings of your mind, how silly they can become when you take things oh-too-seriously, and keep a sense of humor.
3. Be true to yourself.On average, Americans have approximately 3–5 careers a lifetime. Why is this so?
Because we are constantly evolving, constantly changing, constantly learning more about ourselves. We wear a hat, try it on, get a degree, a promotion, commit years, weeks and hours and then realize there is something else we want that feels more in alignment with who we really are.
Somewhere, somehow we were taught that life shouldn’t change, that no one really changes, that we are the same person now that we were as an infant. And in some sense this is true.
We came into this world without any of the conditioning we developed in the years to follow. We were pure—brought into this world with a certain DNA that had a purpose and the trick is to discover it.
The more we are true to ourselves, the closer we are to happiness and freedom.
4. Have the courage to live life fully.What if you lived life fully? Engaged your dreams fully? Didn’t cheat it and just went for it?
What if you kept finding your edge? Stopped playing it safe and stretched a step beyond your comfort zone?
What if it didn’t matter what will happen later because you know that it will change?
And this is where I get a little heavy, but only for a moment for this too will change. As humans we know our lives will eventually end. Whatever comes into being will go out of being. Nothing in life is permanent. What we think we have will go away.
So, with this in mind, dive in to this thing called life. Live freely and creatively. Reach for the stars and meet your dreams. Since everything is changing anyway, we truly have nothing to lose.
28 Sep 2011 @ 23:38
Get a Clue: Identify the root cause of what’s eating at you. Write down everything that you’re worried about — from little to big worries, even the mediocre ones. Don’t judge yourself; just write down everything that’s in your head.
Get a Grip: Acknowledge what is and what is not in your power. Sort the worries into three columns: things that you can’t do anything about, things you can do something about, and things you’re not really sure you can do anything about. As an example, Rossman uses hurricanes: you can prepare your house for a hurricane (a worry you can do something about), but you can’t do anything about the actual hurricane (a worry you can’t do something about).
Get a Plan: Figure out what you need to do and how you need to get it. For worries you can’t do anything about, Rossman suggests learning how to make them positive, rather than negative. “if you’re about to hit a golf ball and there’s a lake, you don’t want to be worrying about hitting the ball in the lake, because then you’ve created a mental image of just the lake,” Rossman says. “You want to identify a spot and tell yourself that you’re going to hit the ball there, instead of thinking about the lake.” When you put your intention into a positive situation, your negative thoughts will wane.
Get a Move-On: Put your plan into action. Continue to focus on positive outcomes. To help with the worries in your can-do-something column, Rossman suggests learning to take effective action through guided imagery and good planning skills
16 Sep 2011 @ 01:44
A new study by researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, has concluded that up to half of Alzheimer’s cases worldwide and in the US may be attributable to seven risk factors that are potentially preventable through simple lifestyle changes, such as exercising, using your brain, quitting smoking and losing weight.
The new study, by Dr Deborah E Barnes PhD and colleagues at the University of California, San Francisco, is published online in the July 19, 2011 issue of The Lancet Neurology, a British medical journal. It was presented on July 19 at the Alzheimer’s Association International Conference in Paris.
In an introduction to their study report the authors note that, “At present, about 33.9 million people worldwide have Alzheimer’s disease (AD), and prevalence is expected to triple over the next 40 years.” “Given the current absence of disease-modifying treatments, as well as increasing awareness that symptoms develop over many years or even decades, there has been growing interest in identification of effective strategies for prevention of AD [Alzheimer's disease],” the authors wrote.
Their research showed that a 25% reduction in all seven risk factors they studied could potentially prevent as many as 3 million cases of Alzheimer’s worldwide over the next 40 years, the authors reported. A 10% reduction in these seven factors could prevent 1.1 million cases, they said.
The seven risk factors isolated by the researchers include:
Physical inactivity
Cognitive Inactivity or Low Educational Attainment
Smoking
Mid-life Obesity
Mid-life High Blood Pressure
Diabetes
Depression
The Study and Its Principal Findings
In the study, the researchers reviewed previous research examining factors that predispose people to developing Alzheimer’s. Based on their review, they identified the seven factors listed above, which are potentially within a person’s control to change.
They identified the following three factors as the greatest contributors to development of Alzheimer’s Disease:
1. Cognitive Inactivity or Low Educational Attainment. They found that the factor contributing to the largest number of cases of Alzheimer’s worldwide was lack of mental activity or low educational attainment. They defined low educational attainment as not having completing higher education, having a low IQ or not participating in mentally stimulating leisure time activities. This factor contributes to 19 percent of Alzheimer’s cases, or 6.5 million cases worldwide, they reported.
The researchers said that enhancing mental activity could make the biggest difference toward preventing Alzheimer’s.
2. Smoking. The factor contributing to the second-highest number of cases was smoking. The research showed that smoking contributes to 14 percent of cases, or 4.7 million cases of Alzheimer’s worldwide.
3. Physical Inactivity. Physical inactivity, the study found, contributed to 13 percent of worldwide cases and was the third-largest factor worldwide. However, physical inactivity was the highest contributor to Alzheimer’s in the United States — contributing to 21 percent, or 1.1 million cases.
“What really mattered was how common the risk factors were in the population. In the U.S.A., about a third of the population is sedentary, so a large number of Alzheimer’s cases are potentially attributable to physical inactivity,” said Dr. Barnes, the study’s principal author.
“Worldwide, low education was more important, because so many people throughout the world are illiterate or are not educated beyond elementary school,” Dr. Barnes said.
Implications of the Study
The authors caution that it has not yet been proved that these factors actually cause Alzheimer’s. The cause of Alzheimer’s remains unclear; like heart disease, it may be caused by a combination of factors.
“Accumulated evidence from epidemiological research strongly supports a role for lifestyle and cardiovascular risk factors in the pathogenesis and development of dementia. However, none of these factors has been proven to have a causal relation specifically with AD,” wrote researchers Laura Fratiglioni, from the Karolinska Institute in Sweden, and Chengxuan Qiu, from the Stockholm Gerontology Research Center, in an editorial accompanying the new study in the July 19 issue of The Lancet Neurology.
However, the findings suggest “that preventive and therapeutic interventions have great potential,” they said.
The clear association of the seven lifestyle-related factors with cases of Alzheimer’s, as found by the study, gives hope that modifying them may reduce one’s risk of Alzheimer’s.
According to Dr. Barnes, the study’s principal author, “It gives us a little bit of hope about things we could do now about the epidemic that is coming our way.”
The study suggests that public health initiatives to increase physical activity levels throughout life as well as to help people quit smoking and lose weight could help dramatically in decreasing the number of Alzheimer’s cases. The findings indicate that Alzheimer’s cases could be reduced if people enhanced their mental activity, quit smoking, increased their physical activity, controlled their blood pressure and diabetes, and managed their obesity and depression.
“A 10 – 25% reduction in all seven risk factors could potentially prevent as many as 1.1 — 3·0 million AD cases worldwide and 184,000 – 492,000 cases in the USA,” the authors wrote.
Finding a way to reduce one’s risk of developing Alzheimer’s is increasingly significant. It has been reported that half of all people over age 85, an estimated 5.4 million Americans, now have Alzheimer’s or some form of dementia, and the numbers are increasing in epidemic proportions as the Baby Boom Generation ages. Nearly 15 million Americans are now caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s Disease or another form of dementia, according to statistics released by the Alzheimer’s Association.
By the year 2050, Alzheimer’s cases are expected to rise to 106 million around the world. The disease has no cure, and at this time, no treatments exist to prevent the disease. As reported by the Alzheimer’s Association, every 69 seconds someone in the U.S. now develops Alzheimer’s, which is the 6th leading cause of death in the U.S., and the only one for which no effective treatment to cure the disease yet exists
12 Sep 2011 @ 14:46
The "Seven Steps to Calmness" is a way to talk and walk yourself through any upset you're experiencing and at least make things a little bit better instead of worse. Surely, you will notice the pattern -- it's all about awareness, and awareness at progressively deeper levels:
1.Physical Awareness. When you're feeling in distress after a trauma, think to yourself, "I am physically feeling [what] in my [where in your body]." For example, "lightheaded and sick to my stomach."
2.Emotional Awareness. "Emotionally, I feel [angry? frustrated? scared? sad? disappointed? hurt? upset?] and my [emotion] is really [level of intensity]. For example, "I'm scared out of my wits and more scared than I can ever remember feeling in my life."
3.Impulse Awareness. "Feeling [physical feeling] and [emotional feeling], and feeling it so [the level of intensity], makes me want to [impulse]." For example, "run away and hide."
4.Consequence Awareness. "If I act on that impulse, the most likely immediate consequence will be ____, and a longer-term consequence will be ____. For example, "I will probably feel even more out of control and even more hopeless."
5.Reality Awareness. "While I am holding off (for now) on acting on that impulse, a different and perhaps more accurate perception of what is going on might be [seeing the world as it actually is] which can further help choose a more effective response." For example, "Sure, these circumstances may have changed my life forever, but that doesn't mean my life is over."
6.Solution Awareness. "A better thing for me to do instead would be to [fill in an alternate behavior and what you could imagine doing to achieve those outcomes]. For example, "I can learn to accept and adapt to life never being the same again and I can start by interacting (vs. withdrawing) with others. We can comfort each other and think together about what we can do now vs. focusing on what we can't. We can each commit to doing something positive to achieve our desired outcome."
7.Benefit Awareness. "If I try that solution, the benefit to me immediately will be [fill in the immediate benefit]. For example, "I'll begin to feel more in control and less helpless or hopeless."
As an alternative to talking yourself through this series of questions, you can always imagine doing the exercise with someone who cares or cared about you (I sometimes imagine my deceased parents or former mentors taking me through the seven steps).
Why do the "Seven Steps to Calming" work? I view trauma as a horrendous and horrifying event that splits apart the thinking, feeling and acting parts of your personality. When that happens, you feel the next step will be for you to shatter, or what some patients describe as "fragmenting." At that point, you begin to panic.
The "Seven Steps to Calming" works because it reconnects the thinking, feeling and acting parts of your personality. More than that, it enables you to adapt to the reality of what is, as opposed what no longer is. One patient told me it felt like suturing their personality back together again.
The "tipping points" of the calming are the fifth step, "Reality Awareness," the sixth step, "Solution Awareness", and the seventh step, "Benefit Awareness," because those are the three steps that reframe your perception of the world and push you into taking positive action. Taking action into life is essential to recovery. It's only when you take action that you create a new memory. Thoughts alone do not create new memories as profoundly as actions taken. New memories are important in order to dilute out the impact of the horrendous traumatic ones. If you don't create new memories through action, you can remain stuck.
To help reinforce this, imagine looking at the rings of a 100-year-old tree that has been cut. Each ring represents a year. The ring from a year of drought looks different than that of a year of rain than that of a year of floods than that of a year of fires. All put together, they give the tree character, and each ring is less important than all of them put together, which is the life of that tree (kind of makes you wish someone hadn't cut it).
Applying this to your life, if 2011 is the year of an awful disaster, when you keep acting into life, 2012 could become the year you met the love of your life, had a child, moved into a new home or a job you love. And although the disaster of 2011 doesn't go away, the life you live after it dilutes its impact on you.
The "Seven Steps to Calming" is also a great tool to teach your children to help them overcome setbacks, disappointments and to master stress, and for them to internalize a way of pausing, calming and centering themselves when they hit obstacles later on in life.
"Just because you're afraid, doesn't mean you are in danger, but until your body and emotions listen to what your mind is trying to tell you, you won't believe it."
4 Sep 2011 @ 13:11
Do new things
Go wine tastings, go diving, I don't know. Do something new. Don't make life a time-serving routine.
Sleep well
Have at least 8 hours of sleep a day. It's difficult but c'mon, get some discipline. Too many studies have shown that sleep is important.
Do sport
A bit obvious, though many people skip this. Your brain is part of your body and if your body is in shape, it'll help your brain be in shape.
Eat the right food
A Ferrari won't go far if you poor water in. Eating the right food will massively help your brain on the long term. Read more about it here.
Be curious
Question everything, all the time. Learn about things that are unrelated to your profession.
Write about you
Make a journal about your life. Read old entries. It's surprising how much perspective it'll give you and activate your brain in unexpected ways.
Listen to music
Listening to music will help you relax and enjoy it. Stop the music if you have to concentrate.
Read
Don't just read your friend's activities on Facebook. Read books and newspapers.
Take time to play
Not everybody likes games but everybody likes to play. Play socially or alone.
Make friends
Strong emotional bonding increases your brain power, as well as socialising
Try scent activation
This is a technique that with time will allow you to achieve a higher state of creative consciousness. Simply create a strong aroma whenever you need to concentrate and be creative.
1 Sep 2011 @ 14:47
There's no better feeling than checking something off your to-do list. Done! Finished! Mission accomplished! Yet it's so easy to let a whole day or week go by without knocking one task off your list. How does that happen? Well, your to-do list can be a tool that guides you through your work, or it can be a big fat pillar of undone time bombs taunting you and your unproductive inadequacy. It all depends on how you write it.
The following is an excerpt from Lifehacker: The Guide to Working Smarter, Faster and Better, available at Amazon and bookstores everywhere.
Think of your to-do list as an instruction set your Boss self gives your Assistant self. Like a good computer program, if the instructions are clear, specific, and easily carried out, you're golden. If not, you'll get undesirable results, such as fear, procrastination, and self-loathing. Read on for a closer look at how to write a to-do list that makes getting your stuff done dead-simple.
You Are the Boss of You
At any point during the workday, you are in one of two modes: thinking mode (that's you with the Boss hat on) and action mode (that's you with the Personal Assistant hat on). When a project or task comes up, the steps you need to take start to form in your mind. Now you're in thinking/Boss mode - the guy/gal who gives the orders. Your to-do list is a collection of those orders, which your Assistant personality will later pick up and do.
When you're wearing your Boss hat, it's up to you to write down the instructions in such a way that your Assistant self can just do them without having to think - or stress. Taking the thinking out of the acting is one of the best ways to make your to-do list a cinch to finish off.
How to Order Yourself Around
When it's time to add something to your to-do list, think it through using the following guidelines.
Only Put Items on the List That You're Definitely Doing
Sometimes you think of tasks you're just not ready to do yet. Maybe learning a new language - while it's an eventual goal - just doesn't fit into your life right now. Maybe upgrading the website is low priority because your business is shifting gears in a major way, and any site overhaul will look very different - or maybe won't be needed - in six months.
Instead of letting tasks you're not quite committed to loiter on your to-do list until you're sick of looking at them (and sick of the reminder that you're not quite there yet), move them off to a separate list, a holding area for Someday/Maybe items. You'd tell your assistant to do something only if you absolutely, positively want it done, so only concrete actions you're committed to completing should live on your to-do list.
Break It Down
The quickest route to a task you'll actively avoid working on: Make it a vague monstrosity. Put a nonspecific item such as "Clean out the office" on your to-do list, and I guarantee that's the last thing you'll ever start working on. Actually, "Clean out the office" isn't a to-do at all; it's a project. Author of Getting Things Done David Allen says projects are not tasks; projects are collections of tasks. That's an important distinction. Internalize it, because your to-do list is not your project list. Don't add multi-action tasks to it, such as "Clean out the office." Break projects down to smaller, easier-to-tackle subtasks, such as "Purge filing cabinet," "Shred old paperwork," and "Box up unneeded books for library drive." Your Assistant self will ask, "What do you want done?" and when Boss you says, "Clean out the office," that won't get you anywhere.
The smaller and more atomic these subtasks are, the more doable they are. Inspirational writer SARK breaks down her tasks into five-minute increments, and calls them "micromovements." She writes, "Micromovements are tiny, tiny little steps you can take toward completions in your life. I'm a recovering procrastinator and I have a short attention span, so I invented micromovements as a method of completing projects in time spans of 5 minutes or less. I always feel like I can handle almost anything for 5 minutes!"
Coming up with those tiny tasks requires thinking up front, when you're putting the task on your list. The following examples contrast vague to-do's (the kind that can throw up roadblocks) next to their doable counterparts.
Roadblock To-Dos Doable To-Dos
Find a new dentist. Email Jayne and ask what dentist she goes to.
Replace the broken glass table top. Measure the table dimensions. Call San Diego Glass at 555-6789 with dimensions.
Learn Italian. Check U of Whatever's website (whatever.edu) for fall Italian class offerings.
Upgrade website. Draft a list of five website upgrades.
As you can see, breaking down your tasks into next actions creates more than one task for items that look like regular to-do's but turn out to be small projects. For example, replacing the broken glass table top involves measuring the table, calling and ordering a replacement, and possibly going to pick it up, which brings us to the next guideline.
Focus Only on the Next Action
When you have a multi-action task - such as replacing the glass table top - keep only its next sequential action on your to-do list. When the task is complete, refer to your project list (again, separate from to-do's) and add its next action to your to-do list. At any given moment, your to-do list should contain only the next logical action for all your working projects. That's it - just one bite-sized step in each undertaking.
Imagine that you're at your desk, you have a spare 10 minutes before a meeting, and you pull out the preceding roadblock to-do list. Can you find a dentist or learn Italian? No. But you could get an item done from the doable list. You could email a friend about a dentist referral, or check the university website for fall class offerings.
Use Specific, Active Verbs
When you tell yourself to do something, make it an order. An item such as "Acme account checkup" doesn't tell you what has to be done. Make your to-do's specific actions, such as "Phone Rob at Acme re: Q2 sales." Notice I didn't use the word Contact; I used Phone. Contact could mean phone, email, or IM, but when you take out all the thinking and leave in only action, your verbs will be as specific as possible. Literally imagine instructing a personal assistant on her first day on the job as to what you need done.
Include as Much Information as Possible
When formulating a to-do, the onus is on your Boss self to make it as easy as possible for your Assistant self to get the job done. For example, if you have to make a phone call, include the name or number. Instead of "Donate old furniture," assign yourself "Call Goodwill to schedule pickup, 555-9878." When you're stuck in the doctor's waiting room for 20 minutes with only your cell phone, you can't donate your old furniture, but you sure can make a phone call - if you have the number. Be a good Boss. Arm your Assistant self with all the details she needs to get your work done.
Keep Your List Short
Just as no one wants to look at an email inbox with 2,386 messages in it, no one wants to have an endless to-do list. It's overwhelming and depressing, as though there's no light at the end of the tunnel. Instead, keep your to-do list under 20 items. (This morning, mine's only 17 tasks long, and I call myself a busy person.) Does that sound like too short a list? Remember, your to-do list isn't a dumping ground for project details, or "Someday I'd like to" items. These are tasks you've committed to completing in the near future, such as the next two weeks. Keep your projects and someday/maybe items elsewhere. Your to-do list should be short, to-the-point commitments that involve no more deciding as to whether you're actually serious about doing them.
Prioritize Your Tasks
Although your to-do list might have 20 items on it, the reality is that you're going to get only a couple done per day (assuming that you're not writing down things like "get up, shower, make coffee, go to work...." - and you shouldn't be). So make sure the most important tasks are at the very top of your list. How you do this depends on what tool or software you use to track your to-do's, but do make sure you can see at a glance what you need to get done next.
Keep Your List Moving
Although my to-do list is only 20 items or so, it's 20 items that change every day. Every day, two to five tasks get checked off, and two to five tasks get added. Remember, your to-do list is a working document, not some showy testament to organization that quietly gathers dust because you're off doing real work that's not written down anywhere.
Purge and Update Your List Weekly
In addition to sorting by priority, you should sort your list by age. What items have been on your list the longest? Chances are you have mental blockage around the tasks that have been sitting around forever, and they need to be reworded or broken down further. Or perhaps they don't need to get done after all. (Remember! Deleting an item from your to-do list is even better than checking it off, because you've saved the time and effort of actually doing it.)
Just as a manager would meet with her staff members once a week, schedule a 20-minute meeting with yourself every Friday or Monday to review your to-do list, project list, and someday/maybe list. Use that time to rewrite any items that aren't broken down as much as they should be, purge irrelevant items, and move next actions from your project list to your to-do list.
This short, weekly ritual can make you feel more on top of your game than ever. It focuses your energy and weeds out any detritus that accumulated over the past week.
Log Your Completed Tasks
As any good assistant does, you want to show the boss exactly how much you accomplished. Make sure you stow your done items somewhere so that you can revel in your own productivity and even refer to past work activities. Your "done" list is a great indicator of whether your to-do list is working. If more than two days go by without a new done item, it's time to revamp your to-do list and get back to best practices.
Practice Makes Perfect
This may seem like a long set of guidelines for something as simple as adding to your to-do list. But 90 percent of the work involved when you're tackling tasks that matter is the planning, and that's true for what may seem to be the most trivial tasks. As with any good habit, practice makes perfect. The more you practice the art of creating effective to-do's, the faster and easier it will come to you, and the more you cross items off your list and leave the office with that delicious sense of completion.
Note: Many of the concepts listed above (especially those of Next Actions and Projects) come from David Allen's productivity bible, Getting Things Done. Also, Merlin Mann's 2-part feature on building a smarter to-do list (part 1 and part 2) and his follow-up article for Macworld magazine in July of 2006 (especially the second page) inspired and informed this post. More >
27 Aug 2011 @ 01:01
if at all possible, don’t go. Work to establish a culture of shorter meetings involving fewer people rather than more. If you’re managing a team, trust them enough not to hold a meeting just because it’s Friday to learn that, yep, everyone is still doing his or her job. But if not…
1. Write poetry (assuming you’re allowed to take notes)
2. Hone your bucket list
3. Daydream about what you’d like your career to look like 5 years from now. What steps can you take to get there?
4. Pray or meditate
5. Make a list of things you’re grateful for
6. Make a list of people you’d like to thank for specific things (then send the emails when you get back to your desk)
7. Ponder the premise for a novel. Write character sketches.
8. Look around the room and come up with one genuinely positive thought about each of the other meeting participants
9. Sketch an idea for a cartoon character
10. List your top priorities for next week, next month and next year
11. Brainstorm a sideline or hobby you’d like to take up. Or even a new business idea. If you wanted to increase your family’s income by $20,000 this year, what could you do?
12. Recall one of the happiest moments in your life. How many details can you remember?
13. Think through things about your organization that annoy you. Are there any inefficiencies here to which you can propose solutions? Could you save someone some money? That could be the key to a promotion that gets you out of these meetings.
14. Recall the lyrics to a song that has been meaningful to you. Write them down if you can. Why did you like them?
15. In sales? Make a list of prospects and old clients to check in with. Actually, you should probably do this even if you’re not in sales.
16. The old lotto fantasy: If you won $100 million, what would you do with it?
17. Take it down to earth: Say you got a $10,000 unanticipated tax refund. What would you do with that?
18. Write little booklets of advice for each of your children or grandchildren
19. Sketch the meeting room, or even your cup of coffee
Please help me think of more. What do you do during meetings you know you shouldn’t be in, but are?
26 Aug 2011 @ 17:59
think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate. It is, above all, to matter and to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.” - Louis D. Brandeis
It’s become popular over the last several years, to create vision boards in order to manifest your dreams. Vision boards are collages, made with images cut from magazines. Their purpose is to represent the abundance you want in to create and obtain in your life.
The manifestation guru’s want you to believe that reaching your goals and manifesting your dreams will bring you happiness.
The problem with vision boards is that they are all about ‘me,’ my needs, my wants, and my desires. They don’t stand for community, service to others, or making a difference, things I believe that are required for personal happiness.
If money, possessions, fame, and status, brought happiness then Amy Winehouse would still be singing, Michael Jackson would be still be dancing, and Hollywood would be the happiest place on earth.
Tal Ben-Shahar author of The How of Happiness: A scientific Approach to Getting What You Want says, “Happiness is a combination of meaning and pleasure. We need what we’re experiencing to be meaningful.”
Happiness comes from within. Being content requires living from within, putting more focus on personal values, and loving others. Happiness is more about internal qualities than external stuff. It’s more about inclusion than separation. Happiness isn’t something you search for or go after, it’s a moment by moment decision you make.
Anyone can become a happier person because happiness begets happiness. However it does takes a lot of effort.
Read on for steps to implement your personal happiness plan:
1. Make an intentional choice.
Happiness is an intentional choice. Each morning tell yourself, “I’m happy today.” Take daily responsibility for your happiness quotient. Choose to enjoy the next 24 hours, then the next, and the next. If nothing else ever changes in your life, know that in spite of everything, you can be happy. Make a commitment to happiness, be happy now.
2. Practice self-acceptance.
Honor your uniqueness. Dance with your spirit and reach for the stars. Shine your light on your quirkiness. Appreciate your magnificent talent and enormous wisdom, use them to make the world a better place.
Stop chasing happiness. When you quit neurosing about a better job, a bigger home, a smaller body, joy bubbles to the surface. Happiness isn’t something you chase or become in a distant future. Happiness is all that you are right now.
3. Invest in the best.
The best investment you can make is in the relationships you have with your family, friends, colleagues, and community. Communicate. Spend time together. Participate in volunteering, a feel-good activity. As you enrich the lives of others you enrich your own. Strong connections to others increases your well- being. Chasing happiness causes you to miss the happiness right under your nose. Extend love to others today. Notice how good it makes you feel.
4. Live in a state of appreciation.
Learning to be grateful throughout the day will change the way you interpret life. It changes your brain and opens your heart. Writing down your gratitude list helps solidify it in your brain.The more you express gratitude, the more you find to be grateful for.
Happiness isn’t acquiring something or in some future event. Gratitude is found in the present moment, happiness follows.
5. Drop grievances and resentments.
Forgiveness is giving up being a victim. It turns ‘poor me’ into ‘free me.’ You create your own suffering, stress, and misery by your need to be right. When you hold on to resentment, you miss the present by reliving stories of the past. Happiness dwells in a loving heart and a healed past. Decide to see things differently. Don’t worry about how to forgive, instead choose to be a forgiving person.
6. Enjoy your life.
According to University of California, Irvine’s Professor Lee Berk, “If we took what we know about the medical benefits of laughter and bottled it up, it would require FDA approval.” Take the time to enjoy doing the things you love. Don’t allow the pursuit of a dream trump your time to play and have fun. Be spontaneous, lighten up and laugh. Untether yourself from technology. Leave your electronics at home. Never underestimate the power of creating good times for yourself.
7. Get connected.
Know what inspires you and supports you. Draw strength from a daily spiritual practice, draw, meditate, pray, spend time in nature or do yoga. When you feel connected and grounded, you rush less, do less, and desire less. You become happy with your life exactly how it is in this moment. Spiritual happiness allows you to squeeze all the joy you possibly can out of everyday. There is no other time, there is no other place, find happiness right here, right now.
8. Celebrate your life.
Happy people take time to celebrate themselves and their everyday growth and progress. Validate yourself by being your own cheerleader and tooting your own horn. Recognize your accomplishments big and small. Don’t wait or rely on the approval of others. Celebrate that you have your basic needs met. You are worthy of all life has to offer. Know it, own it, celebrate it!
Life is a grand event, participate in it fully. Researchers have found that people are happier being with others, than being alone. When you are with others, you become more alive, social, and care-free. In turn others want to be with you and near you. Happiness spirals upward. I’m all for that, are you with me?
—
Tess is a speaker, author, fear shattering, calculated risk taker, obsessed with being happy and bold. Her blog, The Bold Life is a juicy mix of inspiration, spirituality, and personal development. Download for free her eBook, “Peace, Love, and Connection.”
Don’t Forget To Follow PickTheBrain on Twitter! More >
26 Aug 2011 @ 13:51
An estimated 19 million Americans suffer from depression, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Research has shown that 10 to 25 percent of American women, as well as 5 to 12 percent of men, will become clinically depressed at some time during their lives.
Unfortunately, depression is not an affliction that most people want to talk about, and this means that many of those who suffer from the condition do not seek help. When depression strikes, the effects can be debilitating and life altering, and remaining in denial will not lead to a cure. Yet many men and women who are stricken with depression refuse to admit they suffer from it. Instead, they blame their feelings on “having the blues” or simply being sad due to circumstances of life.
Although everyone gets down in the dumps from time to time, how do you know if you are actually suffering from depression? While there are many theories regarding signs and symptoms of depression, according to Forbes, there are 10 helpful ways to detect depression.
1.Being over-confident and fearless: Many people who suffer from depression, particularly those who are high achievers, cope with the condition by behaving in ways that are opposite of how they truly feel. Psychiatrists refer to these actions as “escapism.” Common behaviors of escapism include high risk activities or carelessness, like parachuting, mountain climbing or gambling with the rent money.
2.Increased alcohol consumption: Drinking alcohol is the most common way that people with depression choose in an effort to “self-medicate” and escape the emotional turmoil. Not only does this tactic fail to work, but could also lead to a developing a severe drinking problem in addition to being depressed.
3.Sexual obsession or exercise: Many who suffer from depression try to achieve excellence between the sheets or on the treadmill. Sexual activities and working out at the gym can provide a temporary feeling of euphoria that keeps symptoms of depression temporarily at bay.
4.Anger issues: Do routine conflicts quickly escalate into fights? Feeling helpless is a very common symptom of depression. One flawed way suffers fight their way out of feeling helpless is to fight back when they feel the least bit threatened or challenged. If small things constantly enrage you, take it as a serious warning sign.
5.Suppressed feelings: Rather than feeling sad or unhappy, some people who suffer from depression turn off their feelings altogether. Choosing to not care about the people around you, or about the outcome of events and decisions, only serves to ward off pain for a little while. Closing off your feelings can also alienate people from you, and damage valuable relationships.
6.Excessive socializing: While many people with depression would rather be alone in their misery, others immerse themselves in a flurry of social activities. This is a temporary fix—staying busy and being in a social whirlwind is a short term way to escape symptoms of depression.
7.Inability to concentrate: Daydreaming and lack of concentration effects even those people without depression. If you spend a significant amount of time daydreaming and fantasizing, instead of being grounded in reality, you may have a problem.
8.Trouble accepting praise or goodwill: People in the throes of depression have low self esteem; therefore they have trouble accepting praise, kind gestures, or compliments because they feel they don’t deserve them.
9.You work harder but not smarter: Depressed people have a hard time seeing easy solutions to routine or simple problems causing them to work harder to accomplish even the smallest of tasks.
10.Uncontrolled emotions: People who are depressed tend to over-react to minor incidents, but ignore catastrophic news. This emotionally out of sync behavior is called “inappropriate affect” by psychiatrists, and refers to behavior that is opposite of the emotional reaction an incident normally triggers. As an example, a depressed person could express no emotion if a parent dies, but cry uncontrollably while watching a faraway minor disaster on the nightly news.
If you have symptoms of depression, do yourself and your loved ones a favor by seeking professional help. As one of America’s most influential psychologists, Abraham Maslow said, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” Admitting you have a problem is the first step. More >
25 Aug 2011 @ 08:39
Why Take Notes?
The quick answer is: because you and I are pretty dumb. We forget, and we forget quickly.
According to a Cornell University analysis we lose information we don’t write down at an astounding rate:
- 20 minutes after a presentation/training/lecture 47% of the information is forgotten
- 1 day after a presentation/training/lecture 62% of the information is forgotten
- 2 days after a presentation/training/lecture 69% of the information is forgotten
- 75 days after a presentation/training/lecture 75% of the information is forgotten
These rates of forgetfulness did not substantially increase or decrease even when a speaker was very good or very poor. In other words you forget the same amount at the same rate, even if the speaker is exceptional and the material is riveting. It simply doesn’t matter. You forget if you don’t write it down; no matter how good the speaker is.
Note-Taking and Remembering
Some say: “Well, I won’t actually review the notes so I shouldn’t take notes.”
First of all, that’s pretty short-sighted and ignorant. You should review your notes if you really want to learn. (Within 20 minutes after taking them for maximum retention).
Second, that’s not the point. Studies show that just the act of writing notes—the actual writing itself—promotes information retention. Even if you never look at the notes again in your life, even if you went and burned them or flushed them down a toilet immediately after writing them; you would still remember more if you wrote them down.
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Eckhart Tolle believes we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Perhaps this explains why we often hold onto our pain far beyond its ability to serve us.
We replay past mistakes over and over again in our head, allowing feelings of shame and regret to shape our actions in the present. We cling to frustration and worry about the future, as if the act of fixation somehow gives us power. We hold stress in our minds and bodies, potentially creating serious health issues, and accept that state of tension as the norm.
Though it may sound simple, Ajahn Chah’s advice speaks volumes:
“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.”
There will never be a time when life is simple. There will always be time to practice accepting that. Every moment is a chance to let go and feel peaceful. Here are 40 ideas to get started:
Let Go Of Frustration with Yourself/Your Life
1. Learn a new skill instead of dwelling on the skills you never mastered.
2. Change your perception—see the root cause as a blessing in disguise.
3. Cry it out. According to Dr. William Frey II, PH.D., biochemist at the Ramset Medical Center in Minneapolis crying away your negative feelings releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress.
4. Channel your discontent into an immediate positive action—make some calls about new job opportunities, or walk to the community center to volunteer.
5. Use meditation or yoga to bring you into the present moment (instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.)
6. Make a list of your accomplishments—even the small ones— and add to it daily. You’ll have to let go of a little discontentment to make space for this self satisfaction.
7. Visualize a box in your head labeled “Expectations.” Whenever you start dwelling on how things should be or should have been, mentally shelve the thoughts in this box.
8. Engage in a physical activity. Exercise decreases stress hormones and increases endorphins, chemicals that improve your state of mind.
9. Focus all your energy on something you can actually control, instead of dwelling on things you can’t.
10. Express your feelings through a creative outlet, like blogging or painting. Add this to your to-do list and cross it off when you’re done. This will be a visual reminder that you have actively chosen to release these feelings.
Let go of Anger and Bitterness
11. Feel it fully. If you stifle your feelings, they may leak out and affect everyone around you—not just the person who inspired your anger. Before you can let go of any emotion you have to feel it fully.
12. Give yourself a rant window. Let yourself vent for a day before confronting the person who troubled you. This may diffuse the hostility and give you time to plan a rational confrontation.
13. Remind yourself that anger hurts you more than the person who upset you, and visualize it melting away as an act of kindness to yourself.
14. If possible, express your anger to the person who offended you. Communicating how you feel may help you move on. Keep in mind that you can’t control how to offender responds; you can only control how clearly and kindly you express yourself.
15. Take responsibility. Many times when you’re angry, you focus on what someone else did that was wrong—which essentially gives away your power. When you focus on what you could have done better, you often feel empowered and less bitter.
16. Put yourself in the offender’s shoes. We all make mistakes; and odds are you could have easily slipped up just like your husband, father, or friend did. Compassion dissolves anger.
17. Metaphorically throw it away; i.e., jog with a backpack full of tennis balls. After you’ve built up a bit of rush, toss the balls one by one, labeling each as a part of your anger. (You’ll need to retrieve these—litter angers the earth!)
18. Use a stress ball, and express your anger physically and vocally when you use it. Make a scrunched up face or grunt. You may feel silly, but this allows you to actually express what you’re feeling inside.
19. Wear a rubber band on your wrist, and gently flick it when you start obsessing on angry thoughts. This trains your mind to associate that type of persistent negativity with something unpleasant.
20. Remind yourself these are your only three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it. These acts create happiness; holding onto bitterness never does.
Let Go Of Past Relationships
21. Identify what the experience taught you to help develop a sense of closure.
22. Write everything you want to express in a letter. Even if you choose not to send it, clarifying your feelings will help you come to terms with reality as it is now.
23. Remember both the good and the bad. Even if appears this way now, the past was not perfect. Acknowledging this may minimize your sense of loss. As Laura Oliver says, “It’s easier to let go of a human than a hero.”
24. Un-romanticize the way you view love. Of course you’ll feel devastated if you believe you lost your soul mate. If you think you can find a love that amazing or better again it will be easier to move on.
25. Visualize an empowered single you—the person you were before meeting your last love. That person was pretty awesome, and now you have the chance to be him or her again.
26. Create a space that reflects your present reality. Take down his pictures; delete her emails from your saved folder.
27. Reward yourself for small acts of acceptance. Get a facial after you delete his number from your phone, or head out with friends after putting all her things in a box.
28. Hang this statement somewhere you can see it. “Loving myself means letting go.”
29. Replace your emotional thoughts with facts. When you think, “I’ll never feel loved again!” don’t resist that feeling. Instead, move on to another thought, like “I learned a new song for karaoke tonight.”
30. Use the silly voice technique. According to Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap, swapping the voice in your head with a cartoon voice will help take back power from the troubling thought.
Let Go Of Stress
31. Use a deep breathing technique, like ujayii, to soothe yourself and seep into the present moment.
32. Immerse yourself in a group activity. Enjoying the people in your life may help put your problems in perspective.
33. Consider this quotation by Eckhart Tolle: “Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.” Questioning how your stress serves you may help you let it go.
34. Metaphorically release it. Write down all your stresses and toss the paper into your fireplace.
35. Replace your thoughts. Notice when you begin thinking about something that stresses you so you can shift your thought process to something more pleasant—like your passion for your hobby.
36. Take a sauna break. Studies reveal that people who go to sauna at least twice a week for 10-30 minutes are less stressed after work than others with similar jobs who don’t.
37. Imagine your life 10 years from now. Then look 20 years into the future, and then 30. Realize that many of the things you’re worrying about don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
38. Organize your desk. According to Georgia Witkin, assistant director of psychiatry at Mount Sinai School of Medicine, completing a small task increases your sense of control and decreases your stress level.
39. Use it up. Make two lists: one with the root causes of your stress, and one with actions to address them. As you complete these tasks, visualize yourself utilizing and depleting your “stress supply.”
40. Laugh it out. Research shows that laughter soothes tension, improves your immune system, and even eases pain. If you can’t relax for long, start with just ten minutes watching a funny video on YouTube.
It’s a long list, but there’s much left to be said! Can you think of anything to add to this list—other areas of life where we need to practice letting go, and other techniques to start doing it right now? More >
We all want to be happy in some way or another. We strive each day to find the path of happiness whatever we think it is. But some of us come up way short. Some of us make mistakes day in and day out that take us away from the shining beacon of happiness at the end of the tunnel.
Are you striving to find peace? Are you striving to locate that inner glow that you know must exist? Are you coming up short or finding happiness that’s always fleeting? Life is a journey and on it we find what works and what doesn’t work. However, the most unhappy people tend to have a few things in common. If you’re looking to find peace, balance, and joy in your life, here’s what NOT to do. These people have it all wrong:
1. They Hate Their Jobs
You spend eight hours, sometimes much more at work. If you hate your job you can’t help but hate your life because you’re spending 40 out of the 168 hours in a week doing something you can’t stand. What’s worse, we often take our anger from work home with us, bringing that disgruntled attitude into our homes. I’m not saying go out and quit your job tomorrow. Instead, take an aerial view of your life. Why don’t you love your job? What’s missing? Is it the career itself? Is it your boss or your company? What’s your passion? What are you good at? Take time to answer these questions and then make a plan to move towards change, however long it takes.
2. They’re Constantly Worried About Money
Studies have proven that being rich won’t make us any happier. A Princeton University study showed that people needed an annual income of $75,000 per year per household and no more to be happy. Above that amount, more cash has no effect on “emotional well-being.” What this really means is that you need to be able to comfortably pay bills and save without worrying about finances. On the other hand, financial uncertainty does make us unhappy so this is another chance for evaluation. Are you overspending? What can you downsize? How can you minimize your life so that you can afford it? This is in no way an easy question, but it’s part of the journey.
3. They Don’t Have Any Active Hobbies
Happiness is linked to activity level. You have to move to feel good. What about yoga, hiking, swimming, surfing, biking, or running? Happiness is also linked to doing what you love so find active hobbies that make you happy and get to it.
4. They Have Wandering Minds.
According to Science News, “[a] wandering mind often stumbles downhill emotionally. People spend nearly half their waking lives thinking about stuff other than what they’re actually doing, and these imaginary rambles frequently feel bad, according to a new study.” The more you can focus on what you’re doing when you’re doing it, the happier you are. Meditation allows you to learn to focus on the present moment so you can actually live the life you’ve been given.
5. They Commute a Long Distance
A long commute can take a toll on your life and after a while it can really bring you down. How much of your life are you losing in commute? It’s hard on a relationship as well. A recent Swedish study found that divorce rates were higher the longer the commute.
6. They Think “Stuff” Will Make Them Happy
Unhappy people are constantly trying to fill the void by consuming, whether it be alcohol, food, or shopping. But the problem is happiness can’t be consumed, it’s cultivated from within. Meeting desires only brings fleeting happiness.
7. They’re Lonely
Cultivating relationships is important for both your health and your happiness. And that doesn’t just mean how good you are at social networking. Unfortunately nowadays more than a few of us view our laptop as our very best friend. Single or not, married or not, it’s important to always strive both to make friends and to keep them while also keeping close ties to family.
Related: Loneliness Harms Health: Why You Need Friends
8. They Don’t Like Their Town
So often we feel stuck in our lives. We live in a town that we no longer love and aren’t sure how to feel better about the situation. This is another opportunity to take a step back and ask why you feel the way you do. Is it the town or is it you? Get the newspaper and look into new events, volunteer some place new, or, well, move. Who says you have to live in the same place your whole life? I certainly haven’t. I’ve already tried out Charlottesville, Athens, Washington DC, Florence, Charleston, and Columbia and I’m just getting started.
9. They Don’t Have Pets
Pets serve as support and provide unconditional love that we grow to depend on but at the same time, they don’t disrupt other human relationships, according to a new study. If you’re considering pet ownership, adopt a pet in need and follow this guide to responsible pet ownership.
Related: 6 Health Benefits of Having Pets
10. They Don’t Like Themselves
We make ourselves happy by the way we view life and by learning to enjoy the moment. We make ourselves happy by the way we view ourselves. By opening our hearts we find peace but that peace has to first start off with you. If you dislike yourself, you can never be happy so give yourself a break. Learn to love yourself, you deserve it!
23 Aug 2011 @ 10:12
1. Spend time reflecting on your life -- look at the big picture. (When stressed, we tend to develop tunnel vision.)
2. Exercise regularly -- it relieves tension. Asking a friend to exercise with you will provide accountability and make it more fun.
3. Talk difficult issues over with a trusted friend or board of advisors.
4. Journal -- write down all your concerns and how you feel about them, then throw the paper away and let it go.
5. Take time out to meditate, pray or go for a walk and observe nature -- the trees and flowers, listen to the birds, watch the ever-changing cloud formations. Spend time with people, get to know them and develop deeper relationships.
6. Get adequate sleep and rest at night
7. Plan time for fun -- laughter is good medicine. Taking time out to relax and play shouldn't be considered a luxury.
8. If you face a stressful situation that is beyond your control, put it in perspective by asking yourself how it will feel and what impact it will have on you five years, or even six months, from now.
9. Focus on what is positive and see the glass as half full. Turn your attention to things that have gone well and praise yourself.
10. View stressful situations, large and small, as opportunities to learn. Stop, step back and think about ways you could benefit from them. Velcro® and Post-It® notes were invented as solutions to frustrating problems.
11. Take five-minute vacations. Stop work for five minutes, relax, breathe deeply and think about something fun and pleasant. This can refresh your mind and you'll return to the project with new clarity.
12. When you've completed a stressful task, reward yourself with something you enjoy. More >
22 Aug 2011 @ 02:30
Ellen Dorle, Contributor
Part Two of a Survivor’s Guide to your own Personal Black Swan Moment
The previous Thoughtful Investing Blog focused on what to do to prepare for a job loss. We pick up there and look at 10 things to do after you have lost your job. As important as family support is to your life, you have a lot to sort through and may want to seek advice from independent professionals.
1.Contact a Career coach. Have you met with one? Most will give you the first meeting at no cost or obligation and you can brainstorm. Even this one meeting might give you some great ideas. Before you sign on with one, make sure you have shopped around to find one you like.
2.Network in unlikely places. Examine who you know, and who knows the most people. Tell them your story and see what comes back to you. For me, it was always my hairdresser. Seriously. He or she knew so many people. Second to this is your financial planner. Seriously II. As a financial planner I am incredibly connected to generations of clients and their families with all sorts of skill levels. As a self employed person for almost 20 years, I can also give you insight into this life style.
3.Evaluate your financial planner. If you look in the mirror and see your financial planner, fire yourself, and reach out to the financial planning community in your area. Just like career coaches, most planners will meet with you initially to see how they can help you and potentially work together and there is no charge for this first meeting. Look for Certified Financial Planners here. They have passed a strenuous series of 6 exams followed by a 2 day 10 hour comprehensive exam with a 55% pass ratios. CFPs dedicate themselves to this regimen.
4.Sharpen your saw. This aspect is one of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. If it has been a while since you read these 7 Habits, take another look. These are amazing and simple truths. Find people and situations to make you a better prospect and potential employee the next time around.
5.Join Toastmasters. I would have put this first, but then you may have quit reading. It has been said they many people would pick death over making a speech in public. Perhaps you can already think on your feet. If you have never given an improvised speech, ask someone you love to give you a topic to talk about for 5 minutes and have them time you. If it is something you know about, that will help. If not, then your speech may be more about your curiosity about the topic. For example: Talk for 5 minutes about a Day in the Life of a Firefighter. But I digress……my major in college was Communications and I love to give speeches. You don’t have to love to speak in public. But you must be able to speak extemporaneously in a job interview, and you can practice this in your own living room.
6.Keep current with your health insurance. Even though money may be tight, there are ways to keep you and your family insured. Before you decline COBRA or if you’re nearing the end of this coverage, contact your financial planner or insurance agent and price out the ranges of coverage. If your spouse has access to health insurance, you may be eligible for guaranteed issue when your health insurance runs out. Avoid temporary insurance as it will not cover nor extend coverage for pre-existing conditions.
7.See a psychologist. If your employer has an Employee Assistance Program, all the better. Find a professional to talk about your situation. I did this and it was the best thing I did to validate my assessment of my new reality. This was originally my #1 item on the list. I moved it for the same reason noted under #6.
8.Get out of the house and look ready to be hired. Each morning have a plan, and dress like you are going to work. You never know who you might run into filling the car with gas, at the library, getting groceries. In Columbus, Ohio where I live, there are two main job networking groups. In addition, there are many more free networking groups. Get dressed up, go, and keep coming back until you find the people you need. We are lucky to live with the Resource of The Ohio State University in our city. Once a month, our Fisher School of Business holds a free breakfast featuring one of their professors in an outreach program educating attendees about this professor’s view of the world of business, finance, marketing, etc. (My previously blog on “going green” was inspired by one of these lectures).
9.Exercise. When you were working you may have said you didn’t have time to exercise. Now you do. It will improve your body and your mind. Right or wrong, an employer may be more impressed with your image as an amateur athlete than a couch potato.
10. Web sites to visit: Self assessment tests may help you to find strengths and give you the courage to reinvent your self.
By Marlo Sollitto, AgingCare.com contributing editor
Feeling frazzled? Balancing life with work, kids, bills and managing a household can put anyone on the verge of a meltdown.
Caring for others, you probably forget to take care of yourself. But if you’re not healthy, you not only suffer, but so do those in your care. What you do isn’t easy, and you probably don’t have much time in your day for yourself, but reducing stress levels whenever possible is crucial to good health and good state of mind. So take a deep breath, and read on. Here are some surprisingly simple stress busters.
1. Laugh
Laughing for one minute is the equivalent to 15 minutes on an exercise bike or 10 minutes on a rowing machine. Laughter can reduce stress hormones, boost your immune system and lower your blood pressure. So pop in an old Seinfeld video, read your favorite comic strip, turn on Comedy Central, call a friend who makes you laugh or pull out old photos albums. Go ahead: laugh out loud!
6 Secret At-Home Stress Relievers
2. Embrace routine tasks
Instead of rushing through the day on auto pilot, elicit the relaxation response while you’re doing simple household tasks, like folding laundry or washing dishes. They may seem tedious and tiresome, but the repetitive quality of activities like these can actually have a soothing effect by short-circuiting stressful thought patterns. The key is to focus your attention on a particular aspect of what you’re doing, such as putting a crease in your pants as you iron them, which will keep your mind from drifting to more stressful thoughts. Focusing on relaxation while doing chores doesn’t take any longer, but it does take away from stress.
6 Surprising Ways to Instantly Lower Stress
posted by AgingCare.com Aug 16, 2011 9:30 am
filed under: Health & Wellness, Stress, lower stress, reduce stress, stress, stress management
3. Reinvent your vocabulary
Words have a powerful influence over our mind. Think positive thoughts and use positive words. You don’t need to buy a dictionary and start learning lots of fancy new words. Just ban two simple words from your vocabulary…and add one important one. Never utter the words “I can’t” again. Saying things like “I can’t do it anymore” is a defeatist attitude that is a recipe for failure. And with failure comes stress. So don’t say “I can’t.” Say “I’ll try.” And here’s a word that many caregivers need to add to their vocabulary: “No!” It’s one of the first words that babies learn - and they use it often. But as adults, the word seems to have slipped from our vocabulary. Learn how to say “no.” Know your limits and stick to them, whether in your personal or professional life.
How to Think, Do and Be Positive!
4. Talk slower
Whenever you feel overwhelmed by stress, practice speaking more slowly than usual. You’ll find that you think more clearly and react more reasonably to stressful situations. Stressed people tend to speak fast and breathlessly. By slowing down your speech you’ll also appear less anxious and more in control of any situation.
5. Get a haircut
Beautify! Invest in a good haircut, adopt a 5-minute makeup routine or get out of those sweat pants. Looking good makes you feel better. Even if you just do a quick swipe of blush, mascara and lipstick, you’ll feel better. A funky necklace or a great pair of earrings can quickly lift your spirits – even if you’re not leaving the house.
6. Stop counting calories
Counting calories every single day can be very tiring, stressful and makes you even hungrier! Instead, focus on making healthy food choices. A diet rich in fruits, veggies, beans and whole grains, is high in water content and fiber, you’ll feel full and be less inclined to overeat or eat unhealthy foods. And in turn, this will reduce the stress connected with weight gain and self-blame.
16 Aug 2011 @ 14:47
1.You stay on task: By having a goal in mind or something to accomplish that day, you are much more inclined to stay on task and get it accomplished.
2.You eliminate distractions: There are so many distractions in today’s world and it is so easy to get caught up in time wasters such as Facebook, Twitter, email ect. Putting goals in place will make sure you stay on track because you know you need to accomplish those things. By focusing on the goal of writing two pages for the upcoming assignment, it forced me to block out all the time wasters and to focus on getting that done FIRST!
3.Sense of accomplishment: Everyone wants to have the feeling before going to bed that they accomplished something that day. One of the worst feelings is going to bed with the feeling of “what did I do today that benefitted me or someone else?” I cannot stand this feeling, so writing down goals is a great way to get that satisfaction you are looking for from your day.
4.It moves you closer to longer term goals: By accomplishing smaller goals each day, this moves you towards your ultimate goal. When you have a big goal set, it doesn’t happen overnight. There are steps that need to be taken to achieving this goal. Having these small daily goals (or sub-goals) is a great way to make sure you are getting closer to that ultimate goal on a daily basis.
5.It keeps you organized: So many times I find myself so unorganized while going throughout my day. I am trying to figure out what is next on the agenda, what I need to do after lunch, and so on. Putting those goals in place the night before will help you stay organized in your day. If you get stuck, just look at your goals and get something done until you figure out what needs to get done next. More >
16 Aug 2011 @ 08:53
Difficult economic times means companies are downsizing, which leaves employees with an increased workload and a higher risk of job burnout — which is defined as the gradual erosion of energy and spirit because of chronic job stress.
Here’s how to prevent it:
Heed the signals.
“Be aware of how stress manifests in your body,” says Ruth Luban, a counselor who specializes in occupational and behavioral health in Santa Monica, Calif. Some experience gastrointestinal distress, while others have insomnia. Treat — don’t rationalize — symptoms.
Practice self-care.
Quiet rituals can be as simple as 10 minutes every two hours. “Smoking or coffee breaks will only fuel burnout,” Luban says. Try breathing, meditation or walking.
Avoid a job mismatch.
Research shows six factors indicate whether there is a fit between a job and a person, says Christina Maslach, professor of psychology at the University of California-Berkeley: workload, control over tasks, community, fair treatment, reward and similar values. The greater the mismatch, the greater the risk of burnout.
Talk with someone.
“Professionals are embarrassed when they burn out,” Luban says. They tend to withdraw . Talk with a spouse or friend. Your boss? That’s delicate. Depending on the relationship, consider talking about changing your job description or moving to a different role.
Educate yourself.
Burnout is a continuum, so you want to know where you are on the scale. Take preventative measures, and if you still feel fried, it’s burnout More >
16 Aug 2011 @ 05:13
How to Get Started Today: 3 Very Simple Things That Work for Me
by Henrik Edberg
“How soon ‘not now’ becomes ‘never’.”
Martin Luther
I love getting started with a new habit or project. There is excitement and a certain freshness ahead of you as you are about to get going.
But sometimes it stops there. At about to get going. Because “you don’t have the time”. Or it’s “not the right time right now”.
I have whole chapters on how I establish new habits, keep up the motivation after that initial enthusiasm perhaps has started to wane and on how to become more of a person of action in The Art of Relaxed Productivity and the Simplicity Course.
But today I would like to share just three tips for that first, crucial step. Three steps that have worked for me over and over to get started with something and to grow.
Ask yourself: Do I really want this?
One reason that you may never seem to get started is because your heart is not in it. If you set a goal but it isn’t your goal then it will be hard to achieve or even getting started with it.
If you realize that it’s a goal set by people around you – parents, teachers, bosses or society in general – then, when possible, eliminate the goal and set a few goals you would like to achieve.
Or try to find you own motivation and reasons for achieving a goal rather than the ones people around you have set. This could put the goal in different light and suddenly you’ll feel a whole lot motivated to get started.
But you don’t always have to have a burning desire to do something to get going. I have begun something many, many times just because I was curious. If you are curious but feel an inner resistance then the next two tips will be helpful.
Ask yourself: What is the worst that could happen?
If you feel like you can’t get started for some reason then ask yourself: what is the worst that can happen?
A lot of the fear we feel before getting started comes from fuzzy and foggy thoughts about what could happen. But if you actually imagine the worst realistic scenario then it’s often not as frightening as you thought. You won’t die or anything. And it won’t ruin the rest of your life.
Imagine the worst scenario and then try to create a plan how you could get on your feet again if that scenario, against all probability, should happen. You’ll then most often realize that whatever your fear is you could probably get back on your feet and back to your normal life pretty quickly once again.
Start the easy way.
If it feels like too big of an effort in your mind then you’ll come up with all kinds of reasons to not get started.
So start easy. Take a small step into something new.
Go out running for just 10 minutes. Instead of running for 45 minutes. Or run for just 5 minutes and walk for 5 minutes. The important thing is to make the habit stick and you do that by actually doing it a whole bunch of times. Then you can slowly, step by step, increase the amount of time you spend running each time you are out.
Work on something new for just 10 minutes. If you feel reluctant to starting with something new then commit to start doing actual work – not more planning or preparation – for just 10 minutes. Or for 5 minutes if 10 seems too much. Then do just 5 or 10 minutes of work on the new thing each day. After you have gotten started you will however often just continue working after those first few minutes minutes are up.
Getting started is often the hardest part so make it easy on yourself by initially setting the bar as low as you are comfortable with. More >
15 Aug 2011 @ 03:56
10. Get Some Perspective
Today is one day out of your entire life. Unless you're going to die soon, it's probably not going to be that big of a deal. If it's one of your days off, you may find yourself doing nothing because you want to figure out the best way to spend such limited time. If it's one of your work days, there will be other days where other things happen. Whatever the moment is, it's a blip in your life. Chances are you won't remember it in a week. That's not to say you shouldn't pay attention to what you truly care about, but you shouldn't dwell on it either. You have food, a place to live, and something to do most days. You probably have fun once in a while. Maybe you even have people who care about you. Focus on the good stuff, and remember the rest is going to be a distant memory very quickly. Spending your time moaning to yourself (and others) about how awful your job is won't solve the problem. Just don't do it, and focus on the positive.
9. Bring Yourself to Work
Presumably you're already doing this in the physical sense, but if you have a creative side or other interests it can make your job more fun if you find ways to integrate them. One of my primary duties at a job a long time ago involved addressing catalogs for an advertising school. I made this more fun by illustrating the envelopes based on the person's name. Eventually some people called because they liked it and I was given some design work. At another job we had to learn a new product the company acquired that made online slideshows by actually using it to make one. I wrote a song about a womanizing spatula named Denny who finally met the woman (or, well, "female" inanimate object) of his dreams, took some photos of household objects, and put together a stop motion music video. Also, the entire thing was in Google-translated Spanish. Whenever my job got me down, either because it was boring or I just needed something to break the monotony, I'd try to bring something I enjoyed to the work. Obviously this takes more time, but all the little strange things I did at those jobs are my favorite memories. While not every job will let you bring your (potentially strange) personality to the table, I highly recommend doing it if you can find a way. Nothing brightened up the day more.
8. Watch Out for False Starts
Bad days generally occur when a number of little frustrations happen in succession. On their own they might not be a big deal and you'd go on forgetting about them, but together they make you think the universe is plotting against you. These are false starts, and they're often the root of bad days. When things appear to be going worse than usual, take a step back and look at what happened. You are not so important that an entire day has been set aside specifically for your personal misery. Dissect each moment, realize your being ridiculous, and make fun of yourself when you can. If you look at a situation realistically, you can sometimes stop a potential bad day before it starts.
7. Be Healthy
balanced mind and body makes a big difference when it comes to everything that you do—even the things you don't like. The idea isn't to just become a person who hates their job with fancy muscles, but to allow your physical and mental needs to take precedence over pretty much everything else. For starters, decide when you have to go to bed each night (it can be a range) and follow it. Find exercise you can and will do 3-4 times per week and do it. Don't worry about how minimal it is. Start making some cheap and healthy food. Set aside some time each day to just relax and do nothing. Schedule it all if you need to, but make sure you don't let your job get int the way of your well-being. If you already don't like it, neglecting your health is going to make it much, much worse.
6. Block Out Negative Conversation
about your job can be fun because it seems cathartic, but venting your frustration will only make your anger worse. If that negativity spreads to your coworkers, you can exacerbate the problem by creating a hive mentality, or at least making everyone more miserable as a result. While you don't want to bottle up your feelings until you go postal one day, you don't have to approach everything negatively. Instead of complaining, consider solutions. Try to find ways to improve things. If you can't change the way things work in the office, consider ways to help you cope with those problems. Being more proactive and less negative may not fix everything, but it can improve your situation.
5. Take a Pay Cut
Take a pay cut and get some extra job flexibility in return. Apparently many of you wouldn't mind that option at all, and your company probably would love to pay you less. If you want to cut back on your hours, work from home on occasion, or get some other benefit that's important to you, ask for a pay cut in exchange. You might just get it, and that benefit may make you a lot happier than money.
4. Get Along With Your Co-Workers
When you hate your job, it's easy to not want to get involved with your co-workers. Doing so means getting attached, and you don't want to feel attached to any kind of employment that's destroying your livelihood. That said, if you have friends at work you have people to make you less miserable. Also, according to one study, you might actually live longer. Even if you don't think you'll get along with certain people in the office, give it a shot. If it doesn't work out, you can always just go back to being a loner.
3. Find Balance
Finding balance is easier said than done, but small, strategic changes can make a big difference. Sometimes it's not so much that the work you do is soul suckingly awful, but that it's consuming your life. Rather than find a new job and end up in the same situation all over again, stick with the one you've got and and pay attention to the small things. Take note of the little moments that make you happy and those that drive you up the wall. Try to remove the details you hate and replace it with more of the details you like. Big, grand decisions can be pleasing for a short amount of time, but if you never fix the little problems and neglect to embrace the little moments of happiness, history will be doomed to repeat itself.
2. Learn to Deal With Your Crazy Boss
work sucks, chances are your boss has something to do with it. But you can learn to cope. One way to deal with your boss' insanity is to create some distance. For example, see if you can have your assignments filtered though someone else. You may also want to keep a crazy log and get as much as you can in writing so should things ever get so bad that you need to go to human resources you will be prepared. Just be sure not to engage your boss in a crazy contest, because they're probably better at it than you are. For more details, read this.
1. Just Quit
If you're truly at the end of your rope and there's no way you'll survive much longer, you need to create a quitting plan. Yes, you think you have to stay to pay your rent, and yes, you think you'll never find another job in this market. Save up enough money to make it at least one month and then you need to quit. You can take a few days to relax and recoup but then you have the rest of that month to find another place to work. There's no better motivator than potential homelessness. Plus, you'll have all those work hours to dedicate to your search. At eight hours a day, that comes out to about 180 hours for the month (give or take a few). That's a lot of time. If you're diligent and use that time wisely, you should be able to find something else.
Got any other strategies for surviving a crappy job? Share 'em in the comments!
Title photo by Angela Waye (Shutterstock)
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. In study after study, research from independent organizations consistently shows organic food is higher in nutrients than traditional foods. Research shows that organic produce is higher in vitamin C, antioxidants, and the minerals calcium, iron, chromium, and magnesium.
2. They’re free of neurotoxins–toxins that are damaging to brain and nerve cells. A commonly-used class of pesticides called organophosphates was originally developed as a toxic nerve agent during World War I. When there was no longer a need for them in warfare, industry adapted them to kill pests on foods. Many pesticides are still considered neurotoxins.
3. They’re supportive of growing children’s brains and bodies. Children’s growing brains and bodies are far more susceptible to toxins than adults. Choosing organic helps feed their bodies without the exposure to pesticides and genetically-modified organisms, both of which have a relatively short history of use (and therefore safet
4. They are real food, not pesticide factories. Eighteen percent of all genetically-modified seeds (and therefore foods that grow from them) are engineered to produce their own pesticides. Research shows that these seeds may continue producing pesticides inside your body once you’ve eaten the food grown from them! Foods that are actually pesticide factories…no thanks.
5. The US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) estimates that pesticides pollute the primary drinking source for half the American population. Organic farming is the best solution to the problem. Buying organic helps reduce pollution in our drinking water.
6. Organic food is earth-supportive (when big business keeps their hands out of it). Organic food production has been around for thousands of years and is the sustainable choice for the future. Compare that to modern agricultural practices that are destructive of the environment through widespread use of herbicides, pesticides, fungicides, and fertilizers and have resulted in drastic environmental damage in many parts of the world.
7. Organic food choices grown on small-scale organic farms help ensure independent family farmers can create a livelihood. Consider it the domestic version of fair trade.
8. Most organic food simply tastes better than the pesticide-grown counterparts.
9. Organic food is not exposed to gas-ripening like some non-organic fruits and vegetables (like bananas).
10. Organic farms are safer for farm workers. Research at the Harvard School of Public Health found a 70 percent increase in Parkinson’s disease among people exposed to pesticides. Choosing organic foods means that more people will be able to work on farms without incurring the higher potential health risk of Parkinson’s or other illnesses.
11. Organic food supports wildlife habitats. Even with commonly used amounts of pesticides, wildlife is being harmed by exposure to pesticides.
12. Eating organic may reduce your cancer risk. The US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) considers 60% of herbicides, 90% of fungicides, and 30 percent of insecticides potentially cancer-causing. It is reasonable to think that the rapidly increasing rates of cancer are at least partly linked to the use of these carcinogenic pesticides.
13. Choosing organic meat lessens your exposure to antibiotics, synthetic hormones, and drugs that find their way into the animals and ultimately into you.
14. Organic food is tried and tested. By some estimates genetically-modified food makes up 80% of the average person’s food consumption. Genetic modification of food is still experimental. Avoid being part of this wide scale and uncontrolled experiment.
15. Organic food supports greater biodiversity. Diversity is fundamental to life on this planet. Genetically-modified and non-organic food is focused on high yield monoculture and is destroying biodiversity.
Michelle Schoffro Cook, MSc, RNCP, ROHP, DNM, PhD is an international best-selling and eleven-time book author and doctor of traditional natural medicine, whose works include: The Vitality Diet, Allergy-Proof, Arthritis-Proof, Total Body Detox, The Life Force Diet, The Ultimate pH Solution, The 4-Week Ultimate Body Detox Plan, and The Phytozyme Cure. Check out her natural health resources and free e-newsletter at
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22 Jan 2012 @ 15:58
