Take the RED PILL - NOW - Before its too late! {http://www.emoharmony.org,EmoHarmony.org} 2004-05-09T07:09:16Z User 294 sebastian@integralhumans.org http://www.newciv.org/nl/newslog.php/_v294/ OrgSpace NewsLog Permission to use is granted only if byline and links are maintained.

Very Subtle Beings are rarely appreciated. The aesthetic appreciation faculty is numbed by the frantic search for meaning that runs rampantly through the wandering minds of the non self reflective. I don't know what the hell to do about it. Should I? I am stirred, not shaken to wonder, a...

Very Subtle Beings
are rarely appreciated.
The aesthetic appreciation faculty is numbed
by the frantic search for meaning
that runs rampantly through the wandering minds
of the non self reflective.
I don't know what the hell to do about it.
Should I?
I am stirred, not shaken
to wonder, and ponder about it.
It's hardly avoidable... in every interaction,
it becomes apparent.
So what's a bhodi to do?
I shoot love / truth bullets
into the heart / minds of the distracted
that bump into me.
Sometimes they look startled like deer in headlights.
They soon forget for the most part.
Resonance... substantiates our Reality Song
And when it does... sweetness can be shared...
Even that is not enough to draw them away from their becoming... what?
...For the most part
I could be sad, but not today.
What for?
]]> http://www.newciv.org/nl/newslog.php/_v294/__show_article/_a000294-000009.htm 2004-05-09T07:09:16Z 2004-05-09T07:09:16Z

This is my central focus for now. I feel an urge or something to help people move beyond unecessary suffering of the mental / emotional sort. www.emoharmony.org

This is my central focus for now. I feel an urge or something to help people move beyond unecessary suffering of the mental / emotional sort.
www.emoharmony.org
]]> http://www.newciv.org/nl/newslog.php/_v294/__show_article/_a000294-000008.htm 2004-03-11T08:49:04Z 2004-03-11T08:49:04Z

Integral Institute is dedicated to the proposition that partial and piecemeal approaches to complex problems are ineffective. Whether addressing individual and personal issues of meaning and transformation, or increasingly complex social problems such as war, hunger, disease, over-population, hou...

Integral Institute is dedicated to the proposition that partial and piecemeal approaches to complex problems are ineffective. Whether addressing individual and personal issues of meaning and transformation, or increasingly complex social problems such as war, hunger, disease, over-population, housing, ecology, and education, partial and fragmented approaches need to be replaced by solutions that are more comprehensive, systematic, encompassing—and integral. http://www.integralinstitute.org/integral.htm]]> http://www.newciv.org/nl/newslog.php/_v294/__show_article/_a000294-000007.htm 2003-12-02T04:57:53Z 2003-12-02T04:57:53Z

"The only full and authentic purification is that which turns a man completely inside out, so that he no longer has a self to defend, no longer an intimate heritage to protect against inroads and dilapidations. The full maturity of the spiritual life cannot be reached unless we first pass through...

"The only full and authentic purification is that which turns a man completely inside out, so that he no longer has a self to defend, no longer an intimate heritage to protect against inroads and dilapidations. The full maturity of the spiritual life cannot be reached unless we first pass through the dread, anguish, trouble, and fear that necessarily accompany the inner crisis of "spiritual death" in which we finally abandon our attachment to our exterior self and surrender completely to Christ." (Thomas Merton)
MY DARK NIGHT OF THE SENSES

By Sebastian

"The only full and authentic purification is that which turns a man completely inside out, so that he no longer has a self to defend, no longer an intimate heritage to protect against inroads and dilapidations. The full maturity of the spiritual life cannot be reached unless we first pass through the dread, anguish, trouble, and fear that necessarily accompany the inner crisis of "spiritual death" in which we finally abandon our attachment to our exterior self and surrender completely to Christ." (Thomas Merton)

GOT 2 Jesus said, "Those who seek should not stop seeking until they find. When they find, they will be disturbed. When they are disturbed, they will marvel, and will reign over all. [And after they have reigned they will rest.]"

Circa 1997-1998

Integrating The Shadow
“That which is hidden must be revealed”.

I don’t think of this event as a spiritual realization - it was more like an instinctual opening up and a purging of subconscious and repressed material. It was initiated from some place deep within and slowly engulfed my everyday repressed, constricted and conformed life.
After many years working hard at stifling and repressing urges, (being religious) and avoiding thoughts and desires that were taboo in my social environment (and that’s quite a lot of things in a fundamental church community) I began to open up to the ‘hedonic’ or sensual side of life, and no longer clung to a pious façade so tightly. I knew deep down that there was a reason why these unwanted thoughts and feelings that were parts of my own mind kept invading my life. I began to open up to and embrace the ‘dark’ side, to dance with the devil. After so many years of repression, I could clearly see how it didn’t work to bring anyone into a state of what I considered to be true inner peace. In fact most people I knew were suffering guilt and depression. I instinctively began to explore a different avenue that might answer the questions that plagued me. Questions like: Why am I so reactive? Why am I subject to compulsive thoughts and actions? Where is inner peace?
The opening up to and integrating the shadow is the first phase in the mystical unfoldment of your true nature. It is the beginning of integration from a fragmented state to wholeness. For me this period lasted maybe 8 years. I could actually say it was sort of an experiment, a step in my quest for truth, because there was a certain degree of a conscious observing of myself to see what would occur or evolve. Like what happens to me if I drink a little and flirt with some woman? During this time my embrace of the shadow was mostly in a hedonic, indulgent manner. I was just being more willing to allow the impulses and feelings I had been so thoroughly repressing.
I would not argue that the path I took in this was the best or only way. I only knew that what I had been doing (religious practice and repression of anything that was interpreted as not ‘holy’) was an exercise in futility and I had to find out the truth. I had no one guiding me except my instinctual desire to be whole. If I had a guide or a mentor, my experience may not have been so disruptive to others around me and may have been less painful for me as well. There are now venues and guides all around for people who want to explore their dark interiors.

Giving Up The World
“What does it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his soul”?,
“The Kingdom of God is within you”. Yeshua.

“It stands to reason that one must give up the world in order to gain his soul”.
St John of the Cross.

Early on after reading some very powerful writings about this transformation I came to a realization that my entire orientation in life was a seeking for wholeness outside of myself. I sought consolation and completion in relationships or situations. I tried to get security from belongings or living situations. I looked for fulfillment in experiences such as adventure or the excitement of winning some game. Even the higher states I could feel at church services were a result of seeking outside myself for what I felt I lacked.
One day a few months after I had begun a regular practice of meditation, I was hit with a stunning recognition. I came to fully realize that the world and everything in it was totally meaningless and had no value at all. I died to the world that day, literally. This realization hit me so hard that as I was walking through a field it brought me to my knees. The world had nothing for me. Nothing… ever. And as the Hindu mystics say, I saw this world as an illusion, a play, a form of entertainment that ultimately was not true reality. This may be hard to swallow or understand, but it is my experience. It was a peak experience that subsided. I had more to learn.

“Work out your salvation with fear and trembling”.
Then I entered into a phase of cathartic and unifying purgation (to use the descriptions of St. John of the Cross). During this time, the processing of unconscious material became rapid and bewildering. The stuff bubbling up from deep within often overwhelmed me and confused me, causing great emotional turmoil. I had become deeply involved with a woman who was a willing co-journeyer on this path to truth, and this relationship became the catalyst for this bumpy phase. Another important factor was the willingness to let go that occurred when I began to earnestly study Christian mysticism and Transpersonal Psychology. This willingness to let go of everything I clung to for safety, security and identity was the manifestation of my devotion to know the truth no matter what the cost. It was then that I stumbled upon the most powerful practice I had ever encountered and its effects on me were staggering.

Inner Healing / Emotional Metabolizing
“Resist not evil”, “Turn the other cheek”
The practice could be summed up as “non-resistance” to what I had judged as ‘bad’, especially negative emotions. (and this is only the first step) I learned that I could stop resisting something that would normally upset me and that I could open up to and trust (the universe, God, Spirit, evolution) and face the deep dark feelings that would arise with the support of this comforting Presence. If I stopped looking outside myself for relief from my pain, fear, anger, jealousy, etc. and I kept the feeling with me, opened up to it, and did not project it at someone else, I would go through a process. The first thing that happened is that the upsetting feeling increased… sometimes to excruciating levels. I learned to stay with these feelings and try to open to them and embrace them. It boils down to a sort of warmly, lovingly wrapping awareness around them. It is really the act of ‘doing nothing’ because the normal response to emotional anguish is to run or resist or cover it up or project it. It is could also be described as paying attention with objective curiosity and a fondness for understanding the truth.
After allowing my true feelings to arise and wash (or blast or burn) through me, I simply observed them… they eventually subsided and I experienced a release… sometimes a tremendous one and sometimes just a sigh. This is an inner healing. Before I understood it I was experiencing this. I went through this process many times and the first 6 months were rocky to say the least, because the periods of rest between the arising of unmetabolized emotions and negative experiences was very short or even non-existent at times.
Sometimes after emerging from an emotional clearing the release would expand into an 'essential experience' such as a feeling of profound Love for everyone and everything, or a deep abiding peace and contentment like I had never known. Merging love, Certainty, Strength and Joy were occasional experiences as well. (mentioned in the Bible as the fruit of the Spirit).

Dark Night of the Soul
“Why hast thou forsaken me”?
After getting used to experiencing these blissful times it became even more difficult to endure the times when great waves like clouds of darkness would rise up and engulf my peaceful resting bliss. During these times I would lose hope and sight of the reality of the essential state I had been enjoying. This experience is referred to as the Dark Night of the Soul. So named by St John and he described it as a state of despair after having known truth and experienced ‘God’s‘ presence and peace and the reality of Him abiding in you when He disappears and leaves you barren. This is not actually what happens, but that is another story.

sebastian@integralhumans.org
]]> http://www.newciv.org/nl/newslog.php/_v294/__show_article/_a000294-000006.htm 2003-11-28T16:58:40Z 2003-11-29T03:36:29Z

This is one of the nicest sites I have seen on this subject... which is

This is one of the nicest sites I have seen on this subject... which isThis is one of the nicest sites I have seen on this subject... which is dear to my heart. I have been studying and applying Integral philosophy to my life since 1997 with smashing good results I might add. It can go a long way in helping you understand why people do what they do. It can also Help you disidentify with some of the compulsive behavior you consistenly engage in... Deprogram NOW! see it here: http://www.formlessmountain.com/integral.html
]]> http://www.newciv.org/nl/newslog.php/_v294/__show_article/_a000294-000005.htm 2003-11-24T17:59:50Z 2003-11-24T17:59:50Z

Blame - the assignment of cause to another person or object, which arises simultaneously with its opposite, victimhood...

Blame - the assignment of cause to another person or object, which arises simultaneously with its opposite, victimhood...Blame - the assignment of cause to another person or object, which arises simultaneously with its opposite, victimhood – the giving up of responsibility or cause. Designed to evoke sympathy and support by a being who feels disempowered, it seeks allies. Tho it is a “survival” move, it utterly fails because it perpetuates the state of lack it seeks to assuage. Like a Chinese finger trap, the noose tightens the more it is used.
Is there a way out of this trap? The answer is the same as with the finger trap. Apply energy in the opposite direction you have been. Turn the other cheek. Assigning blame is a projection, so apply the opposite. Introspectively take responsibility. Set yourself free.
This is an exercise. Do this contemplatively which is also the opposing action to the flippant use of blame.

Sebastian
]]> http://www.newciv.org/nl/newslog.php/_v294/__show_article/_a000294-000004.htm 2003-11-19T16:24:02Z 2003-11-19T16:24:02Z

I spin plates... For People to see... I must keep it going... Or I won't be me...

I spin plates... For People to see... I must keep it going... Or I won't be me...CIRCUS ACT
I spin plates
For people to see
I must keep it going
or I won't be me

I'm getting a bit tired
It’s no longer fun
What if I let the plates fall?
One by one

Oh no can't do that!
They'll boo me off the stage
Imagine all the rage
People paid good money
To watch me play my part

But I'm falling apart
nothing I can do
plates are falling down
broken right in two

I was so afraid to stop
performing for the crowd
I knew I'd lose their love
And now they're yelling loud!

I must summon all my courage
Let my heart be true. . .
Find the WAY that’s NEW

I let the plates go one by one
The audience walked out
But the freedom that I felt
Just caused my heart to shout

The empty hall sent echoes back
I knew not what to do.......
Imagine my delight and glee
When one tiny voice said
Bravo! . . . Good for YOU

Sebastian
]]> http://www.newciv.org/nl/newslog.php/_v294/__show_article/_a000294-000003.htm 2003-11-09T16:04:23Z 2003-11-09T16:08:28Z

A blahness seems to creep in, a perception blanket of wispy resistances to here Now Reality...

A blahness seems to creep in,
a perception blanket of wispy
resistances to here Now Reality...
A blahness seems to creep in,
a perception blanket of wispy
resistances to here Now Reality.
Sight Sees I am judging what is.
I feel this as suffering, pain.
This very contraction is suffering itself.
This very idea that This Moment is not enough
turns Heaven into hell.
In this Quiet Inquisitive Openness,
Sight works its subtle alchemy,
turning lead into gold.
Somehow choice meets Grace.
Their pact is dissolution of this knot
that wanting tied in me...


The Vibrant Womb of Perfect Rest
dawns and its Pervasive Permeation
plays rhythm and bass to the Melody of this Heart,
as it sings with Joyful anticipation of each Moment
in Its glorious arising...........

(my salty tears taste like honey)

Sebastian
]]> http://www.newciv.org/nl/newslog.php/_v294/__show_article/_a000294-000002.htm 2003-11-07T18:09:39Z 2003-11-07T18:09:39Z

...You might think this goes without saying, but many people are content to live within the social norms and pursue happiness through acquisition or fame or power etc. In other words, "love of the world". If you find yourself longing for something more, something deeper, something real...

...You might think this goes without saying, but many people are content to live within the social norms and pursue happiness through acquisition or fame or power etc. In other words, "love of the world". If you find yourself longing for something more, something deeper, something real...Urge for Wholeness, Love of Truth
You might think this goes without saying, but many people are content to live within the social norms and pursue happiness through acquisition or fame or power etc. In other words, "love of the world". If you find yourself longing for something more, something deeper, something real, then this quality is operative in you and you simply need to honor it. If you do not feel a longing for completion, why are you reading this? This flame of longing for Reality, Truth & Wholeness is the field that contains the ‘pearl of great value’. Be ready to ‘sell everything else’ to buy it. Allow it to be your guide. Express it through your actions and endeavors.

Tired? At some point in your journey you may find yourself saying: "Enough already!" Or, "I need a rest". I think this is to be expected and may be related to the need to gather more energy (see below). But it could also be complacency or indulgence. Cultivating the Love of Truth or the Urge to Wholeness may serve to wake you out of an unconscious indulgent sleepiness. If you find yourself becoming spiritually lazy, using Inquiry & Radical Honesty can help. (see below) Seeing the truth about our motivations will ‘set us free’. The less resistance, the sooner it can work.

Basic Trust, Faith, Courage
Transformation is change. Genuine Awakening involves changes on all levels of our lives. Weathering the insecurities & turmoil of a constantly changing sense of self and our perception of the world requires some kind of anchor or stabilizing influence. We must find a resource within to get through the storms of emotional turbulence, mental confusion and possibly disconcerting energetic releases. If we lack this quality, what can we do?

Boiled down and simplified? Turn Around! Almost every human directs most of their energy towards resisting or avoiding painful feelings or situations and seeking secure or ‘pleasurable’ ones. One thing most haven’t tried is to Stop Resisting! Accept Chaos. Open up to and fully experience negativity and darkness. On the other side of chaos is a new level of peace. Too radical?

OK, more compassionately… Are you stuck in a place where you value security and stability? Is it blocking your ability to seek Truth or accept what is Real? You probably need to do some work on healing your wounded child, desensitizing your narcissistic reactivity & neediness. The 'holding environment' you experienced as a very young child has a lot to do with how well you can trust the universe to sustain you. All types of Emotional Clearing work can help you gain more trust. You could find a spiritual teacher you can totally trust and allow that person to guide you through periods of turmoil. Using a symbol such as Jesus, the Holy Spirit or Buddha or a Higher Power can help you get through rough times during contemplation when you are uncovering disturbing aspects of your ego at work. Symbols such as these are repositories for a higher Truth. If we cannot find basic trust in our own being, we can reach out and Trust the Symbol that represents this Truth. This can work for certain people who have enough trust to place in the symbol in the first place. This is how faith works. However, Using any kind of method or system that involves projection can breed dependence which must also eventually be overcome.

If you cannot muster enough trust in a symbolic representation, you can begin to change your perceptions through many types of therapy where you are guided closely by a professional. There are lots of Emotional Healing modalities that are practiced by therapists.

Energy & Stamina
In the 'Teachings of Don Juan', Carlos Castaneda’s mentor told him that a warrior's most important task early on is the gathering of power (energy). This can be done in many ways on a few different levels. Basically, I see four main categories: 1. Physical (the body). Hatha Yoga is a first rate method. Aerobics can help a lot to increase endorphins. 2. Mental (contemplative). You gain mental energy or power when your conflicting beliefs are resolved. Mindfulness practice reduces chaos. 3. Emotional / Energetic. Emotional clearing (again) Practices like Tai Chi & Reiki etc. harmonise your energy system. 4. Spiritual. Spiritual 'energy' is transformative energy itself. When you rest fully in the Ground of Being or Stillness (as in deep meditation) the process of evolutionary transformation is taken to a new level.

Support & Confirmation
If you were going to jump off a cliff into unknown waters wouldn't you want to be able to speak to someone who has already jumped off that cliff? For years I languished at the edge of this cliff feeling alienated from the world, but not knowing how, or feeling able to move on. One day I met someone who was ready to leap as well and immediately we were both launched into a rapid series of transformational experiences... I don't think it would have been possible without the mutual support we gave to each other. This is the main impetus behind the founding of WFIH (Worldwide Fellowship of Integral Humans). I urge you to use the resources on the site to hook up with others on the Journey, and to share your experiences. It could make all the difference to someone at a critical time. The Course In Miracles says, "To have peace, give peace"... and we can extrapolate... to have Love, give Love. To have a friend, be a friend. To get support, give support.

You do not have to feel you are far advanced to reach out and give support or information or just a loving acceptance or embrace. Just as importantly, someone who is new to the Path or even a child can reveal an enlightening truth at any time. Out of the mouths of babes... It is spiritual pride to close yourself off from the possibility of seeing Truth in anything and everything.

Inquisitiveness & Radical Honesty
Develop the ability to question everything. Bring every motive and avoidance of reality to the light of truth in a radically honest way. Learn to face life with open arms and open eyes. This will rapidly change your perception of the world and yourself. Deep contemplative inquiry allows us to discover and dismantle our story and our programs or patterns. Questioning works especially well on belief systems that we have adopted through our cultural / social conditioning. For an excellent book on 'self inquiry' see the book by A H Almaas on the Self Stream page.

All of these avenues can be explored further in different places on the WFIH website... [link] see the Body Work page, the Energy Work page, Emotional Clearing pages & Integral Spirituality page. There are courses and tests and information available as well. Transformational Coaching is available.
~sebastian
]]> http://www.newciv.org/nl/newslog.php/_v294/__show_article/_a000294-000001.htm 2003-11-07T02:40:19Z 2003-11-24T17:47:01Z