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Gerald Vest: Have we lost touch with our touch? |
Category: Articles 15 comments 28 Jan 2005 @ 03:52 by astrid : So many ways....to touch.Actually, there's only one way to "communicate" and NOT touch and that's the way we call: CLINICAL. When you're cilincal, you don't touch anything inany way! All other ways is touching -in one way or the other, for better or worse! So very few know THAT thye touch even when NOT having gotten the permission! So few know to -or how to- ask for permission to touch. Not to mention that most of this "may I touch?" goes on beyond and above our Every-Day awareness... just like all other biological/phsyiological as well as Spititual Processes. As we grow in consiousness our awareness of touch and all the how to's connected to it. Big Topic. Almost never talked about. Yet in action -or not in action, but certainly there, all the time. 28 Jan 2005 @ 13:23 by jerryvest : So True, Astrid It is so true that few are aware of their touch or non-touch. I appreciate the opportunity to discuss the power of touch from a holistic perspective. Few professionals and care givers realize the consequences when the basic human need for touch is not offered or provided in such places as nursing homes, medical facilities, prisons, mental health programs, schools, etc. 28 Jan 2005 @ 14:53 by spiritseek : Fear of touch I believe because we have forgotten how important touch is that most people are frightened when they are touched or may be touched,accidently or on purpose. I too see how important touch is but I am also afraid the intention behind the touch may not be honorable. Why did this become a problem and to be feared? Some are born in families who touch and others are not,its mostly something your used to and don't think about. There are those who's thoughts go back to prior times of being touched wrongly and haven't correctly dealt with it. Past lives may also contribute to the problem. 28 Jan 2005 @ 15:01 by martha : Touching comes in many forms While physical touching is quite important one can also be touched in other ways: a smile, a kind word, a heartfelt response, a sweet smell, the written word, prayer, are but a few examples. Thanks for the article and a reminder to stay in touch with those we love which includes all of humanity. Welcome to NCN Gerald. martha@touchingmakesmyheartsing.com 28 Jan 2005 @ 15:33 by jerryvest : Fear of Touch by Professionals Spiritseek, you bring up a very important question related to the fear of touch, intentions and abusive touch. In a student social work forum on the web, we had a very extensive discussion on how touch became identified as a boundary issue and also some historical perspectives. I am not sure how 'past lives' contribute to this concern, but I am open to all possibilities. I introduced some suggestions on this student professional forum that I hope can add some light and some opportunities for professionals to begin opening up to the use of safe, skillful and appropriate touch with their clients. --------------- "Don't you think that it is time for us in social work to examine our use of conscious touch with others? This whole idea about not touching clients and others comes out of an old psychology/psychiatry/social work approach that does not even consider physical interaction or touch as a basic human need. We know that infants who are not touched just wither up and die. You probably remember the monkey studies and the reports of child care in England during WWII when parents were absent from the home and children did not receive touch--a new disease was discovered, Marasmus. There is great fear with touch by our professional community that continues to preach about the dangers of child abuse and neglect, but refuse to introduce the use of safe, skillful, and appropriate touch as a preventative--healthy, loving, respectful touch. We have a great opportunity to break out of these 'boundary issues' by introducing touch as an approach to health and wellbeing. In fact, there is no better stress management intervention than the use of touch or massage. I'm glad that you are willing to open up discussion in this area. Touch has for far too long been ignored in our practice as social workers. Almost every one I know is too frightened to use touch as a conscious intervention for self-care and for improving the quality of life, health, and relationships. See my website that discusses these issues from a holistic perspective." 28 Jan 2005 @ 19:38 by jerryvest : Touch in Many Ways Thank you for those thoughts and kind words, Martha. Indeed, I feel as though we are in total agreement about touch. In our touch program, we remind participants that when they are touching one person they are really touching everyone and everything whether they are aware of it or not. It is for this reason that we introduce breathing practices connected to our touch so that the vitality of our breath united with our touch can produce a deep body relaxation experience. In other words, we are one with all that is. 29 Jan 2005 @ 07:31 by nemue : Important message - thank you ...Yes we have lost touch with touch. Nothing nourishes the old, the young, the frail, and the sick like touching. For that matter all of us need to be touched and touch in return. It brings comfort and it also increases our level of awareness of self and self-worth. It is a connection that we need to make. I think that political correctness has also had a very negative impact in this area. People are afraid to touch to offer comfort for fear it will be misunderstood. A couple of years back whilst my dear Dad was alive her told me a story of being in a shopping centre. A small child was lost crying and distraught. In years past my Dad would have taken the child and given them a gentle hug to calm them down, to make them feel safe and then helped them find their parents. He didnt do this because of his fear that someone would think to quote I was a dirty old man. How sad is that. My Dad was a gentle, tactile man who only tried to bring comfort but in this case he didnt because of how others would respond. Sad dont you think? 29 Jan 2005 @ 12:03 by jazzolog : I'm Touched (No not in the head, Martha.) Welcome to the Logs. Wow at last, a dynamic guy who's older than I am! 29 Jan 2005 @ 13:44 by jerryvest : How sad, but so true Salama, thank you for sharing your story about your dad. It is so true what you say about the nourishing action of touching and being touched. And, it is so sad that we must hold our instincts back from a natural response to healing others. Unfortunately, I do include in our "guidelines for touch" that we must always ask permission to give touch for reasons you describe. Perhaps, we can improve our relationships in the world by introducing and teaching healthy, respectful touch. I, for one, have witnessed enough abuse, neglect, denial and disrespect by our social institutions, care givers and professionals. Thank you. 29 Jan 2005 @ 13:55 by jerryvest : I'm Touched ( but not in the head) Thanks for the kind words, Richard. It's exciting to me to participate in a global forum with colleagues, brother & sisters, who share common interests and concerns. And, more importantly, to examine ways that we can improve the conditions on our planet to make it habitable for everyone and everything. I like to think that we are on God's side since we are in Him and He in Us. 1 Feb 2005 @ 13:26 by swan : I am a therapist who in some ways has struggled to fit into the "clinical" world because it is so much in the mind. I dislike diagnosis. My treatment plan for people is the same, Love and light. I touch them with love and show them their own light. I stay present and don't try to drive treatment in a certain direction. All of this contrary to the rules that drive third party payment and clinical licensure. I am currently in a conflict with my supervisor because he wants me to put my work in a clinical box. It has gotten so bad that I have been looking for another job and the agency that I work for has hired a mediator to work with he and I because they want me to stay. The world of psychology in mainstream is so driven by the clinical that it has lost it's life. Fear of "touching" someone in the wrong way is big. There are so many rules against touching, physically ( be careful how you touch someone physically because it might be misconstued as sexual or inappropriate), emotionally( don't let clients see your emotions, you must remain strong) and spiritually ( don't talk about your spiritual beliefs). I know these rules came about because someone somewhere misused power, but that doesn't mean everyone is going to do the same. Healing takes place in the human connection, heart to heart. That can't happen without some form of touching, be it spiritual, emotional or physical. I will leave the field and find another way to touch peoples lives if I have to conform to rules. ( I say this whole heartedly and I have been a therapist for 18 years) 1 Feb 2005 @ 14:01 by jerryvest : Therapists & their Issues It is so true what you say about the limitations of the clinical people. Like you, I left mental health systems because of their labeling and rigid rules surrounding their practice. They don't practice what they preach about being non-judgmental, empathetic, and causing 'no harm' to their clients. They also are very much in control of the client's self-determination so what do they have to offer in terms of dignity, compassion and respect for their clients' rights. Like you suggest, they operate as the "Tin Man" without a heart. I know how hard it must be for you to practice in such a cold hearted system. I do believe that if therapists would open their hearts and learn to touch their clients that their lives would be more fulfilling. I've noticed as I visit many of our social systems that there is very little laughter, joy and playfulness. If I were to choose a therapist, I would want you as my guide. I hope you can work things out. 1 Feb 2005 @ 14:57 by swan : I got in trouble at work for laughing too much!!! I am all about laughter, joy and playfulness. I can do that where ever I go. It is funny you mention the Tin Man because I think he reincarnated into my boss! "They don't practice what they preach about being non-judgmental, empathetic, and causing 'no harm' to their clients. " That is so true! Mental health systems are all about numbers, as in diagnostic codes, number of sessions, insurance policy number...bla bla bla. BEing in the present moment with a client has nothing to do with time or diagnostic code. I hope that changes someday but the system has a long way to go before that happens. 1 Feb 2005 @ 16:47 by skookum : May we all resist the confining boxes society tries to put us in. May our efforts to expand the love and caring in our world never cease. 1 Feb 2005 @ 20:38 by swan : I second that, Marissa! 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28 Jan 2005 @ 01:05, by Gerald Vest