| Selected Words of Wisdom by Homer Simpson | 8 comments |
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28 Jul 2006 @ 11:05, by Enocia Joseph
Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else -- and it hasn't -- it's that girls should stick to girl's sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
-- Homer Simpson
You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work in real life -- uh, Christianity.
-- Homer Simpson, telling what religion the family belongs to
You're everywhere. You're omnivorous.
-- Homer Simpson, Homer's attitude to God
Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.
-- Homer Simpson
Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
-- Homer Simpson
"Phfft! Facts. You can use them to prove anything.
-- Homer Simpson
Operator, give me the number for nine-one-one!
-- Homer Simpson
It's like David and Goliath, only this time David won!
-- Homer Simpson
Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!
-- Homer Simpson
Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation.
-- Homer Simpson
You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.
-- Homer Simpson
Trying is the first step towards failure.
-- Homer Simpson
If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.
-- Homer Simpson
To alcohol! The cause of -- and solution to -- all of life's problems!
-- Homer Simpson
I want to share something with you -- the three sentences that will get you through life. Number one, "Cover for me." Number two, "Oh, good idea, boss." Number three, "It was like that when I got here."
-- Homer Simpson
They have the Internet on computers now?
-- Homer Simpson
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
-- Homer Simpson
I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
-- Homer Simpson
I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
-- Homer Simpson
I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
-- Homer Simpson
More at Homer Simpson Quotations and Homer Simpson Quotes
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Category: Thoughts
8 comments
28 Jul 2006 @ 11:30 by scotty : Some real Gems here !
You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.
-- Homer Simpson
heh heh heh
28 Jul 2006 @ 13:18 by vector8 : Homer Simpson is my hero
He really is. He has me in stitches.He's full of eternal wisdom. Hehehe.
Pity he's on tele early when I'm not at home.
Guess what? I've just received an email from someone who regularly sends quotes out to people on his email list. He asked me for a quote from one of my writings. Fancy that! Someone asking me for a quote!! Whatever next? Expecting me to write a book, maybe. ;-)
Love you,
EJ
28 Jul 2006 @ 13:43 by scotty : Whatever next indeed !!
Gosh - who'd think that someone would want to read a quote from little old you heh heh heh
A BOOK !!!! naaah ! Get off !!
(fabulous news - hmmm seems to me the universe is maybe trying to tell you something eh .... ! )
28 Jul 2006 @ 14:43 by vector8 : Bias
[[(fabulous news - hmmm seems to me the universe is maybe trying to tell you something eh .... ! )]]
You know your problem, Chris, you're just biased. And another thing, you only love me for my quotes. lol. Come to think of it the whole universe is biased. Stop picking on me Universe, it's not fair!
28 Jul 2006 @ 16:03 by scotty : Fair !!
Fair you say !
Oi - you chose to be who you are in this life didn't cha - put up with being adored then hahahaha
( psst - not just for your quotes - you got lovely eyes !!! *wink* )
29 Jul 2006 @ 11:57 by vector8 : Haha
[[( psst - not just for your quotes - you got lovely eyes !!! *wink* )]]
Oo-er missus. ;-)
29 Jul 2006 @ 12:37 by scotty : naah
don't worry - I'm armless !! : )
29 Jul 2006 @ 13:25 by vector8 : Armless?
There I was thinking you were backless. lol.
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