Schizophrenia, or The New You 4 comments

13 Nov 2009 @ 04:07, by Jeffrey Trenton Crace "How strange it is to be anything at all!" -- Jeff Mangum Feel that pressure to be just one, single, solitary, indivisible person? Feel the terror at finding yourself a completely different person? Feel that fear of failing to persist through time as...something? The fear of looking out from a brand new place, leaving the warmth of your former body behind? Today I realized I possess all of these limitations, and they are highly charged. I observed a deep terror seething within me. I brace for total collapse, anticipating the horrible realization that I am someone else; that I am a different person, a different body, a gust of wind, a platypus egg, a negative thought existing somewhere between the Sun and Mercury, a memory, a spirit faking omniscience, a planetary entity arching my love across the plains of my home, a father without children, an orphan, daybreak. I could be anything because I am nothing. I am everything, any whole to speak of. I made these observations of myself amongst a classroom of fifth-graders today. I found myself growing closer to them as result, and growing more comfortable taking responsible for the entire space. Why? I was less afraid to BE them! We live in a society full of smiling people that worship Charles Darwin in their hearts, and Jesus on the streets. We poison the ones who find themselves without one single, dominant personality. We call them schizophrenics. The psychiatric chemical treatment starts with the contention that these people need help. I concur. But the only trouble is that they are not in control of who they are. They are not willing. They resist. Resistance is always the first step to insanity. Surrender is always the first step to truth. BE EMPTY. LET GOD LOOK RIGHT THROUGH YOU.

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