| 11 Jun 2004 @ 17:02, by Scotty|
Society trains us to avoid certain feelings.
Boys are taught that being a man means being tough (not wimpy), which translates as don't cry or show hurt.
Women are taught that showing anger means you're a bitch, so "be nice."
As a result, we feel fear or shame when feelings arise that we believe will be objectionable... a man feeling sensual for example !
We try to shape and mold an image that we hope will gain acceptance and love, rather than rejection or disdain
As we distance ourselves from our genuine feelings and wants, we betray what are actually the essential aspects of ourselves.
The result of all this is we become and remain more distant from others than ever before.
The refusal to show the tender and vulnerable parts of ourselves keeps us isolated, hidden, and alone.
By not embracing and exposing who we really are - our tenderness, our fears, our strengths, our limits - we end up becoming armored in our defenses.
We end up using anger to hide our fear and shame - or we withdraw into a world of silent judgments toward people, perhaps we even end up believing that we're superior.
Spiritual teacher J. Krishnamurti made the profound observation that, "If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation."
Being ourselves really means being authentic. And authenticity demands that we connect with the ever-deeper layers of our felt-experience. The more we find the courage to become willing to uncover what's happening inthe depths of ourselves - the more we become less split inside.
We begin to heal the conflict between who we actually are and who we're trying to be.
As we let go of our self-image of who we think we should be, we discover -- finally -- the vibrant world of who we actually are.