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2 Aug 2004 @ 10:57, by craiglang. Diary
To see beyond, look within. To see above look below. To see the large view the small, and to see the many look at the few.
Some thoughts on the changes upon us, and how they are indeed in progress: Both large and small, pivotal events seem to be manifesting in our personal experiences, as they are in the events of the world.
My own sense is that in many important ways, they are one and the same. As within, so without. Changes in the large and changes in the small mirror eachother. Read More
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14 Mar 2004 @ 16:00, by craiglang. Diary
According to traditional Christian teachings, the season of Lent is one of preparation and austerity. It is a time when the faithful prepare for the tragedy of the Cross, and the promise of the Resurrection. I thought about this in a slightly different way this morning, as I looked out the window at a gray March sky.
The first word that entered my mind, to describe the morning, was that very term, "austere". It was a bleak, blustery sky, with a cold wind out of the north. There were a few flakes of snow floating in the air. The brief flicker of spring warmth seemed to have been snuffed out by the chill resurgence of winter, a reminder that winter was not finished yet.
I have never considered myself a traditional follower of any religion, even though I was raised a Lutheran. But I was taught all the traditional teachings - including those about Lent. And somehow this day seemed to perfectly echo the traditional lenten theme - a time of sparseness and of preparation for the challenge and the hope that lies ahead.
I had been sick for most of Friday and Saturday, with a roaring sinus infection. It had forced me to miss a day of work at a time when our project is at it's busiest. It had also forced me to miss the monthly Minnisota MUFON UFO investigators meeting. And thus, I was not be able to give the talk I had put together (those who know me, will know that thngs have to be pretty extreme for me to miss a MUFON meeting... :-) ... ). All in all, it was a less than pleasant turn of events from what had eariler promised to be a fun and interesting weekend.
The day on Saturday was instead spent mostly asleep. When awake, it was occupied with sipping echinachea tea and trying not to feel too disappointed at the turn of events. It was a time of trying to stay focused in the present moment - and I realized that perhaps, this was the lesson that the Universe was trying to teach me on this day.
Maybe the point of the day was the necessity of avoiding attachment to outcomes. Maybe the lesson was once again, that of mindfulness. It was one of those lessons that each of us can espouse so easily, especially after reading books such as Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now". Yet when the chips are down, it can be so hard to actually put this wisdom into practice. Perhaps, I decided, the Universe felt that once again, I needed yet another lesson in how to be Mindful - and so this one came in the form of a sinus infection and a missed UFO investigators' meeting.
The next day, Sunday, I felt alot better - still a bit cruddy, but at least passably human. I managed to drain my sinuses by means of a hot shower (a small portable Roto-Rooter would have been nice), to eat breakfast and to get ready for Church. The sky was gray and depressing outside, and closely matched my mood. A very gray cloud hung over this human as he got dressed and ready.
A short time later, having eaten breakfast, Gwyn and I were off to church - with me looking forward to my usual nap during the sermon :-). But today, I was captured by the message in an entirely different way. The sermon was on Lent - a very brief(!) talk by the minister on the emptiness that seems to come in preparation for the Christian holy days. I smiled as the gears started turning in my mind (and as this article began to take shape).
One key point was that the time of preparation, then of pain, ends up as a time of resurrection and of hope. The master theme of the story is just this - that what, at one moment, may seem to be the most hopeless, can actually turn out to be our greatest joy. And this was the message that got my attention. And as the service ended, and a brief social hour began, my spirits felt trememdously uplifted by this thought.
As we stepped out of church and headed off to our next destination, a nearby lunch counter for after-church coffee and conversation, I noticed that the clouds had begun to part. The sun shone through the breaking cloud deck. Blue sky was starting to replace the gray of the morning. To me, it was as if somehow God was accenting the message I had just heard, that after darkness and gray comes hope and light.
I looked up at the sunburst and smiled as we got into the car. Life in the present moment can truly be sunny and beautiful. Read More
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9 Mar 2004 @ 21:02, by craiglang. Diary
Each year, I attend one or more SF conventions, partly as a way to meet experiencers, partly as a way to drum up a little business - and yes, partly as a time to let the hair down and party a little bit. This year was no exception.
There were some unique elements to this year, however. As always, this was a weekend of creativity at its finest. yet it seemed to me that, even more so than in years past, there was a sense of free-association in the air. It was a sense similar to what I have noted at the Rennaisance festival, and other creative fairs. And it's power was an overwhelming joy to behold.
What I noticed was the variety of themes, all of which combined into a synergy of time-periods, and all rolled into one SF/Fantasty universe. Klingons, Babylon 5 characters, Knights and Fair Maidens, and many others from many assorted SF/Fantasty metaphors, all combined to make up a multiverse of creativity.
There was also a spiritual/emotional undertone to it, and this was what seemed to be the most impacting. There were several things at the convo - the music, drama, etc., that tugged at the heartstrings. And at the end of the last day I left with the feeling that one has when seeing an emotional drama of the heart.
The other thing that occurred, especially on the last day was a powerful emphasis on fostering further creativity. Several authors and publishers were there, giving workshops on writing characters, getting published, and other aspects of creating SF and fantasty as well as non-fiction. Many of us felt the stirrings of new (or perhaps previously-dormant) SF story-lines rattling around in our brains.
It was an encouraging time, and a refreshingly creative change of pace. For anyone who wants a pleasant escape from the workaday grind, and a neat creative outlet, I highly recommend a sci-fi con. They are a fun little piece of the universe beamed down to Earth.
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30 Jan 2004 @ 00:26, by craiglang. Diary
It's been one of those days. The type of day when clients no-show, people everywhere seem to be crabby, and bad news arrives. In this case, the news was that I didn't get selected as a speaker for an upcoming conference. I had looked forward to being a presenter there, on what seemed to be some pretty interesting new topics (at least I thought so...). So the news was pretty disappointing.
What's important about this is not the news itself, but the timing. It comes at a time when I have been doing alot of study of mindfulness and nonattachment. So to me, this comes as the first big test. How non-attached to outcomes does this student and seeker remain as he digs out from the rubble and shakes the dust off his sandals? ... :-)
To keep it all in perspective, it is certainly not the end of the world, just a bit of a bummer. Yet I believe that God gives us what we need, when we need it - though almost never in the way that we might anticipate. All in all, this was a small to moderate pot-hole in the road of life, and a lesson at what is probably an important and teachable moment.
Still, can't one just read a good book on the subject?... :-) Read More
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14 Jan 2004 @ 09:49, by craiglang. Diary
We just got an upgrade to our cable service - and last night, just before going to bed, I was channel surfing on some of the newer upper-band digital cable channels. One channel (one of the few, actually) that really seems to be worth it's bandwitdth is the Science channel. It has refreshingly little editorialism, relatively few commercials, and alot of very interesting content. It does an excellent job of describing some of the leading edge topics in science.
Last night, what captured my attention was a documentary on some of the current questions in cosomology. How did we start? And where are we headed? The effect it had on me was to get my mind into a beautiful "searching mode". This was the state of mind I was in just before I went to sleep. And in the morning as I awoke, I found this "searching" sensation continuing.
I can only describe it as the compelling sense of there being so much more beyond what we know now and the powerful desire to somehow be a part of that. It is a feeling that I can only describe as a yearning for the sky - to opening to the something beyond. I felt as though if I opened or expanded my mind, I could sense the presence of something just beyond the known.
I imagine that this is the sense that all through history, has driven explorers, scientists and mystics. It moves us to push the envelope, to look over the next hill, to allow our minds to "boldy go" beyond the boundaries of our world. It is the compulsion to explore, the need to see, experience and understand just a little bit more.
This morning I also read some more in the newspaper about the possible US plans for a rejuvinated space program (which I think is fascinating, regardless of political views), and the latest photographs from the Mars rover. Checking my e-mail in the morning, I noted that there was another report of something fascinating that another UFO witness had observed in the sky (the Minnesota skies have been somewhat busy as of late). The effect was to fill me with a great sense of mystery, wonder and hope.
As I continued through the day, I again thanked God for the sense of curiosity and questing, the love of mystery, and the joyous feel of "something beyond" the known. And I can only rejoice in this wonderful property of the mind and soul that helps make us so uniquely and beautifully human. Read More
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7 Jan 2004 @ 12:54, by craiglang. Diary
An interesting series of questions passed through my mind in the last week or two - mostly relating to the ups and downs of the corporate environment - what I lovingly call CubeWorld.
I had a couple of weeks off for the Christmas holiday, so I was able to spend much of my time writing, seeing clients, and spending time with Gwyn enjoying things that we wouldn't normally be able to do. It was a delight spending the day at the Science Museum, seeing alot of movies, etc... It was an enjoyable break, and best of all, I had no thoughts about the current goings-on at the company. Not a thought of corporate politics passed through my brain.
I talk about how I enjoy working in the design engineering of healing technology. Yet with the next breath I grouse about working in CubeWorld. Anyone notice a duality there?... :-)
Like anything else, CubeWorld has both advantages and disadvantages. Many of the disadvantages are obvious - politics, a power and ego orientation, schedule pressure, a hierarchical food chain, and all of the foibles that go along with it. And it was this that I so much enjoyed being away from. For two weeks, I got to live for me - no boss(!!!) It was wonderful to work with clients without any agenda of a company getting in the way. I could concentrate on writing and service.
But the other thing I noticed was that when you get away from the world of the workplace and start to work for yourself, your overall people exposure drops way off. Being a bit of an extrovert, I find that I need alot of people contact on a daily basis. That's probably what I like most about the day-job, and why I'm still there. It's the people I work with.
During the days that I spent working on my book and writing articles, I found myself going from one end of the day to the other, hardly seeing a soul. It was clear to me that if this became a regular thing, depression might not be too far off. The people-outlet problem is described by quite a few work-at-home'ers and telecomuters, and by therapists who are in private practice. While CubeWorld has some very clear disadvantages, it does at least provide you with an automatic people-outlet.
As I contemplate the coming changes, I can imagine myself at some point possibly going into private practice as a healer, hypnotherapist, and maybe a freelance programmer. And last week I concluded that it will be a challenge to restructure life such that there is sufficient regular people contact to prevent the sense of isolation. Clearly, when going it alone, some other creative type of people-outlet will be needed to replace that aspect of CubeWorld.
So, chalk this up as a little lesson that I learned from a tiny little dry run of the freelance life - two weeks of time off from CubeWorld. Read More
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28 Dec 2003 @ 04:20, by craiglang. Diary
In the last couple of days, for many reasons, I have spent quite a bit of time re-studying the material in "The Power of Now" (PON, for short). Some events on NCN, including the recent dialog regarding "evil medical companies" (to quote a friend on this topic) has caused me a bit of spiritual grief. Grief often fosters growth, and these events have seemed to "invite" me to return to Tolle's lessons. What can we learn about human nature, human affairs, peace studies, etc...? How can we live in the Now, in the face of political, economic and moral strife?
I spent some time over Christmas and the days surrounding it, going back into PON. And in doing so, I recognized some interesting things about human nature. According to Tolle, we all want to feel better about the past. Too often we let the past and the future define us. We want to "expose the lies", "speak the truth", "fight for justice", "balance the scales", and numerous other initiatives in our relations with others. Usually, this involves "us and them", and we always want a future where "we" triumph over "them". For to fail would mean a scenario where we were in some way "defeated", "enslaved" or somehow have a negative change in our future status.
But, from PON, I discern that the "lies", "truth", "justice", etc. are all manifestations of our views of "our" relationships with "them". We create our own reality, so therefore, for those relationships to be real, they must be created by us. They are in fact, based upon our beliefs about events in the past and our anticipation of events in the future. Tolle reminds the reader that in reality, we live NOW, and unless we choose otherwise, these past/future threads need not bind us. In fact, for us, they need not even exist.
Tolle speaks of more - asking us to step back and observe our thoughts. He suggests that when we are told that we are wrong, or that we see things that annoy us, to witness the anger, to ask "what am I experiencing at this moment?" What he states is that we quickly discover that we are more than that anger, more than the need to correct this particular wrong, more than the ties to the past and future. Simply put, we ARE.
He suggests observing, then stepping back even further, to observe the observer. What is occurring? Tolle suggests that all thoughts and emotions are simply patterns - or as another author, Steven Wolinski puts it: simply "condensations in the zero-point mind-field".
Tolle suggests stepping back even further, observing the relationships between patterns, observers, and the space between them. For in that space between is the truth. In the void is where enlightenment can be found. In the gaps between thoughts is pure consciousness - the still, small voice of God.
Several PSI events I have been involved in - readings that I have recieved, and one or two perceptions that I have had myself, have involved percieving someone walking along an edge. On one side is smooth sailing, an uncomplicated table top, maybe a golden time of prosperity. On the other side is chaos and the abyss. And in between is a balancing act - as one travels along the edge, moving from past to future. That edge is the present moment, and it is a delicate balance: to be involved in the world, while not being fully identified with it. We are not the affairs of the world - they are of the past and future. In fact, as we move along the edge, we simply "ARE".
Another metaphhorical vision that kept coming to mind all of yesterday was of something detached or disconnected - like a branch separated from a tree, or a rock removed from a mountain. As part of the greater whole, the smaller thing is a functional part of that whole. It was part of the flow of energy, and the consciousness of that whole. Removed, it is simply an inert bit of "stuff".
I had earlier been considering backing off from some engagements, perhaps even including NCN. What I realized was that in a number of cases, while this might remove a little bit of pain, it also would remove a great source of joy and wisdom, because the flow of life contains both. In the flow of life - being in the now - we are like part of the river - experiencing the vitality of life. And it is something that each of us needs in order to fully experience life in the world.
With truth often comes pain - and then wisdom and light. And just for a moment we "get it" - as I realized, just a little bit, while spending time with Tolle's book. And then, as another sage (not sure who) said, we must return to chop wood and carry water. We once again look through the the glass darkly. Life goes on - one struggling breadcrumb at a time. Read More
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1 Dec 2003 @ 11:35, by craiglang. Diary
Yesterday, on a beautiful afternoon as we were driving home to Minneapolis from visiting family in Wisconsin, we were treated to one of those rare beautiful, crystal clear late-fall days. A stark blue/white and gray sky, the visibility infinite, and a sharp, cold wind out of the North. Driving along U.S. Highway 10, the road winds in, out, and through the central Wisconsin hills. At times, when the road tops over a hill, you can see forever. It is a beautiful sight - the stark november sky, leafless trees, and brown, harvested fields. It leaves one with a sense of wonder and mystery at this world God has provided for us.
And with wonder is a sense of mystery. Why? Several interesting things occurred in recent weeks that have served to focus my attention on the mysterious and the climactic. At the most general, there is simply the year-end - the approach of the winter solstice, holy days in nearly all religions. Yet there is a more specific sense. As one travels, one can sometimes sense a deep underlying interconnectedness. A sense that each house, each person, each small business along the roadside - each thing is interconnected with all others. One can sometimes sense an almost-visible web of being that interconnects each person, and each work of humanity or nature in an almost-tangible way.
Another mystery is one that perhaps being an anomaly researcher affords, that one might not otherwise notice. This comes from having looked into a number of rural sightings and close encounters in recent months. Among residents of the area, these are seldom discussed - especially with outsiders. Yet, sighting report databases indicate that the area we were driving through has had a bountiful history of recent anomaly sighting/encounter reports. So as I drove through the rolling hills, fields and woods of central Wisconsin, I could only wonder - In which of the farm-homes in the distance, did someone have a truly fascinating story to tell?
Sunset occurred as our car crested the tallest hill in the region. And in an interesting compliment to the mystery of a few moments before, we were rewarded with a spectacular portrait of the works of God. We were afforded a spectacular view of the western horizon - a colorful contrast of red sky and deep-blue clouds. It was a sight to never forget. A delightful dose of mystery and wonder on a Sunday afternoon. Read More
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 9 Nov 2003 @ 14:31, by craiglang. Diary
This week we had the sad duty of putting to rest Miss Lady Lass. Missy was the second of our two loving, but quite senior Shetland Sheepdogs. She follows her mother Lady Molly Brown into the canine afterlife.
Like Molly, Missy was our loving companion for nearly twelve years. She kept us company throughout all of that time, with an endless supply of unconditional love. She was there with us through thick and thin, through good times and times that were less so.
For twelve years, she did her job of barking at pizza deliverers and paper boys, and making sure that the backyard never became overrun with squirrels. And all the time, her playful yip brightened our lives.
She passed away unexpectedly on Monday morning, from a sudden, massive infection. We will miss her dearly.
Fare well, Miss Lady Lass. Read More
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30 Sep 2003 @ 22:10, by craiglang. Diary
Today was one of those days that I don't want to repeat too often. It is days like this when business associates get on your case about something that - in retrospect - is trivial. It is a day when the most difficult clients appear out of nowhere - and when software on the PC on my desk doesn't work - screwing up in the strangest of ways. Politics seems to be at its worst on days like today. And by late evening, I wondered what karma I was somehow paying off today... :-)
On days like today, I am reminded once again of "The Power of Now", the power of expectations, and the importance of mindfulness. And finally, at the end of the day, as I fitfully attempted my evening meditation, I asked myself, just why was today bad? The answer can only be that it's because I defined it to be that way. And in the end, it was through my "badness filter" that I saw it as that.
Now, having a business associate grouse at you for over an hour is never pleasant. But at that point, it can help alot to engage the mindful observer - to witness the person talking to the physical me, and myself listenning, (and wishing that "Myself" was somewhere else at that moment). And now, as I sit here writing this diary entry, I need to ask - did it really make any difference? Is the real me, the soul-self, any different because of this annoying character? No.
Today was one of those days where one needs to remind one's self that we are really spiritual beings having a human experience. And hopefully tomorrow's human experience will be a little bit kinder, and alot more fun... :-) Read More
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