New Civilization News - Category: Relationships    
 Remembering Mother's Day11 comments
picture 1 May 2008 @ 15:34, by joanaroma. Relationships
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 Getting Drunk For Dr. King7 comments
picture24 Jan 2008 @ 09:58, by jazzolog. Relationships
Beginners, make your will firm and strong: twenty-four hours a day, wield the sword of positive energy to overcome demons and curses, cutting off psychological afflictions. Look continuously into a saying, and you will spontaneously discover the light of mind, containing heaven and earth, every land completely revealed.


When you try to set your mind to it, you miss it. When you stir your thoughts, you turn away from it. If you do not try and you do not stir, you are living in stagnant water. What do you do?

---Zen saying

The world is a passage back to God, that is the only reason it is here.

---Michael Murphy

This rather infamous picture was taken last year at a Gangsta Party on Martin Luther King Day at Clemson University. [link]

A couple weeks ago I wrote on an interest that developed in childhood about faraway places and people of other nationalities and races. I titled it Full Frontal Feminism, after Jessica Valenti's book, because I credit that interest for my involvement in civil rights from the late 1950s on. Almost immediately I heard from a friend of mine here in Athens, who teaches American National Government, The Politics of Law, Constitutional Law, Constitutional Politics, Civil Liberties, and American Political Thought at Ohio University. She urged me to join college faculty around the country to ask students to stay away from "Race Parties" that were being planned by kids. Since they get a day off, why not party on and get loaded to celebrate?

I thought about it for a while and took a look at an invitation to one that was being set up off campus here. It said there'd be plenty of fried chicken and 40 ounce cans of malt liquor, and all the party-goer had to do was dress up as his or her favorite Black stereotype. OK, sounds very American collegiate...but is it any more wrong than that? Were people of Greek derivation angry about Toga Parties? Would I be mad about an Erik The Red party, at which kids would dress up as Swedes in fur rugs and helmets with buffalo horns sticking out---even though I know no Swede actually ever wore such a helmet? Didn't all peoples have to go through this crap when we came to the Land of the Free?

What was the intention of the party? That's what I wanted to know...I mean, besides an excuse to get blasted. Martin Luther King DID like fried chicken, and college kids like to dress up for theme parties. What's the harm---as long as there is a kind of tribute to the culture honored in some way? It bothers me that the minstrel tradition and Amos 'N' Andy, where whites dressed up in black-face (and even some blacks did to emphasize stereotypical features) and spoke in dialect, are looked down on. I mentioned in the previous article about the banning in the United States of Disney's Song Of The South. Isn't all that going too far?

But isn't this different? I admit that I've welcomed the Martin Luther King holiday to finish cleanup from Christmas and recover a bit more from that hectic season. However, our family always spends time listening to the words of Dr. King and usually music inspired by the work that he did and the mission of his life. We reflect on the fact he was assassinated for this here in this country, murdered as were other leaders who advocated Change during that time. I'm not at a place where I could go to a party about such things, unless it were a pretty serious gathering.

Nevertheless, I still wasn't ready to raise a stink about kids having parties. There is something to celebrate about what progress has been made for civil rights. I can get into partying about the contributions of Black Culture. I like it better if there are Black people there and we all enjoy each other. The best parties I ever went to were the mixed explorations we enjoyed in the mid-60s. Will I ever forget 50 people packed in my living room, dancing to 45s until dawn, and then out came the vacuum cleaner and everybody cleaned the whole place before going home? How about that barbecue at Shugie's front lawn in Greenwich, and the low lights and Arthur Prysock LPs indoors? Man, celebrating race can be beautiful!  More >

 Need Some Cheer? Here's Dennis!26 comments
picture6 Dec 2007 @ 14:13, by jazzolog. Relationships

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself.

---Erich Fromm

A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes.

---Mark Twain

And this our life, exempt from public haunt,
finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks.
Sermons in stones, and good in everything.

---William Shakespeare

Everyone likes him. People even smile at the mere mention of his name. Those I talk to, both liberal and conservative, say he seems to be right about everything. He has years and years of political experience. He started out even poorer than Lincoln, but as inspired and dedicated. So why doesn't he have a snowball's chance of a Presidential nomination? The rightwingnuts call him a socialist and crazy, not to be taken seriously. Maybe he's too short to be President. Maybe we're too frightened to have the courage of our convictions.

The breath of fresh air on AM talk radio named Ed Schultz put out an invitation to all the candidates, both parties, to come on his show for the entire 3 hours and answer phone calls. Kucinich showed up right away---and the show is in North Dakota! Nobody else has. The program was a revelation of serious discussion on every issue you or I could think of...and Dennis had answers. Maybe you can stream it somehow at Ed's site...and he rebroadcast it once. [link] If you're reading this today, you may notice Kucinich will be on again this afternoon...and so will Barack Obama. It's on from 3 until 6 in the Athens area...770 AM.

But fairly quickly into that 3 hour interview, it became clear Dennis was not alone in the studio with Big Eddie. Elizabeth Kucinich was there too, as she usually is wherever he goes. A couple days before the show I got a phonecall from a friend in The Queens, who still does her reading in books instead of here. She said, "Have you SEEN Dennis Kucinich's wife?!" No, I said, I'm not sure I knew whether or not he was married. My friend said---and if you can say this with a Queens dialect it sounds better---"She's absolutely gorgeous!! She must be 7 feet tall with this long red hair down to her waist!" That was enough to nearly blind my imagination, but I persevered. I had seen Dennis Kucinich once in person, when he still was mayor of Cleveland...and while he seemed kind of cute then, I couldn't imagine him attracting someone so statuesquely beautiful. "And she's about 30 years younger," Belle said. Oh oh.

So on this interview, Eddie---also a redhead---couldn't seem to resist trying to get a word or 2 out of this curious creature by the candidate's side. Finally she said a riveting English accent. She's from the UK? With all the distinguished bravado the Brits can muster, whenever they talk about anything, Elizabeth began to give her views on the topics. Soon the couple was talking as a team. I said to myself, "This would be the most perfect First Lady in the nation's history." Folks, she is positively brilliant!

But of course I don't want to be sexist. I've tried to stifle my interest in a potential First Lady, and continue only to talk about Dennis Kucinich. Like a lot of us, I suppose I secretly support Kucinich, but John Edwards is there too...and hasn't Biden been wonderful lately? So it's getting interesting...but here comes the cheer part: in yesterday's Washington Post is a long article about the Kuciniches, how they met, fell in love, and what's it all about. I wouldn't recommend this reading to you, except that I found it absolutely delightful. My congratulations to Libby Copeland, who seems to have gotten caught up in their energy and writes it for us just perfectly. This is a political article about falling in love~~~  More >

 Pete5 comments
picture21 Jun 2007 @ 23:37, by quinty. Relationships
At this juncture in the Age of Bush (six years down, two to go) the gap between those who still believe and those who at least doubt has become so wide that any serious debate would require a return to rock hard fundamentals. And the fundamental facts and truths are so deeply buried beneath heaped-on piles of rhetoric the thought of going back to those seminal beginning can be mind boggling. Not after all this time. For a giant earth mover would be required to expose the actual story beneath all the heaped up rhetorical fallacies, six years now into the Age of Bush.  More >

 How to Select Your True Life Mate1 comment
3 Jun 2006 @ 19:59, by purelove1. Relationships
Human love in marriage or relationships cannot last unless it divinely expresses itself. If you do not have the power of magnetizing divine love whose source is alone in God, marriage will fail to entertain. That means the husband should start quitting some of his baseball, football, hockey, boxing, and all the sports of the world. I have a friend who spends six hours watching football games when they are on; it is one football game after another, but married people are supposed to entertain each other and care for each other.

Married couples fail to respect one another and when that happens their marriage goes on the rocks. Beauty, sex charms, intellectuality, personal magnetism, and culture are not enough to happily keep married couples together when "divine love" is not there. What does that mean? Love is not a human quality. Love is God himself. When you love people you have allowed God to flow through you momentarily. It is He who loves when you think you love your mother; it is He who loves your mother; it is He who loves your father and; it is He who loves your children. You are being blessed being the recipient of that love. You must understand it is God who loves the wife through the husband and it is God who loves the husband through the wife. If neither one is spiritual nor you find a spiritual man or a spiritual woman... do not get married; you will not be loved. This is what every mother and every father should teach their children. In life we get what we deserve; but remember you have the power of prayer and if the power of prayer cannot change your husband or your wife, it would surely change you. There is one problem in married life; do you know what that is? You always want to be understood, isn’t it? You can not; no more than you can understand each other. We have twelve billion neurons in our brain, each brain has different neurons. Therefore to be able to communicate with one another the psycho neuron biochemistry in the brain must be in tune. So how are you going to change each others brain? To get in tune with each other you will need to change the chemistry of your brain by meditating together.

Every thought, every action is based upon a burst of energy which directs the neuron biochemistry into our brain and unless we get in tune with love, it is impossible to understand each other except through that love. Love embraces, love understands all things, and it becomes intuitive. Many people have so many prejudices in their minds simply because they are frustrated. Do you know where those frustrations come from? They come from the inner loneliness which your husband or your wife can never fill. God has made his creation full proof...without Him you will never know love. The less love you have the lonelier you feel. The lack of love is the lack of God. Your soul has forgotten its relationship with God through countless incarnations. In your subconscious mind deeply buried is the remembrance of His bliss. We can get in touch with this bliss through meditation. Someone asked about marriage in front of two thousand people: “When the romantic spark in marriage has dulled and it seems that I as a wife can never do enough or be enough or pray enough for help because I don’t have enough energy, enthusiasm or time for unselfish devotion anymore; are we both to simply act out our role as spiritual marriage because it’s right to do so without any feeling with it? How can we really make this relationship more meaningful when I feel spiritually drained like a draft horse in harness with my fellow teammate? We are certainly not mounting God-ward with wings as eagles.” Now, this woman was very poetical, that was magnificent. Well, my dear, the moment we enter into this world we enter into the collar of a straight jacket, remember that.

Here are the qualifications for a perfect marriage; a marriage so utterly beautiful that every day you are in love without anger and in total union with your husband or wife; you can feel, think and act together in perfect unison. How can you achieve this? Do you believe it is possible? The wise masters say it is but there is a little cleaning up first before you get married and ...that is the eight menaces or snares of the heart. These are the mild forms, anger, jealousy, hostility, hatred, and cynicism, acts of violence, nagging and caustic remarks. Also included are guilt, shame, fear, insecurity, and the worst of all... gossip. Each time you criticize anybody you are automatically in tune with that person and you are pulling out the bad karma from him or her. You are taking to yourself the very bad qualities of that person. You have no idea how you are being connected. We are all connected with our brain with fibers of energy and we are one with this creation and we share the good and the bad according to how we tune in. The affection for gossiping is the affection for meanness to harm the souls of others. Even though the criticized is harmed, the one who criticizes is harmed even more. While the unjustly criticized becomes untainted, the evil wrongdoers are fated by the inescapable law of karma and are condemned by their own conscience. They are convicted to live in mental anguish in their own self-inflicted jailhouse. These are sick states of the mind and condemnation has to be cleaned up before you get married. Pride of family, race prejudice and smugness which means the highly satisfied who knows everything. Therefore that grinding process which you do not like in married life is totally natural. You are helping one another to gradually remove all the kinks and limitations you have.

If you refuse to do it in your married life and you get divorced and get married again and then divorce and get married again. Do you know where you will be in your next life? a monastic order and you won’t be able to get out. This bondage which forces you to reincarnate life after life has to be worked out into the monastic order or to the married life. The best advice for selecting your mate is carefully analyzing the forces of attraction. Most people want to make an independent choice in choosing their marriage companion. This is what a parent should tell his son, or daughter when asked for advice. What are the qualities that a man should look for when he is choosing a wife? "She must be home loving and affectionate as the homing pigeon, with the loyalty of a dog, with the purity of a dove and the wisdom of an elephant, and have the sweet voice of the nightingale." What are the qualities that women should look for when she is choosing a husband? “The faithfulness of a dog, the strength and bravery of a lion, the wisdom of the elephant, be like the homing pigeon who loves his home.” Most young couples are attracted to each other because of good looks and similarities of things in common. For example, we "love" each other because we enjoy the same kind of profession and she makes a perfect business-companion. We also love the same types of movies and sports. We share the same interests in music. She understands my business which is great having a wife interested in my profession. A wrong choice could hurt my business. Never marry on impulse or when you are excited as you can mistake the pleasure of the senses for love. This type of pleasure will mislead the romantically involved. If you marry for beauty alone the rule is those attracted by beauty and good looks soon part after the good looks wane and then a pretty face could look ugly. When a woman marries for money alone or a man that would love to marry into money usually hears these words, “she married me for my money.” You can’t get rich quick marring for money. Humiliation goes with the territory for the man and the woman becomes miserable because she is never gratified with her mate; and some of these husbands beat their wives. There are those who would gain money by climbing the social ladder into society by marring for social position and these too usually end in failure. Pure love is the greatest love potion there is. You can only describe pure love when you feel it. Pure love is free from conditions and beautifies the mind and the body.

Copyright-2005-Gary Zalben - You may reprint this article as long as the author/source is kept intact. For additional life skills advice visit my website at [link]  More >

 Love is the Key43 comments
29 Apr 2006 @ 17:56, by poetsong. Relationships
Two men intersected as they walked through Kane Park. The blond man was dressed in shorts and a white tank top. He seemed in his late twenties; the other was dark haired, in his thirties, and dressed like a mannequin from the GAP.

They were alone, and by now seemed rather bored with the day, and wanted someone to talk to. The dark haired man asked, "Excuse me...are you red, or are you blue?"

"I'm not quite sure what you are talking about?" the blond replied.

"Oh, don't feign ignorance with me. I want to know if you are red or’s important!"

The blond said, "My name is Ken, if it makes any difference. Are you visiting, or do you live nearby?"

His attempt at small talk fell to the ground. The other said, "I'm John, but you still didn't answer my question. If you are hiding something, then maybe I shouldn't talk to you at all."

"What's your problem, and why are you in such a huff?"

John looked at him and said, "I can't tell by the way you dress what your political views are. Normally, I can...I'm very good at that. I can't stand Blue State people, if you know what I mean...pig-headed, always want their way. If you're one of them, I don't even want to talk to you."

Ken was apolitical, and really avoided thinking about issues. He was somewhat of a free spirit, who loved life, and wanted to avoid talking about heavy things. Still, he was put off by John's demanding tone, and said, "I'm the son of a coal miner, named Fred, and my mother's name is Alice. She worked in a bakery for six years, then stopped to raise her children."

"Stop changing the subject. You really know how to dance around an issue. I think you're trying to hide your colors. Why don't you admit it!"

Ken said, "I'm getting married to my high school sweetheart next spring. She wants to have kids right away. At first I was reluctant, but I love her and figure it will work out. I'm a physical therapist over at the rehab. The money is okay for a single guy, but I'm worried if we'll struggle if one of us has to quit work."

John said, "Yeah, straight-laced, yuppie wannabe; your looking bluer by the minute."

"Oh, did I tell you I ran track in college, the quarter mile. I had a scholarship; but I gave it up, because I was really into theater, and thought I could be an actor. I sold some poems, and got excited and overnight I thought I was a novelist. It's funny how things go. You know. You wish you turned right instead of left..."

"Ha, you said it, you are one of those right-wieners, I mean wingers, and you should have turned left. We'll forget you then; unless you want to change your affiliation right now."

Ken was puzzled. He'd rarely seen anyone so angry, and was bothered by this instant judgment. He said, "I have a brother who plays in a great rock band, and a sister with blond hair and blue eyes, the spitting Image of Carrie Underwood, except a little taller. She thinks she can be the next American Idol too."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"When you came here," Ken admitted, "I wanted to know what music you liked, if you draw, or write. I wondered if you had a brother like mine, or whether you were close to your father."


"It was important to me. I wanted to get to know you, who you are. But you just see people as this issue or that issue, and write them off if they don't see eye to eye with you."

"That's not true. I don't hate my dad, and he always votes opposite with me. I just can't stand to be in the same room with him, and I tell him too!"

"Well, my moms a liberal Catholic. My dad is protestant, but doesn't go to church. He's probably conservative by your standards. I don't know what I believe. But we never fight or argue. We don't claw at each other at the dinner table. Sure, sometimes we talk about serious things, where we stand on issues, but when we look at each other we see people, not walking political posters."

"Your house is weird," John contested. "My father would kill me if I brought home a republican. My mom would disown me if I marry a conservative; and she'll never have to worry either! If I find out a girl I'm dating is from a Blue State, I leave her on the curb and let her walk home!"

"Why not ask her before the date begins?"

"Don't want to ruin it. If I pry she might think I was controlling, and not want to go out with me- in case she's a red state girl. I don't bring up politics until she does. Then if she opens her lip and starts spouting that garbage, she's out on her ear!"

Ken said, "Then don't you ever date my sister!"

"Ah ha! Admit it, you are from a whole family of right-wing fanatic nut-cases!"

"Are you kidding. My sisters a democrat, but she's not a jerk like you. And you are controlling. You demand everyone conform to your viewpoint or you write them off as despised misfits!"

"They are misfits!"

"They're people, John...breathing, eating, people. And if all you see are political issues, then you're missing the best part of life."

"Oh, you're just saying that because you're a right winged nut!"

Ken could see he was chasing his tail, and said, "I hoped to run into a person today, not a campaign speech. And I'd have listened to your viewpoints if you weren't acting like a rabid dog just waiting to bite my hand."


Do we love issues or people? Can we love people despite disagreements about issues?

Once upon a time, people were people; and the world was not polarized. Once upon a time, people didn't size people up and write them off because of a different religion, or different political party.

When we realize that every human has intrinsic value, and is more than a point of view, we begin to look at them as more than a walking issue. They are somebody’s mother, brother, sister, son, cousin, uncle. They had good and bad parents, felt loved and unloved, were secure and insecure. Some grew up rich, others poor, some were writers, others dancers. All of them wanted to love and be loved unconditionally.

Then they had a thought, an independent one; perhaps not as informed as another's. But when did they stop being a person with an intrinsic value, and become a walking issue to be written off?

Anger- in our hearts- towards others, is often due to lack of respect. In a polarized world, peace comes only when we value people as having worth that doesn't wash off with rain. They may be wrong. They may make mistakes. They may need to hear other views. But if I can't see their value, then I'm the one who is lost.  More >

 Our Valentine6 comments
picture14 Feb 2006 @ 09:08, by jazzolog. Relationships
All the way to Heaven is Heaven.

---St.Catherine of Siena

If only I may grow: firmer, simpler---quieter, warmer.

---Dag Hammarskjold

Since everything is none other than exactly as it is, one may well just break out in laughter.

---Long Chen Pa

Dana in courtship decor, 1981. Somehow my escape plan never materialized.

The marriage had lasted but 5 years. The exterior usually was ideal. Photos of us look perfect. Wonderful job, nice home, great friends, and most important 2 magnificent children. But there was discontent---unacknowledged, and it had spread fatally. The year was 1968, the sexual revolution just had begun, and there had to be a first victim. We were it.

I didn't take the divorce well. I didn't think it was right. I was ashamed. There never had been divorce on either side of my family---that I know of. That's the point: where I came from, dairyfarming and grapegrowing Western New York, such a thing was a disgrace. She was from Connecticut, where you took "incompatability" in your stride. When she remarried 4 years later she said cheerily, "Now the children will have TWO fathers." I didn't look at it as a grand opportunity. I was bereft not to be raising those kids under my own roof.

My journey of wild wander and mythic monsters had begun in a Bridgeport courtroom. Fifteen years later I was wreckage on a distant shore. There had been tumultuous relationships, all failed. Jobs came and went. In 1974, I found myself in Houston, at John Lomax Jr.'s funeral, sitting in a corner on the floor, weeping. I wanted to go home. I did.  More >

 50 years of love!11 comments
picture 23 Dec 2005 @ 14:15, by silviamar. Relationships
Last Saturday I celebrated with my family the golden wedding of my uncle and aunt. After living together for 50 years, they still keep the emotion in their eyes when they see each other. Isn't it beautiful?  More >

 Max and Alana's Heart Story Website!! and Relationship Report2 comments
8 Nov 2005 @ 06:07, by magical_melody. Relationships
Hello Everyone!

Well I am formally announcing our new website: Heart Story

We invite you to read this months RelationShip Report:


Where you will be introduced to a snippet of our homepage in newsletter style view, the one we sent out to our mailing list highlighting a couple of our flagship products and formerly introducing Heart Story!  More >

 in honor of mars retrograde...4 comments
picture25 Oct 2005 @ 06:05, by faith1. Relationships
Someone from my past contacted me
with words i still can't believe...

"I love you!"
"I have always loved you!"

... in my flopping around,
like a tuna on the deck...
i found my own council from an old
"Angels Speak!"
(my angels talking to me)

and i wanted to share.

mars retrograde can bring it back
it's what we 'do with it' that matters...  More >

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