New Civilization News - Category: Relationships    
 Stress and Drivers1 comment
10 Mar 2005 @ 17:04, by craiglang. Relationships
I have often been fascinated by various personality typing tools such as Myers Briggs, and the Wilson Social Interaction Types.

Just as a background, in the Wilson model the primary types are Analytical, Amiable, Expressive and Driver. The sort is by ask vs tell assertiveness and task vs people focus:

- Analyticals have a task direction, ask assertiveness,
- Drivers have a task direction and tell assertiveness,
- Amiables are more people directed with ask assertiveness,
- Experessives are people directed with tell assertiveness.
(Note: my own type is largely Expressive/Amiable - people focus with a borderline tell/ask assertiveness. This translates to a focus on ideas and people)

What I have noticed recently is that many more people seem to be showing Driver type of mannerisms. This constitutes a "tell" assertiveness, but a task focus. In short, it becomes a "bossy" or directive interaction. Getting the job done with a minimum of discussion seems to be the most important. There is less tolerance for discussion, etc...

Typically this interaction type seems to show up alot under stress. One often sees intolerance of questions or ambiguity - and in cases of disagreement, a tendency to "lay down the law". I have noticed this alot in multiple aspects of life. This leads me to ask the question - is there alot more stress in the world at large in recent weeks/months?

I have noticed this among people in the day job and at school. I have also seen it on the road as road rage seems to be increasingly prevalent - drivers honking and flipping eachother off, etc... And I simply get the sense that there seems to be a wave of this ornery/agressive attitude as each person seems to be percieving other as elbowing into his/her personal space.

I have been wondering if others have percieved this, or if it just my own perception. And if this is really the case, then I wonder what is the "driver of the drivers".  More >

14 Feb 2005 @ 22:06, by vibrani. Relationships
I can't believe ten years has gone by so quickly. I've been a member of NCN for ten years (this April). That was soon after this site went up. I got to this site at that time by doing searches under the Celestine Prophecy and spirituality. The first person I interacted with was another new member, Vax, and boy did we have some fun having the chat room to ourselves most of the time. (Ming, remember those rituals? hahahaha I am sure Ming would rather forget them.)

Since I joined I've met dozens of interesting people, learned a lot, and developed a few good friendships with NCNers both online and in person, some lasting the entire ten years. It's been a very varied journey here, filled with every emotion. There has been laughter, tears, flame wars, doomsdayers, hackers, frustrations, break-throughs, healing, and education. And yet, I hang in here and consider it my second home on the Internet, and am grateful for its presence. Ming, happy tenth anniversary. Happy aniversary to all NCNers. Any plans to make some radical design changes to NCN to signify a new decade?

 IN MEMORY OF KIKO6 comments
picture 2 Feb 2005 @ 09:47, by magical_melody. Relationships
My dearest friend, you were the pet companion of my life. I will always love you! I thank you for your loving Presence in my life and for being a powerful healer not only to me, but to Sylvia and others.  More >

 Three Graces5 comments
picture25 Jan 2005 @ 05:24, by koravya. Relationships
I keep in mind the thought that I’d like to come up with something for ncn. Yet I’m passing through a time that I guess can be described as the doldrums. Not exactly depression or anything quite so deep. More of a sense of emptiness, and a sense of directionlessness akin to looking down a trail which leads into the fog.
A very dear friend who lives near Boulder, Colorado fell asleep on a heating pad three weeks ago, and woke up with a third degree burn on her back about the size of a videocassetee, so I talked with her quite frequently over the phone during the excruciating time she went through as she began to heal. She got her skin graft and is home now in the care of her mother and sister. The rest of the world disappears when you are thinking about things like that.
My mother’s cat died about a week after new years. This was a cat she raised from a kitten, and he was her companion at home she could look after, especially since my father died five years ago. My mother is a good one for always taking care of living creatures. She takes a walk out in her back yard every day to leave some bread and perhaps some fruit for the birds and bunnies and squirrels. So here again, a loss, some sorrow, and pain have touched someone close to my heart.
Then there was all that news of the tsunami, and my thoughts about its striking the place where I once lived.
And then there is all of this neverending news about the evil and corruption that pervades the economic and political world, and I follow many of those insightful observations on ncn about all of this, and I feel empty.
There are alternative places to live in Australia, just as there are on this continent, and maybe my time will come to be a part of one of those. Maybe my time will come to relocate, and maybe I will be washed away by the next tsunami. We thought we were on the verge of changing something in the late 60’s and early 70’s. In retrospect, how naive we were. The voices are there. I read them on ncn, and I read them all over the web, and in various print publications and books, and I think I would like to say something about all of this, but that is not my role, although I do get some points across and do make some of my students at school think in ways slightly different from what they are used to. So that is my contribution in that arena. Otherwise, I want to look beyond the suffering and the death and the madness, for it is coming upon us in ever increasing waves, and there is little to say that is going to change that. The only questions are when and how, and there are a hundred thousand pages on the web that will give you whatever prediction you might be partial to.
I want to live with the hope for how things can be better. I want to live with the healing that we are all going to have to go through, those of us who live into the times of the next generation. I want to bury the dead with the sense of eternal spirit. I want to hope that the waves of destruction can in some sense provide a cleansing for the spirit of our human life.
I like to take walks along canyon trails, through damp and misty forests, and along riverbanks at sunset, and snap a few photos along the way, picking out some little arrangement of the natural world, and fixing it, a frozen moment in time, that surely will melt, but for now, but for now, I can enjoy it for just a few more fleeting moments.
May tomorrow bring a moment or two or three of joy to your heart, may whatever wounds you bear continue their healing, may the spirits you have laid to rest stay warm in your heart, and may all of your days find you with someone to care for.
*-_/*  More >

picture 13 Jul 2004 @ 17:42, by magical_melody. Relationships
As our world goes topsy-turvy, and our shared realities play out their his-terical and his-torical patterns, I continue to see multiple opportunities presented, which have the power to move us into co-creating a new shared story, (our heart story!!). I see the foundation of unconditional love as facilitating these spaces of common-unity. Memories surface as old pictures and stifled cries for love evoke us to release the barriers so healing can come.

Photo: The Fern and especially the Silver Fern is a national symbol for New Zealand. In Maori, the Koru (fern frond spiral) symbolizes new life, new beginnings, growth, tranquility, harmony and peace.  More >

 Happy Anniversary, Honey13 comments
picture11 Jul 2004 @ 02:08, by jazzolog. Relationships
What does the spring wind have in mind,
coming day and night to these groves and gardens?
It never asks who owns the peach and damson trees but blows away their crimson without a word.


To every natural form, rock, fruit or flower,
Even the loose stones that cover the high-way,
I gave a moral life.

---William Wordsworth

If we have not found heaven within, it is a certainty we will not find it without.

---Henry Miller

Our wedding day, July 11, 1982. Left to right, Dana, Richard and his parents, J. Ralph and Rhea Carlson.

Twenty-two years today I believe it is. Strange day for a wedding, but a master astrologer charted July 11th as just about the only window such a peculiar combination as Dana and I were---and probably still are---were given to do it. The people who introduced us weren't sure now whether or not they'd created a monster. From what I understand, most folks who knew us both harbored doubts it would work. Some spoke their concerns aloud. Our chemistry told us differently, and we shared powerful common interests and goals. So for better or worse...  More >

 My Addiction Loves Me1 comment
picture15 Jun 2004 @ 10:12, by jazzolog. Relationships
Preparing food is not just about yourself and others. It is about everything.

---Shunryu Suzuki

A thief entered the house of a Sufi and found nothing there to steal. As he was leaving, the dervish, sensing his disappointment, threw him the blanket on which he had been lying.


Fishermen have hauled their nets and gone.
The crows of dusk, in pairs, all flown.
Young moon, a tattered fan,
Thin clouds, a ragged gown.

---Tu Fu

The photo, taken by Ivy Clear, is of the author, on the road and a bit zonked in the summer of 1971. This would make the man, despite all appearances, aged 31!

There are times of loneliness, brought on by and/or bringing on the use of intoxicating substance, when one can feel a bond of friendship with that bottle, that pipe, that syringe. Ever since the first primitive man fell face down into a puddle of some kind of fermentation, and came up with a feeling of giddy well-being, men have wondered about this sense of relationship---and sometimes even given it a name or worshipped it as a god. Tribal man was very careful about it, and only designated holy people or times of the year that were appropriate for altered state indulgence. Violations were extreme taboo. In our society, where every man with money in his pocket is king and shaman, and every woman at least priestess of her medicine cabinet, a little fling can be anyday, all day.  More >

picture1 Jan 2004 @ 03:33, by magical_melody. Relationships
Solara 2004 Overview for the year.

The Year of the Monkey. (Chinese Year - Some Information)

Is he the one on your back, or the trickster simply trying to get your attention?  More >

 Social Policies
8 Oct 2002 @ 11:21, by sharie. Relationships
I lived and worked in downtown Chicago, in its oasis of wealth along the coast of beautiful Lake Michigan.

I lived in a hi-rise and worked in another hi-rise along the Magnificent Mile. Across the street from my office building was a famous museum with marble floors, famous paintings and even more famous sculptures... all were hundreds and hundreds of years old.

Inside the buildings and on the sidewalks, men carrying briefcases, wearing business suits and expensive shoes, who drove luxury cars, and no doubt lived in homes costings hundreds of thousands of dollars, were rushing from place to place.

Some of the men were lawyers, some were Judges, earning $5,000 to $100,000 every month, on average.

Yes, there were women, but most were men.

It was all very impressive and respectable.

Just around the corner and down the street, lived babies and children in public housing, the *squalor* of inhumanity.

In these war zones for children, they learned at an early age, that life was hell. They were treated like worthless trash, and they learned that *life* was worthless.

Just down the street and around the corner was that famous museum, with the famous paintings and even more famous sculptures.

And there was I, a Forensic Psychologist, paid by the State to conduct psychological interviews, psychological tests, psychological assessments and to write report recommendations to the Court Judges.

There I was in the middle, between the war zone for children treated like worthless trash and that posh marbled-floor museum with their works of art, and those dashing lawyers and Judges in their business suits rushing to meetings to proclaim their value, their entitlement to public funds which the public paid to help the children.

We were all blind and stupid.

The *real* works of art are the children.

Rather than public funding going to the pockets of *lawyers representing the State" and "lawyers representing the child" and the Court Judges... rather than public funding going to the pockets of Psychologists and Social Workers, none of whom did anything to help the children, all this money should be used to provide decent housing for the children. Not segregated buildings where they'd be set apart as "the poor" but in half-way homes in small towns, which would cost half the price of the inner-city slums (built by politicians so they'd have *voters*). The new half-way homes would have a working stove and refrigerator, and a house-mother to help with the cooking and childcare, so the children could get the nurturing and nutrition they need.

In that moment of insight, I lost respect for my culture. I lost respect for my profession. I lost respect for lawyers, for Judges, for politicians, for teachers, for everyone greedily grabbing for their share... while the children are relegated to filth and abuse.

Children are the *real* works of art, and until they are treated *better* than the paintings and sculpture, we are not a civilization, but a bunch of blithering idiots.

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