16 Mar 2003 @ 09:15, by Jeffrey Edelheit
My journey to understand the presence of the Soular light has been through my path of destiny.
More on the soular light or the light of the soul and my journey to realize its existence.
Recently I have had exposure to several people who are addicted to hard drugs. I watched them lose all sense of self and their minds believing as if they were in control. Every action was based upon their need to survive. Not live but survive. The end result was a great amount of grief and anguish to those around them. I thought maybe I could channel enough light to help them go beyond their addiction. Let them see or feel their own hearts in order to have a chance of finding themselves and going beyond the addiction. It did not work they ended up in jail and at first I felt as if I had failed. Then I was shown that they had made their own choices and unless they not only asked for help but also followed through with the actions of integrity, I was just another part of their game of survival.
But I also realized that my prayers and realization that the soular light does exist just might have been imprinted upon their being ness and at some point in the future it will be waiting for them as an inner guiding light. We may not be able to see the effects of the projection of light but that does not mean it is not at work. Only time will tell.
I share with groups that when they smoke weed on a regular basis that it can impede their ability to feel emotions to their core. It is by feeling our emotions and being able to feel ourselves as having a presence that we can allow the soular light to be integrated. It is at that time we can begin to increase our awareness that synchronicity is at work or what some may call divine order.
The key to for us to better understanding the Soular light comes from our being able to experience what it is like to become fully present. For the most part I really did not understand exactly what that meant. What do you mean I am not being present with you, do you not see me sitting in front of you, am I not breathing or conversing with you? Am I not drinking this cup of tea or seeing the things that around me? I am not a ghost or vivid part of your imagination so how is it you can say I am not being present? Hmmmmmmmm .
For most of my life I would be aware of being alive and felt aware that everyone one of my actions were thought out. As if I was in my own movie and my mind kept the script. One day when I was about 12 and walking to school I had to stop and look up into the sky and thought there is more to life then this. Something is greater. That thought got put on the shelf for almost 20 years. Then inside something began to trigger me to start a quest. I was clueless as to what it was that I was seeking I just knew I had to find it. Internally in my 20tys I was dealing with anxieties that were keeping me bound inside and yet still having to function as a person all the time being aware of the script being played out.
What I did not realize at that time was that I was experiencing the feelings of being present by acknowledging that there was something I needed to find and began to learn what that may be. Each place I looked brought a new experience and piece of knowledge. It was as if I was on a journey of self-discovery. I needed to find out who am I. Why do I feel the way that I do? For the most part I would not understand how to quiet my thoughts or what to do as a person so I numbed myself out in front of the television or finding new places to eat.
Then through a series of synchronistic events I began to find what I was looking for. To make a long story short I found a spiritual teacher that had the vibration I was seeking. The minute I heard her voice and what she was sharing every cell of my body responded with this is it. I became very close to her and the existing group with it lasting for over 7 years. I gave my complete heart and soul to the process and people. This is where I learned about energy, channeling and the unseen forces of karma.
When it came time for the group to come to a closure and the teacher to separate to address health issues I was spun out and brought to a moment of having to face myself as me a spiritual physical self. A great deal of occurrences were happening that led up to this time. The separation was very painful for me as part of me felt as if I lost my connection to god. I took on the feeling that at some level I failed god. One evening, I was home alone and all of a sudden I felt as if an incredible weight was lifted from my spirit. I felt as if I could fly, I was free……… It was an amazing feeling after having so much time with heaviness of the forces I was dealing with external and internally.
It lasted for hours until I began to go into what I would call spiritual shock. I began to cry and ask for forgiveness from god and the spiritual deities I believed in and a voice came, so clearly, and shared with me that I must hurry up as people are waiting for me. I replied who would want to wait for me, look at me I am a Karmic wasteland. The tears continued to flow. It took seven more years for me to heal my heart. The voice would come back and shared that I would find three healers who would assist me. Over the seven years each healer showed up one after the other. The first assisted me in bringing out the depth of the emotional grieving that was inside of me. The second brought a message and vision. The message was… An Angel of darkness can appear as an angel of light but an Angel of light cannot appear as an Angel of darkness. This came because I still was not sure which side I was representing. It was then I realized my light was real. In the vision I saw the earth, before we arrived, she was so beautiful with array of colors and vibrancy and total aliveness. It was then I realized that we have been given everything we need, all the resources all the tools are right in front of us. All the grief and sorrow and pressures of life have all been self-created. We did it with the resources we have been given and everything is alive. We have been blessed with being surrounded by total and complete incredibleness. And yet we want more power, more resources and in the end what I am coming to realize all we are really seeking is ourselves, our purpose and the answer to Who Am I?.
It is through my experiences that I am realizing how it is so important to stay present as throughout our day we are destined to synchronistic occurrences. I believe that our destinies are set. What changes is how we face each moment and our thoughts and reactions. To me, it feels as if many of us before even coming to this world, for the first time, were in agreement to work together in finding the meaning of having a physical presence and being in co-existence. When I meet someone by chance and we begin to share of our lives I am in awe of how a turn in any direction would have prevented our coming together. Each of our journeys from birth to the moment of sharing. More and more I am feeling a deeper connection with others as we share of the experiences we gathered upon our life’s journey. It is as if we all have beacons and now searching for meanings, answers and connections.
That is why I am seeing how important it is to stay present so we can be aware. Most insight comes to me in the form of energy that I can feel then place a thought to it. When I meet someone I open a dialogue as if on a quest to learn of the connection. What brought us together, what is to be shared what knowledge is there to be given and received. I am seeing how my mind and spiritual body are needing to be in cooperative space in order to move forward. When I sense a connection and begin the interaction I try to stay in my moment so I can feel the subtle energies at work. Then allow them to direct the directions of the sharing and watch what unfolds. It is a wonderful experience that awaits us all.
I also have been made more aware of the roots of my own actions. When I react to something I can go inside and admit to myself that I am in reaction. I can feel what triggered me so deep. By feeling my reaction to its total depth I can get a greater sense of me. Then if the space is safe I can share it with the other person and that is one tool of honoring the connection.
More to come………
Jeffrey
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