| New Civilization News: Don Ligón |
Category: Ideas, Creativity 10 comments
13 Jul 2006 @ 20:02 by jmarc : Raw Data to be refined 14 Jul 2006 @ 08:58 by jstarrs : Wondefull! Thanks Monique (and Juan Marco!) Can you put a picture up, also and put your name under the poem? 14 Jul 2006 @ 11:06 by judih : Edited version - thank you so much jose Thanks for giving this a first over. i've been working with the flow: See what you think, Monique. Raw Data Each time that I submerge in you I fall naked like a drop of broken, vulnerable water a hanging cloud in your sky. Each time that I sink in your water I see fog around the world My eyes behind a veil obscured by the misty rain of your world. With each second, lost, flying The land returns sun and the sun returns moon nourished by the seeds of your insanity. And there in the horizon, Discover the light and the land The lightning and the thunder Behind a hill, behind a mount. Where light and shadow meet grow blackberries and berries Where the noise of the rain Leaves silence in my ears I lose myself in your smell of papaya Collapsing into your eyes, I become numb. And with the passage of time With each new birth of a bright star In the awakening sky of my heart protected by mystical reason Suspended in the hole that lives within the fanatic soul I'm dragged by the river bed of my blood flowing in sounds without echo. Each time that I submerge in you, My wanted seducer My lover, Mr. Womanizer I return with my soul overflowing With haunted faith and dry mouth and a fever to be reborn again. 17 Jul 2006 @ 11:43 by monique : Looking through the translation Hi guys, I put up a picture, sorry, did't find a smaller one which would suit the poem. Thanks for the translations, I did one myself as well. Still looking through it. I'll try to post a final version soon. 17 Jul 2006 @ 15:44 by judih : monique, can't see the picture looking forward to your own translation. ...........edit......... now i see it! nice! 18 Jul 2006 @ 11:51 by monique : Don Ligón - English translation Each time that I submerge in you I fall naked From a cloud hanging in your sky Like a drop of water Vulnerable and broken. Each time that sink in your water I see fog around the world My eyes behind a veil Obscured by the misty rain Of your world. With each second The earth becomes sun And the sun becomes moon Lost, flying, Nourished by the seeds of your insanity. And there in the horizon The light meets the land, And the lightning meets the thunder, Behind a hill, behind a mountain. Where light and shadow come together Grow blackberries and berries, Where the noise of the rain Leaves silence in my ears, I lose myself in your smell of papaya, Collapsing into your numb eyes. And with the passage of time, With each new birth Of a bright star in the sky You awake in my heart, Protected by my mystical reason Suspended in the hole That lives within the fanatic soul, You’re dragged by the river beds of my blood Flowing to the hum of my sound without echo. Each time that I submerge in you, My beloved seducer, My lover Don Ligón I return with my soul overflowing, With haunted faith And my mouth dry and feverish. I return To be reborn again. What do you think Judi? Let me know if there's anything that you think might work better differently. 18 Jul 2006 @ 14:41 by judih : yes.. one addition of 'I' in the second stanza and this seemed to flow better: "I lose myself in your papaya smell and collapse into your numb eyes." So, like this: Don Ligón - English translation Each time that I submerge in you I fall naked From a cloud hanging in your sky Like a drop of water Vulnerable and broken. Each time that I sink in your water I see fog around the world My eyes behind a veil Obscured by the misty rain Of your world. With each second The earth becomes sun And the sun becomes moon Lost, flying, Nourished by the seeds of your insanity. And there in the horizon The light meets the land, And lightning meets thunder, Behind a hill, behind a mountain. Where light and shadow come together Grow blackberries and berries, Where the noise of the rain Leaves silence in my ears, I lose myself in your papaya smell and collapse into your numb eyes. And with the passage of time, With each new birth Of a bright star in the sky You awake in my heart, Protected by my mystical reason Suspended in the hole That lives within the fanatic soul, You’re dragged by the river beds of my blood Flowing to the hum of my sound without echo. Each time that I submerge in you, My beloved seducer, My lover Don Ligón I return with my soul overflowing, With haunted faith And my mouth dry and feverish. I return To be reborn again. ______________ what do you think? and i so very thank you for clearing up that "Mr. Womanizer" translation! (muffled giggle) It's a very passionate poem. Thick and luscious. 24 Jul 2006 @ 08:49 by monique : Thanks Judi, it does sound better :) I forgot the "I" in the second stanza (I didn't mean to leave it out). I definitely like your suggestion about the papaya smell. It goes better with the "rain". Well, "Don Ligón" (if you translate it literally) means "womanizer", but I didn't use it in this literal sense in the Spanish version, rather as a name, so I left it in English. 22 Aug 2006 @ 10:24 by Abinoro Akporode Collins @196.207.2.106 : poet that was a wonderful piece. can you please send me some tips on how to become a great poet. 3 Sep 2006 @ 11:31 by monique : Write from the heart! That's all I know. I'm not a "professional" poet myself. I just write to express what I feel about the world, people, emotions... I'm glad you liked my poem, thank you so much! Good luck! Monica Other entries in Ideas, Creativity 20 May 2008 @ 15:32: Who Turned Out the Lights? 18 May 2008 @ 08:09: Fading 26 Apr 2008 @ 06:42: ...making War 10 Apr 2008 @ 20:41: Happening 10 Apr 2008 @ 19:35: What’s Working: Creator of Moments 10 Apr 2008 @ 07:15: The Winds 1 Mar 2008 @ 08:57: Black Jade 24 Feb 2008 @ 07:27: Perfect 22 Feb 2008 @ 16:26: ode to beans, rice and celery soup 13 Feb 2008 @ 19:26: My Garden Waits for Me
|